Dr Gloom 21912 Posted June 8, 2020 Author Share Posted June 8, 2020 i love that sort of joke. so crap it's good Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42379 Posted June 8, 2020 Share Posted June 8, 2020 I took my canoe out on the sea the other day, when loads of pork started floating by. I thought, “Best head in, it’s getting a bit choppy” 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 11361 Posted June 8, 2020 Share Posted June 8, 2020 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42379 Posted June 11, 2020 Share Posted June 11, 2020 Italian bloke rings the docs for a medical, and is asked to bring a specimen with him. “ ‘Ow am I gonna do tha? I don’t know any astronauts!” I Thangew. 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 11259 Posted June 12, 2020 Share Posted June 12, 2020 12 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: Italian bloke rings the docs for a medical, and is asked to bring a specimen with him. “ ‘Ow am I gonna do tha? I don’t know any astronauts!” I Thangew. Razzista! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 33129 Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 Mate was on the phone telling me he failed his Australian aboriginal music course he'd been taking. 'Didgeridoo it?' I asked him. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 15518 Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 Strewth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 33129 Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 4 minutes ago, Meenzer said: Strewth. My Sheila just told me it, sport. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 44805 Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 Tell her to rack off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 33129 Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 10 minutes ago, Gemmill said: Tell her to rack off. You tell her..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 30560 Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 That’s a niche kink there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42379 Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 58 minutes ago, ewerk said: That’s a niche kink there. Ken’s missus told him she was blowing aboriginal tubes before she upped and left. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 11361 Posted August 29, 2020 Share Posted August 29, 2020 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 11361 Posted October 19, 2020 Share Posted October 19, 2020 What are Michael Jackson's pronouns? He/He 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl 175 Posted October 19, 2020 Share Posted October 19, 2020 My lass just asked me what I was doing on the computer. I said, "Looking for cheap flights." She got very excited and said, "I love you," then got on her knees & gave me the best blow job I've ever had... Which surprised me as she's never been interested in darts before! 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42379 Posted October 19, 2020 Share Posted October 19, 2020 I rang the tinnitus helpline last night but they were no help, they didn’t even answer- it just kept ringing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 11361 Posted October 19, 2020 Share Posted October 19, 2020 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 33129 Posted October 19, 2020 Share Posted October 19, 2020 1 hour ago, Carl said: My lass just asked me what I was doing on the computer. I said, "Looking for cheap flights." She got very excited and said, "I love you," then got on her knees & gave me the best blow job I've ever had... Which surprised me as she's never been interested in darts before! On my wedding day my best man said, 'I know you're getting married, but that's one massive grin on your face!' I told him my soon to be new bride had sneaked round the night before and gave me the best blow job of my life. 'Jammy bastard' he replied. Five mins earlier the chief bridesmaid mentioned how happy my soon to be wife was looking. 'I popped round his last night and gave him the last blow of his life!' she beamed. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42379 Posted October 19, 2020 Share Posted October 19, 2020 My lad asked if chickens like music… “ Yes son, they like Classical music” ” Really Dad, who’s their favourite composer?” ” Bach Bach Bach Bach Bach” 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 11259 Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 4 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: My lad asked if chickens like music… “ Yes son, they like Classical music” ” Really Dad, who’s their favourite composer?” ” Bach Bach Bach Bach Bach” 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 11361 Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 8 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: My lad asked if chickens like music… “ Yes son, they like Classical music” ” Really Dad, who’s their favourite composer?” ” Bach Bach Bach Bach Bach” 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 21912 Posted October 20, 2020 Author Share Posted October 20, 2020 16 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: I rang the tinnitus helpline last night but they were no help, they didn’t even answer- it just kept ringing. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 21912 Posted October 20, 2020 Author Share Posted October 20, 2020 what do you do if you see a spaceman? park in it man 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 30560 Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42379 Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 I walked in on the Mrs. banging her personal trainer last night. I said “ I’m leaving, this just isn’t working out” 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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