Monkeys Fist 45063 Posted February 13, 2023 Share Posted February 13, 2023 Showed my mates the tattoos I got recently in Malaga, and they were surprised at the level of detail on them. I said, aye… I’ll just see myself out, thanks. 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 12433 Posted February 14, 2023 Share Posted February 14, 2023 On 13/02/2023 at 18:46, Monkeys Fist said: Showed my mates the tattoos I got recently in Malaga, and they were surprised at the level of detail on them. I said, aye… I’ll just see myself out, thanks. Expand 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 12433 Posted February 27, 2023 Share Posted February 27, 2023 I was attacked today by six dwarves ... Not Happy 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 23548 Posted February 27, 2023 Author Share Posted February 27, 2023 On 27/02/2023 at 08:23, RobinRobin said: I was attacked today by six dwarves ... Not Happy Expand stop stealing my jokes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 12433 Posted February 27, 2023 Share Posted February 27, 2023 On 27/02/2023 at 10:04, Dr Gloom said: stop stealing my jokes! Expand Clearly steal them from the same place you do. 🙂 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 16396 Posted February 27, 2023 Share Posted February 27, 2023 On 27/02/2023 at 10:04, Dr Gloom said: stop stealing my jokes! Expand All right, Grumpy. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 23548 Posted February 27, 2023 Author Share Posted February 27, 2023 On 27/02/2023 at 10:53, Meenzer said: All right, Grumpy. Expand more like sleepy today 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig 6799 Posted February 28, 2023 Share Posted February 28, 2023 What do you call a dog without a bone? Floppy 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spongebob toonpants 4345 Posted March 14, 2023 Share Posted March 14, 2023 Person 1 : My surname is Smith because my father was a Smith. He used to spend all day every day beating metal and creating weaponry. Person 2 : My surname is Plumber. My father was a plumber. He spent all day every day clearing pipes and making sure the water flowed where it should. Person 3 : My surname is Dickinson… 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 23548 Posted March 14, 2023 Author Share Posted March 14, 2023 I once had a fight in a toilet. Serious shit went down. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 45063 Posted March 14, 2023 Share Posted March 14, 2023 We went wild camping and the only drinking water was from a deep hole in the ground. I took a bucket but it was too wide for the hole. It didn’t go down well. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 23548 Posted March 14, 2023 Author Share Posted March 14, 2023 On 14/03/2023 at 12:18, Monkeys Fist said: We went wild camping and the only drinking water was from a deep hole in the ground. I took a bucket but it was too wide for the hole. It didn’t go down well. Expand that reminds me. I saw an old man the other day who fell into a well i guess he couldn’t see that well 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 45063 Posted March 14, 2023 Share Posted March 14, 2023 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 12433 Posted March 15, 2023 Share Posted March 15, 2023 On 14/03/2023 at 11:17, Dr Gloom said: I once had a fight in a toilet. Serious shit went down. Expand On 14/03/2023 at 15:38, Dr Gloom said: that reminds me. I saw an old man the other day who fell into a well i guess he couldn’t see that well Expand 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 12433 Posted March 15, 2023 Share Posted March 15, 2023 My pet mouse "Elvis" died last night. He was caught in a trap. 🙂 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 36642 Posted March 15, 2023 Share Posted March 15, 2023 I’m suspicious about the veracity of that story 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 45063 Posted March 15, 2023 Share Posted March 15, 2023 On 15/03/2023 at 11:52, Alex said: I’m suspicious about the veracity of that story Expand These things happen in the low income, single ethnicity, areas of cities. Usually on cold grey mornings. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 12433 Posted March 16, 2023 Share Posted March 16, 2023 On 15/03/2023 at 12:02, Monkeys Fist said: These things happen in the low income, single ethnicity, areas of cities. Usually on cold grey mornings. Expand 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 36428 Posted March 18, 2023 Share Posted March 18, 2023 Bloke suspects his missus is having an affair so he pretends to go to work but goes on a drive before returning an hour later. Lo and behold he he sees movement upstairs so he lets himself in to hear their lass screaming in ecstasy, he goes ballistic, grabs a knife lying on the bench, runs upstairs and sees his pal giving his wife a good scudding. Blinded by rage and hurt he plunges his knife in the ex-pal and as his mate slumps to floor dead his missus says, 'Well if that's how you're going to go on you'll have no mates left!' 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 11905 Posted March 18, 2023 Share Posted March 18, 2023 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 45063 Posted March 18, 2023 Share Posted March 18, 2023 Bloke fell in a vat of liquid nitrogen and had a body temperature of -273.15°C when they pulled him out. They pronounced him dead but he was OK. 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 36428 Posted March 18, 2023 Share Posted March 18, 2023 Bloke died in the brewery after falling into a twenty tonne beer tank. It was a slow death as he ended up crawling out five times for a piss before finally drowning. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 12433 Posted March 19, 2023 Share Posted March 19, 2023 On 18/03/2023 at 21:43, Monkeys Fist said: Bloke fell in a vat of liquid nitrogen and had a body temperature of -273.15°C when they pulled him out. They pronounced him dead but he was OK. Expand 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 23548 Posted March 21, 2023 Author Share Posted March 21, 2023 On 15/03/2023 at 11:47, RobinRobin said: My pet mouse "Elvis" died last night. He was caught in a trap. 🙂 Expand :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 23548 Posted March 21, 2023 Author Share Posted March 21, 2023 I've opened a gym, where the instructors would go from door to door, to tell people about the benefits of joining it. I’ve named it Jehovah’s Fitness 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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