Monkeys Fist 42465 Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 Went to the doctor and said “ Doc, I keep thinking I’m a goat” Doc said “ How long have you felt this way?” “ Since I was a kid”. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 11404 Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 33270 Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 Can't remember if I've already told you about my Spanish mate who is the singer in a Kajagoogoo tribute act? Anyway, he's fucking brilliant, so good in fact, that once you've seen Juan you've seen Limahl. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 9785 Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 18 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: Went to the doctor and said “ Doc, I keep thinking I’m a goat” Doc said “ How long have you felt this way?” “ Since I was a kid”. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 9785 Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 5 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said: Can't remember if I've already told you about my Spanish mate who is the singer in a Kajagoogoo tribute act? Anyway, he's fucking brilliant, so good in fact, that once you've seen Juan you've seen Limahl. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 15552 Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 23 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: Went to the doctor and said “ Doc, I keep thinking I’m a goat” Doc said “ How long have you felt this way?” “ Since I was a kid”. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aimaad22 4156 Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 A Roman walks in to a bar and says “I’ll have a martinus.” The bartender says “you mean a martini?” The Roman replies “no, if I wanted a double I would have asked for one.” 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 9785 Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 8 minutes ago, aimaad22 said: A Roman walks in to a bar and says “I’ll have a martinus.” The bartender says “you mean a martini?” The Roman replies “no, if I wanted a double I would have asked for one.” 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 11404 Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 12 minutes ago, aimaad22 said: A Roman walks in to a bar and says “I’ll have a martinus.” The bartender says “you mean a martini?” The Roman replies “no, if I wanted a double I would have asked for one.” 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42465 Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 1 hour ago, aimaad22 said: A Roman walks in to a bar and says “I’ll have a martinus.” The bartender says “you mean a martini?” The Roman replies “no, if I wanted a double I would have asked for one.” Centurion walks in behind him, holds up two fingers and says ” Five beers please” 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 21959 Posted March 28 Author Share Posted March 28 has anyone heard about the man who fell in a well? i guess he couldn't see that well 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 35103 Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 13 minutes ago, Dr Gloom said: has anyone heard about the man who fell in a well? i guess he couldn't see that well 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42465 Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 26 minutes ago, Dr Gloom said: has anyone heard about the man who fell in a well? i guess he couldn't see that well Bugger! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aimaad22 4156 Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 1 hour ago, Dr Gloom said: has anyone heard about the man who fell in a well? i guess he couldn't see that well Must have been a real bore Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 11291 Posted March 29 Share Posted March 29 6 hours ago, Dr Gloom said: has anyone heard about the man who fell in a well? i guess he couldn't see that well 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 11291 Posted March 29 Share Posted March 29 11 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: Went to the doctor and said “ Doc, I keep thinking I’m a goat” Doc said “ How long have you felt this way?” “ Since I was a kid”. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42465 Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 A woman answers her phone and hears a deep voice with fast , heavy breathing say, " Have you got a fat ass?" The woman answers, "Hang on … @Christmas Tree , it’s for you pet" 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 30647 Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 A warning to all - be careful about drink driving as the police are out checking on people. Last night I was out for a few drinks and one thing led to another and I had a few too many, not a good idea & knowing I was over the limit, I decided to leave the car at the pub and took a bus home, I passed the police check point, where they were pulling over drivers and performing breath tests, because I was on a bus they just waved it past. I arrived home safely and no accidents, which was a real surprise because I have never driven a bus before… 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 11404 Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42465 Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 44 minutes ago, ewerk said: A warning to all - be careful about drink driving as the police are out checking on people. Last night I was out for a few drinks and one thing led to another and I had a few too many, not a good idea & knowing I was over the limit, I decided to leave the car at the pub and took a bus home, I passed the police check point, where they were pulling over drivers and performing breath tests, because I was on a bus they just waved it past. I arrived home safely and no accidents, which was a real surprise because I have never driven a bus before… 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 21959 Posted March 30 Author Share Posted March 30 Milk is the fastest liquid in the universe. Its pasteurised before you see it 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaddockLad 17286 Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 11 minutes ago, Dr Gloom said: Milk is the fastest liquid in the universe. Its pasteurised before you see it 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 11291 Posted March 31 Share Posted March 31 6 hours ago, Dr Gloom said: Milk is the fastest liquid in the universe. Its pasteurised before you see it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42465 Posted April 4 Share Posted April 4 So, this young shaver is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a suit, but there’s a long suit line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to book a limo. Unfortunately, there’s a large limo line at the rental office, but he’s patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table. There’s no punchline. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 9785 Posted April 4 Share Posted April 4 10 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: So, this young shaver is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a suit, but there’s a long suit line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to book a limo. Unfortunately, there’s a large limo line at the rental office, but he’s patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table. There’s no punchline. aah'l punch yee yi divvy. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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