Dr Gloom 24047 Posted June 8, 2020 Author Share Posted June 8, 2020 i love that sort of joke. so crap it's good Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 45903 Posted June 8, 2020 Share Posted June 8, 2020 I took my canoe out on the sea the other day, when loads of pork started floating by. I thought, “Best head in, it’s getting a bit choppy” 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 12172 Posted June 8, 2020 Share Posted June 8, 2020 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 45903 Posted June 11, 2020 Share Posted June 11, 2020 Italian bloke rings the docs for a medical, and is asked to bring a specimen with him. “ ‘Ow am I gonna do tha? I don’t know any astronauts!” I Thangew. 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 12747 Posted June 12, 2020 Share Posted June 12, 2020 On 11/06/2020 at 14:58, Monkeys Fist said: Italian bloke rings the docs for a medical, and is asked to bring a specimen with him. “ ‘Ow am I gonna do tha? I don’t know any astronauts!” I Thangew. Expand Razzista! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 37502 Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 Mate was on the phone telling me he failed his Australian aboriginal music course he'd been taking. 'Didgeridoo it?' I asked him. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 16656 Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 Strewth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 37502 Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 On 28/06/2020 at 17:40, Meenzer said: Strewth. Expand My Sheila just told me it, sport. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 51689 Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 Tell her to rack off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 37502 Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 On 28/06/2020 at 18:17, Gemmill said: Tell her to rack off. Expand You tell her..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 33741 Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 That’s a niche kink there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 45903 Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 On 28/06/2020 at 18:59, ewerk said: That’s a niche kink there. Expand Ken’s missus told him she was blowing aboriginal tubes before she upped and left. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 12172 Posted August 29, 2020 Share Posted August 29, 2020 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 12172 Posted October 19, 2020 Share Posted October 19, 2020 What are Michael Jackson's pronouns? He/He 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl 175 Posted October 19, 2020 Share Posted October 19, 2020 My lass just asked me what I was doing on the computer. I said, "Looking for cheap flights." She got very excited and said, "I love you," then got on her knees & gave me the best blow job I've ever had... Which surprised me as she's never been interested in darts before! 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 45903 Posted October 19, 2020 Share Posted October 19, 2020 I rang the tinnitus helpline last night but they were no help, they didn’t even answer- it just kept ringing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 12172 Posted October 19, 2020 Share Posted October 19, 2020 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 37502 Posted October 19, 2020 Share Posted October 19, 2020 On 19/10/2020 at 17:29, Carl said: My lass just asked me what I was doing on the computer. I said, "Looking for cheap flights." She got very excited and said, "I love you," then got on her knees & gave me the best blow job I've ever had... Which surprised me as she's never been interested in darts before! Expand On my wedding day my best man said, 'I know you're getting married, but that's one massive grin on your face!' I told him my soon to be new bride had sneaked round the night before and gave me the best blow job of my life. 'Jammy bastard' he replied. Five mins earlier the chief bridesmaid mentioned how happy my soon to be wife was looking. 'I popped round his last night and gave him the last blow of his life!' she beamed. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 45903 Posted October 19, 2020 Share Posted October 19, 2020 My lad asked if chickens like music… “ Yes son, they like Classical music” ” Really Dad, who’s their favourite composer?” ” Bach Bach Bach Bach Bach” 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 12747 Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 On 19/10/2020 at 21:39, Monkeys Fist said: My lad asked if chickens like music… “ Yes son, they like Classical music” ” Really Dad, who’s their favourite composer?” ” Bach Bach Bach Bach Bach” Expand 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 12172 Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 On 19/10/2020 at 21:39, Monkeys Fist said: My lad asked if chickens like music… “ Yes son, they like Classical music” ” Really Dad, who’s their favourite composer?” ” Bach Bach Bach Bach Bach” Expand 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 24047 Posted October 20, 2020 Author Share Posted October 20, 2020 On 19/10/2020 at 18:03, Monkeys Fist said: I rang the tinnitus helpline last night but they were no help, they didn’t even answer- it just kept ringing. Expand 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 24047 Posted October 20, 2020 Author Share Posted October 20, 2020 what do you do if you see a spaceman? park in it man 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 33741 Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 45903 Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 I walked in on the Mrs. banging her personal trainer last night. I said “ I’m leaving, this just isn’t working out” 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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