Meenzer 16618 Posted January 24, 2024 Share Posted January 24, 2024 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 37147 Posted January 24, 2024 Share Posted January 24, 2024 5 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: A bear walks into a butchers to buy a steak.... The butcher is taken aback but gathers himself and says, "That'll be £60 sir". "Here you go", says the bear, paying with two £50 notes. "You know, we don't see many talking bears buying steaks and paying cash here”, says the butcher as he returns the change to the bear. Bear says, " I'm hardly fucking surprised at that price”. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 45838 Posted January 24, 2024 Share Posted January 24, 2024 5 minutes ago, Meenzer said: 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 45838 Posted January 24, 2024 Share Posted January 24, 2024 Just now, Howmanheyman said: Grin and bear it. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonpack 11810 Posted January 24, 2024 Share Posted January 24, 2024 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 37147 Posted January 24, 2024 Share Posted January 24, 2024 23 minutes ago, Toonpack said: "Fuck off." 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 45838 Posted January 24, 2024 Share Posted January 24, 2024 26 minutes ago, Toonpack said: Also 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 12182 Posted January 24, 2024 Share Posted January 24, 2024 3 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: A bear walks into a butchers to buy a steak.... The butcher is taken aback but gathers himself and says, "That'll be £60 sir". "Here you go", says the bear, paying with two £50 notes. "You know, we don't see many talking bears buying steaks and paying cash here”, says the butcher as he returns the change to the bear. Bear says, " I'm hardly fucking surprised at that price”. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 12669 Posted January 25, 2024 Share Posted January 25, 2024 12 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: How many Spaniards does it take to change a light bulb? Just Juan. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tdansmith 3260 Posted January 26, 2024 Share Posted January 26, 2024 Every year, Smitty and his wife Martha went to the State Fair. And every year, Smitty would say, “Martha, I’d like to ride in that there airplane.” And every year, Martha would reply, “I know, Smitty, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars.” This one year Smitty and Martha went to the fair and Smitty said, “Martha, I’m 71 years old. If I don’t ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance. ” Martha replied, “Smitty, that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars.” The pilot overheard them and said, “Folks, I’ll make you a deal. I’ll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won’t charge you, but if you say one word it’s ten dollars.” Smitty and Martha agreed, and up they went. The pilot performed all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard. He even does a nose dive, pulling up 15 feet above the ground, but still not a word. They land and the pilot turns to Smitty, “By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn’t.” Smitty replied, “Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, …but ten dollars is ten dollars!” 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tdansmith 3260 Posted January 26, 2024 Share Posted January 26, 2024 I asked my date to meet me at the gym. She never showed up. That’s how I knew we weren’t going to work out. 🤪 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 45838 Posted January 26, 2024 Share Posted January 26, 2024 7 minutes ago, Tdansmith said: I asked my date to meet me at the gym. She never showed up. That’s how I knew we weren’t going to work out. 🤪 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 12669 Posted January 27, 2024 Share Posted January 27, 2024 2 hours ago, Tdansmith said: I asked my date to meet me at the gym. She never showed up. That’s how I knew we weren’t going to work out. 🤪 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 11344 Posted January 29, 2024 Share Posted January 29, 2024 On 26/01/2024 at 23:42, Monkeys Fist said: What film is that from? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaddockLad 19330 Posted January 29, 2024 Share Posted January 29, 2024 3 minutes ago, The Fish said: What film is that from? Gregory’s Girl, the directors cut 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 11344 Posted January 29, 2024 Share Posted January 29, 2024 17 minutes ago, PaddockLad said: Gregory’s Girl, the directors cut You, sir, are a goddamn liar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaddockLad 19330 Posted January 29, 2024 Share Posted January 29, 2024 14 minutes ago, The Fish said: You, sir, are a goddamn liar. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 12669 Posted January 30, 2024 Share Posted January 30, 2024 15 hours ago, PaddockLad said: Gregory’s Girl, the directors cut Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 23962 Posted January 30, 2024 Author Share Posted January 30, 2024 On 19/01/2024 at 14:21, Gemmill said: This thread has basically become old man Facebook. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 23962 Posted January 30, 2024 Author Share Posted January 30, 2024 On 24/01/2024 at 17:36, Toonpack said: my wife threatened to leave me if I didn’t give up my disgusting habits. i was so surprised I almost spat out my toenails 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 12669 Posted January 30, 2024 Share Posted January 30, 2024 1 minute ago, Dr Gloom said: my wife threatened to leave me if I didn’t give up my disgusting habits. i was so surprised I almost spat out my toenails 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 45838 Posted January 30, 2024 Share Posted January 30, 2024 2 hours ago, Dr Gloom said: my wife threatened to leave me if I didn’t give up my disgusting habits. i was so surprised I almost spat out my toenails Mrs. F. told me if I didn’t stop quoting Oasis lyrics she’d be kicking me out She asked “ Is that what you want, Fist?” I said “Maybe”. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 7484 Posted January 30, 2024 Share Posted January 30, 2024 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 12182 Posted January 30, 2024 Share Posted January 30, 2024 26 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: Mrs. F. told me if I didn’t stop quoting Oasis lyrics she’d be kicking me out She asked “ Is that what you want, Fist?” I said “Maybe”. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 11344 Posted January 30, 2024 Share Posted January 30, 2024 50 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: Mrs. F. told me if I didn’t stop quoting Oasis lyrics she’d be kicking me out She asked “ Is that what you want, Fist?” I said “Maybe”. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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