Howmanheyman 36517 Posted January 29 Share Posted January 29 8 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: About a month before he died, my uncle fell in a vat of lard. After that, he went downhill rapidly. I'm not pinching that. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 11313 Posted January 29 Share Posted January 29 2 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: Got some blood test results from the doc yesterday … Doc- ” Mr. Fist, I’ve never seen this before in my career- your DNA is back to front” Me- “ And?” 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 45113 Posted January 29 Share Posted January 29 Two wind turbines, in a field. One says “ Hello mate, what kind of music are you in to?” Other one replies “ Well, I’m a big metal fan” 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaddockLad 18982 Posted January 29 Share Posted January 29 TT humour level this morning 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 12470 Posted January 29 Share Posted January 29 8 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: Two wind turbines, in a field. One says “ Hello mate, what kind of music are you in to?” Other one replies “ Well, I’m a big metal fan” 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 11313 Posted January 29 Share Posted January 29 11 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: Two wind turbines, in a field. One says “ Hello mate, what kind of music are you in to?” Other one replies “ Well, I’m a big metal fan” 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 12470 Posted January 29 Share Posted January 29 38 minutes ago, Dr Gloom said: My mate keeps telling me to cheer up, things could be worse: you could be stuck in a hole underground full of water. I know he means well Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 36517 Posted January 29 Share Posted January 29 (edited) 17 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: Two wind turbines, in a field. One says “ Hello mate, what kind of music are you in to?” Other one replies “ Well, I’m a big metal fan” Edited January 29 by Howmanheyman 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 23594 Posted February 2 Author Share Posted February 2 A horse walks into a bar Barman: Hey Horse: Sure 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 36517 Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 Was the barman a yank? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 12470 Posted February 3 Share Posted February 3 4 hours ago, Dr Gloom said: A horse walks into a bar Barman: Hey Horse: Sure 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 23594 Posted February 3 Author Share Posted February 3 9 hours ago, Howmanheyman said: Was the barman a yank? aye 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 45113 Posted February 3 Share Posted February 3 2 hours ago, Dr Gloom said: guy HMHMyp 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonpack 11343 Posted February 3 Share Posted February 3 On 29/01/2025 at 10:39, Monkeys Fist said: Two wind turbines, in a field. One says “ Hello mate, what kind of music are you in to?” Other one replies “ Well, I’m a big metal fan” Fantastic 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 12470 Posted February 4 Share Posted February 4 14 hours ago, Toonpack said: Fantastic 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonpack 11343 Posted February 4 Share Posted February 4 Polar bear walks into a bar. Barman: What'll you have ? Polar bear: I'll have a pint of bitter and...........a packet of crisps. Barman: Why the pause ? Polar bear: Dunno, I was born with them. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 36517 Posted February 4 Share Posted February 4 8 minutes ago, Toonpack said: Polar bear walks into a bar. Barman: What'll you have ? Polar bear: I'll have a pint of bitter and...........a packet of crisps. Barman: Why the pause ? Polar bear: Dunno, I was born with them. The pause was probably for dramatic effect I'd guess? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 49832 Posted February 4 Share Posted February 4 Probably just thinking. I don't know if English is their first language. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 11917 Posted February 4 Share Posted February 4 54 minutes ago, Toonpack said: Polar bear walks into a bar. Barman: What'll you have ? Polar bear: I'll have a pint of bitter and...........a packet of crisps. Barman: Why the pause ? Polar bear: Dunno, I was born with them. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 12470 Posted February 4 Share Posted February 4 2 hours ago, Toonpack said: Polar bear walks into a bar. Barman: What'll you have ? Polar bear: I'll have a pint of bitter and...........a packet of crisps. Barman: Why the pause ? Polar bear: Dunno, I was born with them. Retirement isn't all it's cracked up to be. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 45113 Posted February 4 Share Posted February 4 2 hours ago, Howmanheyman said: The pause was probably for dramatic effect I'd guess? He probably realised they didn’t have any Penguin’s left. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 23594 Posted February 4 Author Share Posted February 4 A pony walks into a bar and coughs, “Hey, COUGH. Gimme a bu COUGH a beer COUGH.” The barman serves him and says, “What’s with your voice?” The pony says, “Nothing, I’m just a little hoarse. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 12470 Posted February 4 Share Posted February 4 3 minutes ago, Dr Gloom said: A pony walks into a bar and coughs, “Hey, COUGH. Gimme a bu COUGH a beer COUGH.” The barman serves him and says, “What’s with your voice?” The pony says, “Nothing, I’m just a little hoarse. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 11718 Posted February 4 Share Posted February 4 21 minutes ago, Dr Gloom said: A pony walks into a bar and coughs, “Hey, COUGH. Gimme a bu COUGH a beer COUGH.” The barman serves him and says, “What’s with your voice?” The pony says, “Nothing, I’m just a little hoarse. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 45113 Posted February 4 Share Posted February 4 Englishman, Irishman and Scotchman walk in to a bar. The barman says ” Fuck off, I’ve heard this one! “ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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