RobinRobin 12046 Posted January 3 Share Posted January 3 9 hours ago, Toonpack said: Incontinence pants made from pasta are Tena penne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 23013 Posted January 6 Author Share Posted January 6 A book just fell on my head. I only have my shelf to blame 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Carr's Gloves 4138 Posted January 6 Share Posted January 6 39 minutes ago, Dr Gloom said: A book just fell on my head. I only have my shelf to blame 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 23013 Posted January 6 Author Share Posted January 6 I wasn’t sure about my beard at first But then it grew on me 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 12046 Posted January 7 Share Posted January 7 6 hours ago, Dr Gloom said: A book just fell on my head. I only have my shelf to blame 5 hours ago, Dr Gloom said: I wasn’t sure about my beard at first But then it grew on me 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonpack 10798 Posted January 7 Share Posted January 7 9 hours ago, Dr Gloom said: I wasn’t sure about my beard at first But then it grew on me 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 23013 Posted January 7 Author Share Posted January 7 i saw an old man fall into a well. i guess he couldn't see that well Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 23013 Posted January 7 Author Share Posted January 7 the wife threatened to leave me if don't give up my disgusting habits. i was so shocked, i nearly spat out my toenails Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonpack 10798 Posted January 7 Share Posted January 7 Someone’s been raiding bins for Christmas cracker jokes. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 44181 Posted January 7 Share Posted January 7 1 hour ago, Toonpack said: Someone’s been raiding bins for Christmas cracker jokes. Mrs. F. threatened to leave me if I didn’t stop constantly quoting Oasis lyrics. I said “Maybe”. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 21993 Posted January 7 Share Posted January 7 Some might say that's nasty of her. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonpack 10798 Posted January 7 Share Posted January 7 5 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: Mrs. F. threatened to leave me if I didn’t stop constantly quoting Oasis lyrics. I said “Maybe”. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 12046 Posted January 8 Share Posted January 8 14 hours ago, Dr Gloom said: i saw an old man fall into a well. i guess he couldn't see that well 14 hours ago, Dr Gloom said: the wife threatened to leave me if don't give up my disgusting habits. i was so shocked, i nearly spat out my toenails I refer the honourable gentleman to my previous post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 36155 Posted January 8 Share Posted January 8 On 06/01/2025 at 20:28, Dr Gloom said: A book just fell on my head. I only have my shelf to blame 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonpack 10798 Posted January 22 Share Posted January 22 You can't tell if a joke is a bad joke unless it's full groan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 23013 Posted January 22 Author Share Posted January 22 The wife and I had a massive row about whose turn it was to do the laundry. I finally threw in the towel. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 35240 Posted January 22 Share Posted January 22 A private jet has about twenty minutes of fuel left before it's about to crash, there's four passengers on board the stricken aircraft but only three parachutes. The passengers discuss their options but realise one of them is going to miss out on safety. The first passenger doesn't mess around, he says, 'I'm Cristiano Ronaldo, I have millions of fans all around the world who would miss me if I die.' So with that he grabs the first chute and jumps out. No sooner than he does that the next man says, 'I'm President Trump, the greatest and smartest president in the history of the United States of America, my people couldn't live if their president died.' He then grabs the second chute and jumps out. The third person is Kevin Keegan and the last person is a young lad. Keegan says to the boy, 'I've lived most of my life, son, you've got yours ahead of you, you take the last chute and make the most of your life.' The kid then says, 'Its alright King Kev, there's parachutes for us both, the greatest and smartest president in the history of the United States of America took my satchel instead.' 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 32192 Posted January 23 Share Posted January 23 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonpack 10798 Posted Tuesday at 19:35 Share Posted Tuesday at 19:35 Lad I’ve known since middle school punched me so hard in the stomach I shat myself !! With friends like that who needs enemas 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 44181 Posted Tuesday at 19:45 Share Posted Tuesday at 19:45 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 12046 Posted yesterday at 02:39 Share Posted yesterday at 02:39 6 hours ago, Toonpack said: Lad I’ve known since middle school punched me so hard in the stomach I shat myself !! With friends like that who needs enemas 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 11256 Posted yesterday at 10:00 Share Posted yesterday at 10:00 14 hours ago, Toonpack said: Lad I’ve known since middle school punched me so hard in the stomach I shat myself !! With friends like that who needs enemas 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 23013 Posted yesterday at 10:16 Author Share Posted yesterday at 10:16 My mate keeps telling me to cheer up, things could be worse: you could be stuck in a hole underground full of water. I know he means well 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 35240 Posted yesterday at 10:20 Share Posted yesterday at 10:20 3 minutes ago, Dr Gloom said: My mate keeps telling me to cheer up, things could be worse: you could be stuck in a hole underground full of water. I know he means well Pinching that. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 44181 Posted yesterday at 10:22 Share Posted yesterday at 10:22 About a month before he died, my uncle fell in a vat of lard. After that, he went downhill rapidly. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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