Jump to content

if you heard a joke today, post it


Dr Gloom
 Share

Recommended Posts

7 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said:

What’s brown and runny? 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Usain Bolt. 

 

Sending Off Red Card GIF by Football Australia

  • Haha 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

19 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said:

What’s brown and runny? 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Usain Bolt. 

Aal show yee a fuckin' stick an aal, yi daft cunt

Justin Robinson Rage GIF by Film Riot

  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, Dr Gloom said:

My personal trainer said I should have a protein shake every night at 11pm.

 

That's whey past my bedtime.

Shoot Me Life GIF by War Of The Worlds

  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Friends of Brian Smith, lifelong steam railway enthusiast gathered to mark his passing earlier today.

 

Unfortunately Brian was run over by a class 4-6-0 engine on the nearby historic railway.

 ‘It’s how Brian would have wanted to go’, said his best friend Derek, ‘In fact he was chuffed to bits’.

  • Haha 7
Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 hours ago, Howmanheyman said:

 

That's still a good one, even from when Denisovan man was telling it. :good:

It was clubbed the fucker to death when Denisovan man told it

  • Haha 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Two relational databases go into a NoSQL bar. 

 

They have to leave straight away - they can't find a table. 

 

(Excel nerds of the board - consider yourselves well fucking outnerded). 

  • Haha 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

12 hours ago, NJS said:

Two relational databases go into a NoSQL bar. 

 

They have to leave straight away - they can't find a table. 

 

(Excel nerds of the board - consider yourselves well fucking outnerded). 

 

The Oracle has spoken

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 20/01/2024 at 23:22, NJS said:

Two relational databases go into a NoSQL bar. 

 

They have to leave straight away - they can't find a table. 

 

(Excel nerds of the board - consider yourselves well fucking outnerded). 

Oh No Smoke GIF by Afta Hill

  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 20/01/2024 at 23:22, NJS said:

Two relational databases go into a NoSQL bar. 

 

They have to leave straight away - they can't find a table. 

 

(Excel nerds of the board - consider yourselves well fucking outnerded). 

Anthony Edwards Comedy GIF

  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Paddy moves to England and starts frequenting his new local every Friday where he always buys three pints and when taking a drink takes turns with them. The barman asked him why he didn't just buy a pint at a time? Paddy tells him "Back home me and my two brothers would have few hours in our local every Friday without fail. When I drink they way I do it's like they're here with me." So this is what happens all year until one night he comes in and only orders two. The barman looks at another regular and they fear the worst. The barman goes over to paddy and gently says, "Paddy, I'm guessing you must've lost one of your brothers, I don't want to interfere with your grief but I'll just say I'm sorry for your loss." Paddy looks up puzzled and says "What? My brothers are perfectly fine." The barman then asks why he's only got two pints tonight? Paddy smiles and says, "I've only got two pints because I'm doing dry January and I know they won't do it."

  • Haha 8
Link to comment
Share on other sites

16 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said:

How many Spaniards does it take to change a light bulb?

 

 

 

Just Juan. 

 

8dfbjx.gif

stan marsh kill GIF by South Park

  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.