PaddockLad 19433 Posted March 28, 2023 Share Posted March 28, 2023 On 28/03/2023 at 08:18, Monkeys Fist said: An Italian rabbit called Pierro hops in to the same bar and asks the barman for a cheese and onion toastie and a ham toastie. He eats them, leaving a terrible mess, and leaves. Next day, same thing, “ A cheese and onion toastie, and a ham toastie per favore” Eats, leaves an awful mess, buggers off. This goes on for days, until finally the barman has had enough, and this time gives him a cheese toastie, and a ham and onion toastie. Pierro hobbles in the next day, eyes swollen, terribly ill, and collapses in front of the bar. The horrified barman asks him what happened and, with last breath, Pierro raises his head and says “ You- you mix a ma toasties!” Expand I first heard that joke more than forty years ago. Please return it to the British Museum where it belongs 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 12747 Posted March 28, 2023 Share Posted March 28, 2023 On 28/03/2023 at 08:18, Monkeys Fist said: An Italian rabbit called Pierro hops in to the same bar and asks the barman for a cheese and onion toastie and a ham toastie. He eats them, leaving a terrible mess, and leaves. Next day, same thing, “ A cheese and onion toastie, and a ham toastie per favore” Eats, leaves an awful mess, buggers off. This goes on for days, until finally the barman has had enough, and this time gives him a cheese toastie, and a ham and onion toastie. Pierro hobbles in the next day, eyes swollen, terribly ill, and collapses in front of the bar. The horrified barman asks him what happened and, with last breath, Pierro raises his head and says “ You- you mix a ma toasties!” Expand 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 24047 Posted March 28, 2023 Author Share Posted March 28, 2023 Who hides in the bathroom at parties? The party-pooper. 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaddockLad 19433 Posted March 28, 2023 Share Posted March 28, 2023 I've been asked to lay new turf on a field for a civil war re-enactment battle. Sod that for a game of soldiers….. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 45902 Posted March 28, 2023 Share Posted March 28, 2023 On 28/03/2023 at 15:07, Dr Gloom said: Who hides in the bathroom at parties? The party-pooper. Expand Shite. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 12747 Posted March 29, 2023 Share Posted March 29, 2023 On 28/03/2023 at 15:07, Dr Gloom said: Who hides in the bathroom at parties? The party-pooper. Expand Got to be a shocker for MF to give it a Jaysus response 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 24047 Posted March 29, 2023 Author Share Posted March 29, 2023 What do you call sweaty boobs? Humidititties. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 45902 Posted March 29, 2023 Share Posted March 29, 2023 Better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 7507 Posted March 29, 2023 Share Posted March 29, 2023 On 28/03/2023 at 15:07, Dr Gloom said: Who hides in the bathroom at parties? The party-pooper. Expand Who always blocks the bog at parties? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 45902 Posted March 29, 2023 Share Posted March 29, 2023 On 29/03/2023 at 12:38, trophyshy said: Who always blocks the bog at parties? Expand Callum Mawson? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 24047 Posted March 29, 2023 Author Share Posted March 29, 2023 On 29/03/2023 at 12:38, trophyshy said: Who always blocks the bog at parties? Expand William Shitwell? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 12747 Posted March 30, 2023 Share Posted March 30, 2023 On 29/03/2023 at 12:36, Monkeys Fist said: Better. Expand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 37477 Posted March 30, 2023 Share Posted March 30, 2023 On 29/03/2023 at 12:38, trophyshy said: Who always blocks the bog at parties? Expand Jona Lewie? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 37490 Posted March 30, 2023 Share Posted March 30, 2023 On 30/03/2023 at 09:24, Alex said: Jona Lewie? Expand Eranu! The correct answer is Sam Allardyce. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 45902 Posted March 31, 2023 Share Posted March 31, 2023 I swapped our bed for a trampoline the other day. Mrs. F. hit the roof. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 11379 Posted March 31, 2023 Share Posted March 31, 2023 Don't worry, she'll bounce back. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 45902 Posted March 31, 2023 Share Posted March 31, 2023 Helvetica, New Roman and Comic Sans all walk in to a bar for a beer. Barman says “ Out, we don’t serve your type in here.” 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 24047 Posted March 31, 2023 Author Share Posted March 31, 2023 my friend worked at the zoo to circumcise elephants. the pay was bad but the tips were huge. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 37490 Posted March 31, 2023 Share Posted March 31, 2023 An oregano, a rosemary and a basil tried to get served late on but the barman said, 'sorry, thyme at the bar, please. Thyme at the bar' 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 45902 Posted March 31, 2023 Share Posted March 31, 2023 Bloke with amnesia walks up to a beautiful brunette at the bar and says ” Do I come here often?” 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 12171 Posted March 31, 2023 Share Posted March 31, 2023 On 31/03/2023 at 14:47, Howmanheyman said: An oregano, a rosemary and a basil tried to get served late on but the barman said, 'sorry, thyme at the bar, please. Thyme at the bar' Expand 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 24047 Posted April 1, 2023 Author Share Posted April 1, 2023 It's a 5 minute walk from my house to the pub, but a 45 minute walk from the pub to my house... The difference is staggering. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 24047 Posted April 1, 2023 Author Share Posted April 1, 2023 What do you call a naked bear? A bare. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 12171 Posted April 1, 2023 Share Posted April 1, 2023 On 01/04/2023 at 15:54, Dr Gloom said: What do you call a naked bear? A bare. Expand 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 45902 Posted April 1, 2023 Share Posted April 1, 2023 Bear walks in to a bar and says, ” I’ll have a pint of lager and… … a half of coke. “ Barman says, ” Sure, but what’s with the big pause?” Bear says, ” I’ve had them since birth.” 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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