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if you heard a joke today, post it


Dr Gloom
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  • 4 weeks later...

Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control at Athens airport.

 

"Nationality?" asks the immigration officer.

 

"German," she replies.

 

"Occupation?"

 

"No, just here for a few days."

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Apologies for hijacking the thread.........

 

Right, there is so much allegedly going on. Firstly, the budget for transfers and the standard of player has dropped from Cisse (German based striker) and Piatti to Benjiani standard of freebie crap.That is if the various groups can decide who the fuck to make a move for (the Rao family, Kentaro/SEM and Kean apparently drew up their own lists of targets) The Jones money has allegedly disappeared and we'll have to sell before we buy a £2.5m defender from Monaco. Today's story is that there is a rumour that the Raos want to sell. So we've gone from looking forward to having a belting young Argie playing for us to selling what few good players we have left. The problem is, there are so many stories about transfer targets, budgets, indecision at the boardroom......etc. that we fans don't know what to believe. Frankly, under Venky's we're looking 100 times worse than when you went down a few seasons ago. So we're a fucking joke club right now.

 

I'd put a joke on as well, but I actually haven't heard any.

 

The jokes on you billy if you were after cisse

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  • 3 weeks later...

Me and the wife were in the shopping centre earlier, where we rounded a corner to see a gaggle of young girls, all wearing next to nothing, pouring out of HMV.

 

"Phoarr!", I said to the wife, pointing at a gorgeous lass of about twenty. "I bet you'd fucking love to have legs like hers".

 

She didn't respond, but I could tell she was upset.

 

I could hear the sob's as I wheeled her up the ramp into Debenhams.

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One day a small cat was sitting hungry by a river when a small chipolata sausage came flowing past....the cat used his paw to get the chipolata and managed to not even get it wet. The cat was happy! The next day the cat was equally as hungry when a larger sausage came flowing past in the river, the cat dipped its paw in to get the sausage and only got its paw marginally wet, the cat was happy! The next day the cat was absolutely starving when a massive Frankfurter came flowing past..the cat dipped his paw in to get it but fell in! However the cat retrieved the sausage and was happy. The moral of the story is: the bigger the sausage....the wetter the pussy!

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His estate has just been announced.

Had a bob or two.

Yeah but there's some challenges to it's legitimacy, so it's not cut and dried...

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