trophyshy 7484 Posted March 12, 2022 Share Posted March 12, 2022 On 12/03/2022 at 23:16, Dr Gloom said: What colour is the wind? Blew Expand 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spongebob toonpants 4450 Posted March 13, 2022 Share Posted March 13, 2022 On 12/03/2022 at 23:16, Dr Gloom said: What colour is the wind? Blew Expand What's blue and can't sing? Blue 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 23963 Posted March 13, 2022 Author Share Posted March 13, 2022 I asked my friend Sam to sing a song about my new iPhone. Samsung Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 7484 Posted March 13, 2022 Share Posted March 13, 2022 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 23963 Posted March 13, 2022 Author Share Posted March 13, 2022 I just spotted an albino Dalmatian it was the least I could do to help 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 23963 Posted March 13, 2022 Author Share Posted March 13, 2022 Sorry not sorry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 45838 Posted March 13, 2022 Share Posted March 13, 2022 On 13/03/2022 at 08:03, spongebob toonpants said: What's blue and can't sing? Blue Expand What’s red and invisible? No cherry tomatoes 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 11348 Posted March 15, 2022 Share Posted March 15, 2022 On 13/03/2022 at 09:18, Dr Gloom said: Sorry not sorry Expand Loads of those books are filled with jokes that are lifted straight from comedians on twitter without crediting them. Is this book one of those books? Cos if it is, you're not allowed to enjoy it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 33655 Posted March 15, 2022 Share Posted March 15, 2022 'Royalty seeking Dave'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaddockLad 19340 Posted March 15, 2022 Share Posted March 15, 2022 “Comedy policeman Dave” 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 45838 Posted March 15, 2022 Share Posted March 15, 2022 On 15/03/2022 at 14:02, ewerk said: 'Royalty seeking Dave'. Expand Nah, he said comedians. You can have that one for free 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 37175 Posted April 3, 2022 Share Posted April 3, 2022 If the cunt who pinched my work's hi-viz vest from the washing line is reading this, you can run but you can't hide. 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 7484 Posted April 3, 2022 Share Posted April 3, 2022 You’ll get it sorted mate. Howmanheyman, don’t dream it’s over. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 16623 Posted April 3, 2022 Share Posted April 3, 2022 On 03/04/2022 at 11:36, trophyshy said: You’ll get it sorted mate. Howmanheyman, don’t dream it’s over. Expand How long have you been waiting to use that one? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 7484 Posted April 3, 2022 Share Posted April 3, 2022 On 03/04/2022 at 11:53, Meenzer said: How long have you been waiting to use that one? Expand About 3 weeks. I got sick of trying to crowbar it in. That’ll have to do. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 37175 Posted April 3, 2022 Share Posted April 3, 2022 He was going to say it three weeks ago but was tro-phy shy, hush, hush, eye to eye. (Getting my coat as you read this). 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 24199 Posted April 3, 2022 Share Posted April 3, 2022 On 03/04/2022 at 11:36, trophyshy said: You’ll get it sorted mate. Howmanheyman, don’t dream it’s over. Expand 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zzub 25 Posted April 10, 2022 Share Posted April 10, 2022 (edited) A man and wife go on a romantic weekend to a hotel. Their double room reservation has been messed up, and instead they are given an attic room with 2 single beds. There is a raised beam on the floor between the beds, which they have to step over to avoid stubbing their toes. When they go to bed, the husband switches the light off and says to his wife, “how about a bit of nookie then?”. She agrees and makes her way across the room in the dark and painfully stubs her toe on the raised beam. Her husband hears her shout in pain and comforts her by saying “oh diddums did you stub your little tootsie-wootsie, come and lie in my bed and let me rub it better for you”. She lies next to him in bed, and they spend the next hour having wonderful sex. The wife then gets out of bed and starts to cross the room to return to her bed and stubs here toe on the raised beam again. On hearing her shout with pain again, her husband says “Jesus, can’t you pick your fucking feet up!" Edited April 10, 2022 by zzub Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 37302 Posted April 10, 2022 Share Posted April 10, 2022 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 45838 Posted April 10, 2022 Share Posted April 10, 2022 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 37175 Posted April 10, 2022 Share Posted April 10, 2022 "Flippin 'eck!" 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 37302 Posted April 10, 2022 Share Posted April 10, 2022 On 10/04/2022 at 15:09, zzub said: A man and wife go on a romantic weekend to a hotel. Their double room reservation has been messed up, and instead they are given an attic room with 2 single beds. There is a raised beam on the floor between the beds, which they have to step over to avoid stubbing their toes. When they go to bed, the husband switches the light off and says to his wife, “how about a bit of nookie then?”. She agrees and makes her way across the room in the dark and painfully stubs her toe on the raised beam. Her husband hears her shout in pain and comforts her by saying “oh diddums did you stub your little tootsie-wootsie, come and lie in my bed and let me rub it better for you”. She lies next to him in bed, and they spend the next hour having wonderful sex. The wife then gets out of bed and starts to cross the room to return to her bed and stubs here toe on the raised beam again. On hearing her shout with pain again, her husband says “Jesus, can’t you pick your fucking feet up!" Expand If you’re a mackem having a go at Chris Wood I’ll change my mind and declare this a work of beautifully subtle genius 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 16623 Posted April 10, 2022 Share Posted April 10, 2022 On 10/04/2022 at 15:09, zzub said: A man and wife go on a romantic weekend to a hotel. Their double room reservation has been messed up, and instead they are given an attic room with 2 single beds. There is a raised beam on the floor between the beds, which they have to step over to avoid stubbing their toes. When they go to bed, the husband switches the light off and says to his wife, “how about a bit of nookie then?”. She agrees and makes her way across the room in the dark and painfully stubs her toe on the raised beam. Her husband hears her shout in pain and comforts her by saying “oh diddums did you stub your little tootsie-wootsie, come and lie in my bed and let me rub it better for you”. She lies next to him in bed, and they spend the next hour having wonderful sex. The wife then gets out of bed and starts to cross the room to return to her bed and stubs here toe on the raised beam again. On hearing her shout with pain again, her husband says “Jesus, can’t you pick your fucking feet up!" Expand 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 12088 Posted April 11, 2022 Share Posted April 11, 2022 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 11348 Posted April 12, 2022 Share Posted April 12, 2022 Comedy Dave doesn't seem so bad after all, now does he? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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