Jump to content

if you heard a joke today, post it


Dr Gloom
 Share

Recommended Posts

11 minutes ago, wykikitoon said:

How do you stop moles digging up your garden?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Where possible moles should be treated as part of the biodiversity that gardens support. Should the activities of a mole be considered too disruptive there are several steps which can be taken to mitigate its activities or encourage them to move elsewhere or control moles. 

 

Mole netting

Netting is available which can prevent moles coming to the lawn surface to create molehills. This must however be installed before turf is laid. This is usually made of plastic and so can add to plastic pollution. 

 

Electronic devices

Electronic devices are available from some garden centres and mail order firms. The buzzing noise is said to drive moles away; however this may only be to another part of the garden.

 

Mole repellents

A type of mole-repellent smoke, sold as Pest-Stop Biofume Mole Smoke, emits castor oil fumes. These are said to line the tunnels and deter worms and other mole food from entering the tunnels. The hungry mole may move elsewhere, or it may simply create new tunnels nearby.

 

Planting

Caper spurge, Euphorbia lathyris, which is a biennial plant, has its adherents who claim the root exudates repel moles. It is worth a try, but be sure to remove most of the flower heads before seeding occurs or the plant can become invasive. Bulbs of Allium moly are also sold as a mole deterrent but are of doubtful value.

 

Mole traps

It is recommended that moles are not trapped. However, mole traps remain available from garden centres and hardware stores. It can be challenging to use these legally and great care is needed to avoid animal suffering. When deciding if killing the mole is an appropriate option it should be considered that vacant tunnel systems are often taken over by another mole from nearby and so you may not be free of a mole for long. If used correctly they are considered 'humane' method of control as death should be instantaneous when activated. However, this can be difficult to achieve as the mole is not always killed outright and consideration should be given to using an experienced professional. To find a local company search on-line.

Mole traps need careful placement in a tunnel that is about 10-20cm (4–8in) below the surface, but not directly under a molehill

The location of tunnels can be ascertained by scraping away a recent molehill and probing the hole with a pliable stick

Open up a tunnel with the minimum of disturbance, using a trowel and carefully align the jaws of the trap with the direction and depth of the tunnel ensuring the trap fits tightly

No bait is required

Once the trap is set, gently cover it with an upturned bucket, a sod of turf or similar to exclude light and draughts

Check the trap at least once a day

The mole will sometimes push soil into the trap. If this happens, the trap will need re-setting

Live-capture traps are also available for setting in mole tunnels. These must be inspected at least twice a day so that the mole can be released before it dies of starvation and/or stress. Moles can die of stress even within this time. Captured moles should be released at least one mile away from the area of capture, permission to release the mole must be gained from the landowner and it must be released into an environment that can support the animal. Meeting these requirements can make the use of live capture traps impractical.

 

Hire a professional

Mole smokes for killing moles are no longer on sale to home gardeners. Professional contractors can be employed to use pellets that emit toxic gases into the tunnel system, but these cannot be used within 10m (32ft) of occupied buildings. This can be a expensive option. These pellets can be effective but freedom from moles may not last long if there are other areas nearby from which moles can soon recolonise the garden.

 

 

FYP

  • Haha 9
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 06/12/2019 at 15:33, Howmanheyman said:

David Bowie: "You look a bit down in the dumps, Bing. What's wrong?"

 

Bing Crosby: "my inflatable arsehole needs blown up."

 

Bowie: "Do you want to borrow my rubber bum pump?"

 

Bing: "Rubber bum pump?"

 

Bowie: "Rubber bum pump."

 

Just bumping this in time for Christmas before @Monkeys Fist pinches it again. :good:

  • Haha 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

40 minutes ago, Toonpack said:

Which Knight can be sent on a quest to find anything ??

 

Sir Chengine

Sign up for Lee Ryder's free weekly Newcastle United newsletter for the  2024/25 season - Chronicle Live

"Wrang! It's me yi daft cunt!"

  • Haha 9
Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said:

Went to the doctor yesterday. 
 

“ How can I help?”

” I’ve got knee problems Doc”

” Well then fuck off home and stop wasting my time”

 

 

IMG_2994.gif.a6ac3120ec139610900fe88902834b86.gif

 

Too much time spent in the midlands on your work travels it seems?

 

:lol:

  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said:

Went to the doctor yesterday. 
 

“ How can I help?”

” I’ve got knee problems Doc”

” Well then fuck off home and stop wasting my time”

 

 

IMG_2994.gif.a6ac3120ec139610900fe88902834b86.gif

Frustrated Season 3 GIF by The Simpsons

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

19 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said:

Went to the doctor yesterday. 
 

“ How can I help?”

” I’ve got knee problems Doc”

” Well then fuck off home and stop wasting my time”

 

 

IMG_2994.gif.a6ac3120ec139610900fe88902834b86.gif

i'll end you elijah wood GIF

  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

So, to add to the rat panic, Mrs. F. got stuck in traffic this morning and broke down. 
 

Rang the AA who asked 

“ Is it over heating”

 

She said 

“ No, it’s in Waalka you posh cunt!”

 

 

 

 

IMG_1971.gif.2deba5474d8c6cbb84fd83cf79771ce8.gif

  • Haha 3
  • Jaysus... 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.