if you heard a joke today, post it

[Dougle 3760]

  On 04/04/2025 at 13:58, Gemmill said:

I ask cos our cat had worms recently. She's an outdoor cat who absolutely wrecks the local mouse community. Sometimes I come down in the morning and there's just a mouse head left. 

 

Two dead ones this morning. 

 

Anyway she's on regular dewormer now, the filthy bitch. 

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Aye, grew up on a farm and all our cats back then were always getting worms cos of the various mice, rats, rabbits (even a bloody hare once) and god knows what else they caught.

It was usually round worms which was horrible enough, but one poor bugger hoyed a fairly large tapeworm up, it was still moving about.

Traumatised to this day.

[Gemmill 51321]

  On 04/04/2025 at 15:29, Dougle said:

 

Aye, grew up on a farm and all our cats back then were always getting worms cos of the various mice, rats, rabbits (even a bloody hare once) and god knows what else they caught.

 

It was usually round worms which was horrible enough, but one poor bugger hoyed a fairly large tapeworm up, it was still moving about.

 

Traumatised to this day.

 

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I discovered the cat had worms cos one was hanging out of her arsehole, wiggling about.

 

[Dougle 3760]

  On 04/04/2025 at 15:39, Gemmill said:

 

I discovered the cat had worms cos one was hanging out of her arsehole, wiggling about.

 

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The tapeworms are the worst, built by little segments and apparently if one segment is left in the gut it generates a new worm.

Stuff of nightmares.

[strawb 4671]

Cats are fucking rank. Wish I could force the owners of cunts who leave dead wildlife or shite in our garden to come and pick it up.

 

Horrid, mangy things. 

[Craig 7000]

I got a job in a factory that makes Dracula figurines. 

 

There’s only two of us on that line, so I have to make every second count.

[Sonatine 12099]

[Dazzler 12219]

  6 hours ago, Craig said:

I got a job in a factory that makes Dracula figurines. 

 

There’s only two of us on that line, so I have to make every second count.

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This sucks…..I’ll see myself out.

[Howmanheyman 37218]

  6 hours ago, Craig said:

I got a job in a factory that makes Dracula figurines. 

 

There’s only two of us on that line, so I have to make every second count.

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See the union, Craig, there should be more than two of you, it's not right or safe.