PaddockLad 19557 Posted February 17 Share Posted February 17 On 16/02/2025 at 20:00, trophyshy said: I’ve just spent £300 on a limousine then discovered the fee doesn’t include a driver. Can’t believe I’ve spent all that money and nothing to chauffeur it. Expand 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 23707 Posted February 18 Share Posted February 18 I just had a physical. The doctor said, "Don't eat anything fatty. I said, "Like bacon and burgers?" "No fatty, don't eat anything!" 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 12265 Posted February 18 Share Posted February 18 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 12883 Posted February 18 Share Posted February 18 On 18/02/2025 at 10:48, wykikitoon said: I just had a physical. The doctor said, "Don't eat anything fatty. I said, "Like bacon and burgers?" "No fatty, don't eat anything!" Expand 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 37783 Posted February 18 Share Posted February 18 On 18/02/2025 at 10:48, wykikitoon said: I just had a physical. The doctor said, "Don't eat anything fatty. I said, "Like bacon and burgers?" "No fatty, don't eat anything!" Expand Surely there's some sort of compromise the doctor could make with you? Maybe just one sausage with cooked tomato instead of bacon in wholemeal bread? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 34105 Posted February 18 Share Posted February 18 Don't listen to him wyki, you still look great. 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 12609 Posted February 18 Share Posted February 18 On 18/02/2025 at 13:48, ewerk said: Don't listen to him wyki, you still look great. Expand Let us all spare a moment for the poor pervert who sniffs this seat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 12265 Posted February 18 Share Posted February 18 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 12883 Posted February 19 Share Posted February 19 On 18/02/2025 at 17:04, Dazzler said: Let us all spare a moment for the poor pervert who sniffs this seat. Expand 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wardi 285 Posted March 11 Share Posted March 11 I witnessed a convicted Dwarf attempting to make good his escape from Durham jail today by shimmying down the prison wall via some tied together blankets. I thought to myself ' that's just a little condescending'. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 46242 Posted March 11 Share Posted March 11 I knew a lad, dwarf, who was a heroin addict. I asked him why he got in to drugs and he said ” To get high”. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 12883 Posted March 12 Share Posted March 12 On 11/03/2025 at 21:13, Monkeys Fist said: I knew a lad, dwarf, who was a heroin addict. I asked him why he got in to drugs and he said ” To get high”. Expand 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 23707 Posted March 16 Share Posted March 16 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 46242 Posted March 16 Share Posted March 16 My lad asked me why boxers usually don’t have sex in the weeks leading to a fight. I said ” They usually don’t like each other mate “ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 37783 Posted March 16 Share Posted March 16 On 16/03/2025 at 08:43, wykikitoon said: Expand Real life was was more surreal than that, tbh. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 46242 Posted March 16 Share Posted March 16 On 16/03/2025 at 14:11, Howmanheyman said: Real life was was more surreal than that, tbh. Expand Remember when you turned up to work in a ball gown and the gaffer said ” Go on then, give us a Twirl?” Happy days… 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 12883 Posted March 17 Share Posted March 17 On 16/03/2025 at 14:01, Monkeys Fist said: My lad asked me why boxers usually don’t have sex in the weeks leading to a fight. I said ” They usually don’t like each other mate “ Expand 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aimaad22 4980 Posted March 20 Share Posted March 20 (edited) What do you call a gender neutral person who is lactose intolerant? Non buy dairy Edited March 21 by aimaad22 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 46242 Posted March 20 Share Posted March 20 On 20/03/2025 at 22:38, aimaad22 said: What do you call a gender neutral person who is lactose intolerant? Non buy diary Expand 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aimaad22 4980 Posted March 20 Share Posted March 20 What would you say to console them if that joke was upsetting? Their their 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 12883 Posted March 21 Share Posted March 21 On 20/03/2025 at 22:38, aimaad22 said: What do you call a gender neutral person who is lactose intolerant? Non buy diary Expand On 20/03/2025 at 23:25, aimaad22 said: What would you say to console them if that joke was upsetting? Their their Expand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 46242 Posted March 21 Share Posted March 21 “Knock Knock!” ”Whos there?” ”Hike” ” Hike Who” “ Unsuspecting son. Dad waiting with bated breath, Sets the perfect trap” 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 12609 Posted March 21 Share Posted March 21 I was working in a shop when the cashier called me over. He said, "These two blokes came in and tried to give me some fake fifty pound notes." "What did they look like?" I asked. He said, "Fifty pound notes." 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig 7324 Posted March 22 Share Posted March 22 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 46242 Posted March 22 Share Posted March 22 Totally the wrong thread, but can anyone explain to me why Tom Petty is so highly rated? He’s like a shit, middle-of-the-road AC/DC, writes the same song over and over again. The song named in the pic above is the only song of his that I can think of. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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