RobinRobin 10656 Posted August 25 Share Posted August 25 4 hours ago, aimaad22 said: I just saw two birds stuck together in the garden. Turns out they were velcrows. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wardi 167 Posted August 27 Share Posted August 27 I have just learned that Richard Gere's father was a very talented German ventriloquist. His name was Gottler. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 31434 Posted August 27 Share Posted August 27 1 minute ago, Wardi said: I have just learned that Richard Gere's father was a very talented German ventriloquist. His name was Gottler. "Nooooo!!" 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 11111 Posted August 27 Share Posted August 27 3 hours ago, Wardi said: I have just learned that Richard Gere's father was a very talented German ventriloquist. His name was Gottler. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 10656 Posted August 28 Share Posted August 28 11 hours ago, Wardi said: I have just learned that Richard Gere's father was a very talented German ventriloquist. His name was Gottler. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 41272 Posted August 28 Share Posted August 28 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Isegrim 9577 Posted August 28 Share Posted August 28 Sadly lost the wife last night and the only reason I’m posting is to make sure none of you go through the same terrible situation. She needed a blood transfusion but her blood type was not on record and I had no idea what it was. Things deteriorated very quickly and I could only hold Mrs CT’s hand and say goodbye. I will never forget how supportive she has always been. Even as she was fading away, she kept on whispering to me, “Be positive, be positive”. Summed my wife up, always thinking of others. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 42459 Posted August 28 Share Posted August 28 So sorry to hear that. I hope you're taking her advice. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 15094 Posted August 28 Share Posted August 28 Thoughts and prayers (mainly for CT learning that his dead wife was a bigamist) 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 31434 Posted August 28 Share Posted August 28 Poor CT's wife knew she'd dropped a bollock the first time she met her MiL. The MiL told her CT's middle name was actually Wednesday. When asked why she chose that name, CTs mam said she was shown CT for the first time by the midwife, she took her first look at him and all present agreed to call it a day. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonpack 8643 Posted August 28 Share Posted August 28 21 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said: Poor CT's wife knew she'd dropped a bollock the first time she met her MiL. The MiL told her CT's middle name was actually Wednesday. When asked why she chose that name, CTs mam said she was shown CT for the first time by the midwife, she took her first look at him and all present agreed to call it a day. Was that before or after the midwife slapped his mam. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 31434 Posted August 28 Share Posted August 28 2 hours ago, Toonpack said: Was that before or after the midwife slapped his mam. Rumour has it that a mistake was made and that the baby was thrown in the bin whilst the afterbirth was kept and raised instead. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonpack 8643 Posted August 28 Share Posted August 28 8 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said: Rumour has it that a mistake was made and that the baby was thrown in the bin whilst the afterbirth was kept and raised instead. What a placenta surprise 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 31434 Posted August 30 Share Posted August 30 On 28/08/2024 at 21:29, Toonpack said: What a placenta surprise Sounds like you're trying to do an Italian accent? Posting this bit of news underneath as a quick heads up to make sure you don't get into any trouble. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonpack 8643 Posted August 30 Share Posted August 30 I’m safe, I think pizza is glorified cheese on toast (shit glorified cheese on toast at that). 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 31434 Posted August 30 Share Posted August 30 4 minutes ago, Toonpack said: I’m safe, I think pizza is glorified cheese on toast (shit glorified cheese on toast at that). 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 15094 Posted August 30 Share Posted August 30 Dinner is served chez Toonpack 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tdansmith 2948 Posted August 30 Share Posted August 30 Q . What do you call a magician who has lost all his magic ? A. Ian 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 7039 Posted August 30 Share Posted August 30 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 11111 Posted August 30 Share Posted August 30 48 minutes ago, Tdansmith said: Q . What do you call a magician who has lost all his magic ? A. Ian 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aimaad22 3948 Posted August 30 Share Posted August 30 Why did the lawyer decide to participate in the local chess championships even though he wasn't very good at it? Because he believed in the power of a tourney Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 10656 Posted August 31 Share Posted August 31 7 hours ago, Tdansmith said: Q . What do you call a magician who has lost all his magic ? A. Ian 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJS 4240 Posted August 31 Share Posted August 31 An engineer goes to hell and asks the devil why it's so hot so the devil tells him the AC is knackered. So the engineer fixes it then goes on to fix the escalators, all the electrical including TVs etc and even fixes the Wi-Fi. Soon hell is a very nice place to live. God notices and goes to confront Satan and ask him what's going on. He replies that he was sent an engineer who fixed everything. God replies "Hang on, that's wrong, all engineers go to heaven specifically to prevent this from happening". Satan replies "Well what are you going to do about it?" God says "I'm going to take you to court and sue you". Satan says... "Where the fuck are you going to find a lawyer?" 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 29419 Posted August 31 Share Posted August 31 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 11111 Posted August 31 Share Posted August 31 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now