if you heard a joke today, post it

[Dougle 3760]

1 hour ago, Gemmill said:

I ask cos our cat had worms recently. She's an outdoor cat who absolutely wrecks the local mouse community. Sometimes I come down in the morning and there's just a mouse head left. 

 

Two dead ones this morning. 

 

Anyway she's on regular dewormer now, the filthy bitch. 

 

Aye, grew up on a farm and all our cats back then were always getting worms cos of the various mice, rats, rabbits (even a bloody hare once) and god knows what else they caught.

It was usually round worms which was horrible enough, but one poor bugger hoyed a fairly large tapeworm up, it was still moving about.

Traumatised to this day.

[Gemmill 51287]

8 minutes ago, Dougle said:

 

Aye, grew up on a farm and all our cats back then were always getting worms cos of the various mice, rats, rabbits (even a bloody hare once) and god knows what else they caught.

 

It was usually round worms which was horrible enough, but one poor bugger hoyed a fairly large tapeworm up, it was still moving about.

 

Traumatised to this day.

 

 

I discovered the cat had worms cos one was hanging out of her arsehole, wiggling about.

 

[Dougle 3760]

1 hour ago, Gemmill said:

 

I discovered the cat had worms cos one was hanging out of her arsehole, wiggling about.

 

 

The tapeworms are the worst, built by little segments and apparently if one segment is left in the gut it generates a new worm.

Stuff of nightmares.

[strawb 4671]

Cats are fucking rank. Wish I could force the owners of cunts who leave dead wildlife or shite in our garden to come and pick it up.

 

Horrid, mangy things.