RobinRobin 11263 Posted April 22, 2023 Share Posted April 22, 2023 11 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: ( I’ve translated these from the Ancient Sanskrit they were first written in). Shouldn't have bothered. Gloomy would've got there eventually 🙂 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 21915 Posted April 23, 2023 Author Share Posted April 23, 2023 My wife threatened to leave me because of my "filthy and disgusting habits". I was so shocked I nearly choked on my toenails. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42412 Posted April 23, 2023 Share Posted April 23, 2023 I got a call from the police saying the wife had been in a crash and was in hospital. I asked how she was and he said “ I’m afraid she’s critical” I said, “ Aye, tell me about it mate” 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 11263 Posted April 23, 2023 Share Posted April 23, 2023 1 hour ago, Dr Gloom said: My wife threatened to leave me because of my "filthy and disgusting habits". I was so shocked I nearly choked on my toenails. 1 hour ago, Monkeys Fist said: I got a call from the police saying the wife had been in a crash and was in hospital. I asked how she was and he said “ I’m afraid she’s critical” I said, “ Aye, tell me about it mate” 🙂 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blastronaut 1333 Posted April 24, 2023 Share Posted April 24, 2023 Guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey, and orders a beer. As he's drinking it the monkey jumps up in the pool table, picks up the cue ball and swallows it whole. Barman is raging, shouts at the man "did you see what your monkey just did?" Man shakes his head. "He just swallowed the cueball from the pool table!" Man replies "that doesn't surprise me, he eats nearly everything he sees", quickly finishes his drink and leaves. A week later he comes back to the same bar with the monkey, this time the monkey jumps up on the bar, finds a peanut and proceed to stick the peanut up it's arse, pull it back out and eat it. Barman is disgusted, shouts at the man "did you see what your monkey just did?" The man sighs "no, what did he do this time?" "It just stuck a peanut up it's arse, took it back out and swallowed it!" Man replies "that doesn't surprise me. He eats nearly everything he sees, but ever since the cue-ball he measures everything first" 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42412 Posted April 24, 2023 Share Posted April 24, 2023 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 21915 Posted April 28, 2023 Author Share Posted April 28, 2023 The wife just asked me if I had seen the dog bowl. I said no I didn’t know he could. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 11263 Posted April 29, 2023 Share Posted April 29, 2023 14 hours ago, Dr Gloom said: The wife just asked me if I had seen the dog bowl. I said no I didn’t know he could. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42412 Posted April 29, 2023 Share Posted April 29, 2023 My mam had a stroke yesterday. She’s got really soft hands. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 11263 Posted April 29, 2023 Share Posted April 29, 2023 And when you thought the tone couldn't get lower I give you MF 🙂 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42412 Posted April 29, 2023 Share Posted April 29, 2023 Miss Fist has asked me if I’ll do her hair Rasta style before her first festival this summer. I’m dreading it. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 11374 Posted April 29, 2023 Share Posted April 29, 2023 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 21915 Posted April 29, 2023 Author Share Posted April 29, 2023 4 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: Miss Fist has asked me if I’ll do her hair Rasta style before her first festival this summer. I’m dreading it. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 11263 Posted April 30, 2023 Share Posted April 30, 2023 12 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: Miss Fist has asked me if I’ll do her hair Rasta style before her first festival this summer. I’m dreading it. Just when things were looking up 🙂 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42412 Posted May 1, 2023 Share Posted May 1, 2023 Mick Jagger is having a hike through the Scottish Highlands, when he comes across a sheep straddling a local lad, giving him gyp. Mick says, ” Hey! Ewe! Get off McCloud!” 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 11374 Posted May 1, 2023 Share Posted May 1, 2023 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 33166 Posted May 1, 2023 Share Posted May 1, 2023 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 7083 Posted May 1, 2023 Share Posted May 1, 2023 Apparently MF has joined a local fisting group. He hopes to enlarge the circle of his friends. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42412 Posted May 1, 2023 Share Posted May 1, 2023 1 minute ago, trophyshy said: Apparently MF has joined a local fisting group. He hopes to enlarge the circle of his friends. All are welcome. If you wish to contribute to the weekly meetings just put your hand up. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 11263 Posted May 2, 2023 Share Posted May 2, 2023 4 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: All are welcome. If you wish to contribute to the weekly meetings just put your hand up. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 21915 Posted May 2, 2023 Author Share Posted May 2, 2023 10 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: All are welcome. If you wish to contribute to the weekly meetings just put your hand up. come one, come all., it won't just make day. it'll make your hole weak 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 11263 Posted May 2, 2023 Share Posted May 2, 2023 1 hour ago, Dr Gloom said: come one, come all., it won't just make day. it'll make your hole weak Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonpack 9399 Posted May 4, 2023 Share Posted May 4, 2023 How did Han Solo cross the road on Endor ?? Ewoked 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42412 Posted May 4, 2023 Share Posted May 4, 2023 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonpack 9399 Posted May 4, 2023 Share Posted May 4, 2023 The Norwegian navy have started putting bar codes on the sides of their ships, why you ask ? It’s so after a mission, they can Scandinavian 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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