BastianSchweinsteiger 0 Posted November 28, 2005 Share Posted November 28, 2005 A Vietnamese child approaches her mother and asks her, "Mother, I've heard that different countries like to decorate their houses with different things at Chirstmas- The British decorate their houses with lights and the French lay Wreath all around the house, but what are we going to do?", to which the mother replies.. "We're hanging Glitter." (Yeah, I know it's death by 'firing squad' for all you pedantics out there!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lou 0 Posted November 28, 2005 Share Posted November 28, 2005 Check out the Bad Taste Jokes thread........! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Manson 0 Posted November 28, 2005 Share Posted November 28, 2005 Check out the Bad Taste Jokes thread........! 62280[/snapback] Bet you couldn't wait to use it again eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lou 0 Posted November 28, 2005 Share Posted November 28, 2005 I just sit in wait to be able to use it, it has to be said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Kenneth Noisewater 0 Posted November 28, 2005 Share Posted November 28, 2005 Good Joke Hello, is that the trades description people..? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BastianSchweinsteiger 0 Posted November 28, 2005 Author Share Posted November 28, 2005 OK, Here's another kiddies! Doctor: I've got some good news and some bad news, george. George Best: OK, let's have the bad news first. Doctor: You only have an hour to live. George: Oh, shit! What's the good news then? Doctor: It's happy hour! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mags 1 Posted November 28, 2005 Share Posted November 28, 2005 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lou 0 Posted November 28, 2005 Share Posted November 28, 2005 (edited) OK, Here's another kiddies! Doctor: I've got some good news and some bad news, george. George Best: OK, let's have the bad news first. Doctor: You only have an hour to live. George: Oh, shit! What's the good news then? Doctor: It's happy hour! 62290[/snapback] You realise that it's tragedy PLUS TIME = comedy, right?? I don't think a couple of days really counts as being enough of a PLUS TIME in this equation. Plus, it helps if the joke's actually good to start with (PS - Mags - love it!!) Edited November 28, 2005 by Lou Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10659 Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 I thought Tragedy Plus Time= political ammunition it was my understanding that Dwarves + angered pit vipers = comedy.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sammynb 3342 Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 WOMAN'S DIARY v MEN'S DIARY WOMAN'S DIARY: Thursday 20th Sept 2005 Saw him in the evening and he was acting really strangely. I'd been shopping in the afternoon with the girls and was a bit late meeting him - thought it might be that. The bar was really crowded and loud, so I suggested we go somewhere quieter to talk. He was still very subdued and distracted so I suggested we went somewhere nice to eat. All through dinner he just didn't seem himself - he hardly laughed and didn't seem to be paying any attention to me or to what I was saying. I just knew that something was wrong. He dropped me back home and I wondered if he was going to come in. He hesitated but followed. I asked him what was wrong, but he just half shook his head and turned the television on. After about ten minutes of silence I said that I was going upstairs to bed. I put my arms around him and told him that I loved him deeply. He just gave a sigh and a sad sort of smile. He didn't follow me up immediately but came up later and, to my surprise, we made love - but he still seemed distant and a bit cold. Cried myself to sleep -I think he's planning to leave me - maybe he's found someone else. MAN'S DIARY: Thursday, 20th September 2005 Toon lost. Gutted. Got a shag though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peasepud 59 Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 MAN'S DIARY: Thursday, 20th September 2005 Toon lost. Gutted. Got a shag though. 62307[/snapback] Toon playing on a Thursday? this season? [/pedant] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sammynb 3342 Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 MAN'S DIARY: Thursday, 20th September 2005 Toon lost. Gutted. Got a shag though. 62307[/snapback] Toon playing on a Thursday? this season? [/pedant] 62316[/snapback] It's Tuesday and I'm still gutted about Sunday's performance! [/reality] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peasepud 59 Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 MAN'S DIARY: Thursday, 20th September 2005 Toon lost. Gutted. Got a shag though. 62307[/snapback] Toon playing on a Thursday? this season? [/pedant] 62316[/snapback] It's Tuesday and I'm still gutted about Sunday's performance! [/reality] 62317[/snapback] but in your diary for today you would put "still gutted over Sunday" not "Toon lost". [/arguing pedantically for the hell of it] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sammynb 3342 Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 (edited) MAN'S DIARY: Thursday, 20th September 2005 Toon lost. Gutted. Got a shag though. 62307[/snapback] Toon playing on a Thursday? this season? [/pedant] 62316[/snapback] It's Tuesday and I'm still gutted about Sunday's performance! [/reality] 62317[/snapback] but in your diary for today you would put "still gutted over Sunday" not "Toon lost". [/arguing pedantically for the hell of it] 62318[/snapback] True. But let's be honest pud, some on here would be so confused if they got a shag that they wouldn't know what day it was anyway [/reality check] Edited November 29, 2005 by sammynb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peasepud 59 Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 aye you've got me there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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