Sex, drugs and sausage rolls

[donaldstott 0]

Yet another setup if you ask me, all the shite lately has been one South Shields family working themselves with Carroll over his ex. That whole story reads like its been staged, the girls took photos and from the way it reads, recorded half of it on their phones.

 

Hes being setup again and poor Nolan has been dragged into it, which frankly is his own stupid fault.

 

this was going thru my head too.

[Holden McGroin 6456]

Fucking class story. They have both gone up in my estimation now.

[Barney 0]

Sounds like Stevies work Christmas party.

 

Only person in bother here is Nolan with his missus.

[jaythesouthernmag 0]

I'm not a slut I've got a boyfriend, LOL.

 

Bet anyone who's Mrs went out in a catsuit will be asking a few questions

 

Nice one Andy bag a couple today to round off a good week

[Wavey Davey 0]

[harrynufc 0]

OH DEAR! just got up and seen this headline. Hope this doesnt affect their game today. TBH, i expected more from Nolan. My nephew recently got Nolans name on the back of his shirt, and this isnt exactly sending out the right message.

[Ketsbaia 0]

OH DEAR! just got up and seen this headline. Hope this doesnt affect their game today. TBH, i expected more from Nolan. My nephew recently got Nolans name on the back of his shirt, and this isnt exactly sending out the right message.

 

What? Falling asleep on the sofa while your best mate gives some slapper a seeing to? I know, if he had anything about him he'd be stuck in to one of the other lasses.

[Ayatollah Hermione 13762]

Fucking class story. They have both gone up in my estimation now.

 

Too rights. My desire to have a pint with Nolan has doubled now.

[Dr Kenneth Noisewater 0]

Sounds like a belting night.

When I read the first three or four sentences I thought oh dear but it's nee Woodgate.

 

 

FYP

[Tom 14011]

It does sound a canny night like.

[harrynufc 0]

OH DEAR! just got up and seen this headline. Hope this doesnt affect their game today. TBH, i expected more from Nolan. My nephew recently got Nolans name on the back of his shirt, and this isnt exactly sending out the right message.

 

What? Falling asleep on the sofa while your best mate gives some slapper a seeing to? I know, if he had anything about him he'd be stuck in to one of the other lasses.

 

Letting carroll bring home 3 girls for a sexy orgy and cocaine night, knowing full well that carroll was told to stay with him because hes seen as a mature and responsible character by the courts/club/supporters etc. Also knowing that his wife wasnt happy in the first place about carroll moving in, you really think this was the best idea.

[Ketsbaia 0]

OH DEAR! just got up and seen this headline. Hope this doesnt affect their game today. TBH, i expected more from Nolan. My nephew recently got Nolans name on the back of his shirt, and this isnt exactly sending out the right message.

 

What? Falling asleep on the sofa while your best mate gives some slapper a seeing to? I know, if he had anything about him he'd be stuck in to one of the other lasses.

 

Letting carroll bring home 3 girls for a sexy orgy and cocaine night, knowing full well that carroll was told to stay with him because hes seen as a mature and responsible character by the courts/club/supporters etc. Also knowing that his wife wasnt happy in the first place about carroll moving in, you really think this was the best idea.

 

But there wasn't an orgy and it's debatable whether they even knew there was cocaine in the house

[ChezGiven 0]

OH DEAR! just got up and seen this headline. Hope this doesnt affect their game today. TBH, i expected more from Nolan. My nephew recently got Nolans name on the back of his shirt, and this isnt exactly sending out the right message.

 

What? Falling asleep on the sofa while your best mate gives some slapper a seeing to? I know, if he had anything about him he'd be stuck in to one of the other lasses.

 

Letting carroll bring home 3 girls for a sexy orgy and cocaine night, knowing full well that carroll was told to stay with him because hes seen as a mature and responsible character by the courts/club/supporters etc. Also knowing that his wife wasnt happy in the first place about carroll moving in, you really think this was the best idea.

 

Fuck me. Have you had News International implants?

[harrynufc 0]

OH DEAR! just got up and seen this headline. Hope this doesnt affect their game today. TBH, i expected more from Nolan. My nephew recently got Nolans name on the back of his shirt, and this isnt exactly sending out the right message.

 

What? Falling asleep on the sofa while your best mate gives some slapper a seeing to? I know, if he had anything about him he'd be stuck in to one of the other lasses.

 

Letting carroll bring home 3 girls for a sexy orgy and cocaine night, knowing full well that carroll was told to stay with him because hes seen as a mature and responsible character by the courts/club/supporters etc. Also knowing that his wife wasnt happy in the first place about carroll moving in, you really think this was the best idea.

 

But there wasn't an orgy and it's debatable whether they even knew there was cocaine in the house

 

Ok, you're right, Nolan and Carroll were probably oblivious to what was going on.

[JawD 99]

OH DEAR! just got up and seen this headline. Hope this doesnt affect their game today. TBH, i expected more from Nolan. My nephew recently got Nolans name on the back of his shirt, and this isnt exactly sending out the right message.

 

What? Falling asleep on the sofa while your best mate gives some slapper a seeing to? I know, if he had anything about him he'd be stuck in to one of the other lasses.

 

Letting carroll bring home 3 girls for a sexy orgy and cocaine night, knowing full well that carroll was told to stay with him because hes seen as a mature and responsible character by the courts/club/supporters etc. Also knowing that his wife wasnt happy in the first place about carroll moving in, you really think this was the best idea.

 

But there wasn't an orgy and it's debatable whether they even knew there was cocaine in the house

 

Ok, you're right, Nolan and Carroll were probably oblivious to what was going on.

 

Dont get sucked in by it.

[Jimbo 172]

Official club statement:

 

The Club notes the story in News Of The World today and has passed the matter to its legal advisers.

Both Kevin Nolan and Andy Carroll categorically deny having any knowledge that drugs had been brought onto the premises and are pleased that the paper does not even allege that they were aware of the presence of drugs.

 

Neither player would ever contemplate taking drugs or condone the use of such substances.

The Club and the players named are sure that if the editor felt his story had any truth he would already have reported this to the police.

The Club and the players named will be happy to cooperate fully with any police investigation.

[shackbleep 0]

OH DEAR! just got up and seen this headline. Hope this doesnt affect their game today. TBH, i expected more from Nolan. My nephew recently got Nolans name on the back of his shirt, and this isnt exactly sending out the right message.

 

What? Falling asleep on the sofa while your best mate gives some slapper a seeing to? I know, if he had anything about him he'd be stuck in to one of the other lasses.

 

Letting carroll bring home 3 girls for a sexy orgy and cocaine night, knowing full well that carroll was told to stay with him because hes seen as a mature and responsible character by the courts/club/supporters etc. Also knowing that his wife wasnt happy in the first place about carroll moving in, you really think this was the best idea.

 

What's totally laughable at your stance on this one is that you'd advocate Obafemi Martins still being at the club! What Carroll got up to is tame by comparison man!

[Monroe Transfer 0]

http://www.skysports.com/story/0,19528,11095_6492861,00.html

 

Note the sub-headline.

[peasepud 59]

http://www.skysports.com/story/0,19528,11095_6492861,00.html

 

Note the sub-headline.

 

[The Fish 10674]

http://www.skysports.com/story/0,19528,11095_6492861,00.html

 

Note the sub-headline.

 

 

oh dear

[JonTheMag 4]

Do they not fucking know what condone means? Dickheads.

[JamesD 0]

http://www.skysports.com/story/0,19528,11095_6492861,00.html

 

Note the sub-headline.

 

[OTF 7215]

Midfielder Joey Barton added on Sky Sports: "We've had our knockers and we'll continue to get them but it just makes the group stronger and everyone's 110% behind every other player..."

 

I'm not quite sure whether Barton is talking about Kevin Nolan getting pictures on his phone, Andy Carroll being ridden in the pool room, or just the team in general.

 

Whatever the case

[ChezGiven 0]

Midfielder Joey Barton added on Sky Sports: "We've had our knockers and we'll continue to get them but it just makes the group stronger and everyone's 110% behind every other player..."

 

I'm not quite sure whether Barton is talking about Kevin Nolan getting pictures on his phone, Andy Carroll being ridden in the pool room, or just the team in general.

 

Whatever the case

 

Did you hear Richard Keys afterwards? "What was Joey Barton saying, nobody has been criticising Newcastle have they?"

[shackbleep 0]

This Is Why People Hate The Press

 

Ladies and Gentleman, Mr Iain MacIntosh.

 

I’ve been married for almost a year, so there’s a fair chance that I’ve lost touch with the…erm…ins and outs of modern sexual etiquette. Doubtless since I took my vows, you’re all sticking it in each other’s ears or something. I thought I was fairly clear on the basics though. An orgy, for example. I always thought an orgy was when lots of people had sex. Like, loads. Arms, legs and fleshy bits all clattering off each other like a poltergeist was loose in a butcher’s shop. I didn’t realise that an orgy now meant ‘unmarried man having sex with unmarried woman with another unmarried woman going upstairs later and we don’t know if she joined in or not she might have just watched’.

 

The News of the World’s ‘cocaine and sex orgy’ story, written with the clear intention of annihilating Kevin Nolan’s marriage and further destroying Andy Carroll’s burgeoning career, has to be the most startling non-story in the recent history of mainstream media, doesn’t it? No, actually. That accolade is reserved for The Sun who followed their sister paper’s example with the revelations that the hooker at the centre of the Wayne Rooney scandal had been texting naughty pictures of herself to Nolan’s mobile phone. Oooh! That’s news, isn’t it? No. No, it’s not. It’s olds. Hidden away in the text of The Sun’s story were a few important details that weren’t included in the headline. Like the fact that the texting took place in 2007. Before Nolan was married. So, the story is basically, ‘unmarried man gets nudey snaps of disconcertingly mannish bird with obvious daddy issues.’ Christ on a bike. But, back to the orgy.

 

If you’ve just spanked your rivals like a naughty puppy, I reckon you deserve to go out and cut loose for a bit and the Newcastle lads did it properly. They took their security man, they didn’t break anything and Andy Carroll managed to last the WHOLE night without getting arrested. I’d say it went pretty well. Granted, I don’t think my missus would be too happy if I brought three young floozies back to my house after a night out, but that’s pretty much the most nefarious thing that’s happened here. Married man makes decision that will put him in the doghouse. Hold the front page!

 

The cocaine angle is my favourite bit. Cocaine shame of Newcastle players! Except, you know, they didn’t actually do any cocaine. The girls might have done. Nobody really knows. So it’s a cocaine orgy that wasn’t an orgy and the key protagonists didn’t take cocaine.

 

This isn’t an empty rant against the media machine, not least because in a very small and inconsequential way, I’m a part of it. There are genuine reasons to execute this kind of story. The press have an obligation to expose anyone who uses a false perception to influence or profit. That was the case with John Terry when his representatives were touting him for sponsorship deals on the basis of, among other things, his being ‘Father Of The Year’. It’s the same with Wayne Rooney, who sold pictures of his wedding to OK Magazine. If you profit from the perception that you’re happily married, you have to expect to be taken down if you go whoring. But for the life of me, I can’t see what poor old Nolan has done to invite this kind of hatchet job and, while Carroll may or may not have done naughty things in the past, he didn’t do any of them after Newcastle beat Sunderland. This is a crappy story with no justification and it makes all journalists look bad. No wonder people hate the press so much.

 

Iain is the UK Football Correspondent for The New Paper (Singapore). You can follow him on Twitter @iainmacintosh.

 

http://inbedwithmaradona.com/this-is-why-p...hate-the-press/

 

Fucking spot on!