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The Secret Diary of Lee Ryder (aged 44 and a half)


Craig
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Big news for all fans of the North East Regional Sports Reporter of the Year 2014

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Sign up for Lee Ryder's new weekly Newcastle United newsletter

Our Chief Newcastle United Writer Lee Ryder is launching an exclusive weekly newsletter. Here's what he has to say on what subscribers can expect:

"It feels like the right time to launch my exclusive newsletter, something I've wanted to do for a while.

"As we start a whole new era at Saudi-backed Newcastle United this is your opportunity to get up close and personal at the very beginning of a new exciting chapter.

"If you are a follower of me on Twitter or Facebook, you will know all about the type of coverage I aim to provide, right across the board from first-team to Under-23s and the club's Academy side.

"I'll now be looking to take you even closer to what goes on behind the scenes at the club, and give you the story behind the story as well as talking to as many of the cast of characters at St James' Park as possible."

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1 hour ago, Dr Gloom said:

Big news for all fans of the North East Regional Sports Reporter of the Year 2014

1_JS103271679.jpg

Sign up for Lee Ryder's new weekly Newcastle United newsletter

Our Chief Newcastle United Writer Lee Ryder is launching an exclusive weekly newsletter. Here's what he has to say on what subscribers can expect:

"It feels like the right time to launch my exclusive newsletter, something The editor, Helen Dalby has wanted me to do for a while but ah've obviously waylaid her as ah couldn't be arsed. (Ah'd fucking love to lay'a, though, lol)."

"As we start a whole new era at Saudi-backed Newcastle United this is your opportunity to get up close and personal at the very beginning of a new exciting chapter.

"If you are a follower of me on Twitter or Facebook, you will know all about the type of coverage I aim to provide, right across the board from first-team to Under-23s and the club's Academy side to the songs the fans sing at the games and what Amanda and Mehrdad are wearing as they watch the lads at the cathedral on the hill."

"I'll now be looking to take you even closer to what goes on behind the scenes at the club, and give you the story behind the story as well as talking to as many of the cast of characters at St James' Park as possible. Ah've always got on with Sean Longstaff and ever since Remi Street and 'shyboy' Stevie Taylor left the building, he's been the Knight's number one 'current' player for inside info. Ah'll also let yiz ah'll knaa the crack from all the ex players like Quinny, Nobby and old Walker star from THAT season that nearly was, Lee Clark. If it's in black and white, the Knight has it covered. Laters, Ryder and fucking out!"

Sounds canny, I'll give it a look. :good:

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56 minutes ago, Alex said:

Hope he follows it up with a leaflet campaign 

 

47 minutes ago, Dr Gloom said:

looking forward to the story behind the story behind the leaflet campaign. bound to be a page-turner 

"Well diary, ah was the victim of a honey trap, the other day. Hell's Bells the editor asked me to drop in to see her and ah was positive it was a response to the 'meebees meet up for a drink after work?' line ah gave her last week. Nee such luck, she's mentioned a few times about us doing newsletters to help the sinking Ronny Gill get traffic but ah'd managed to evade it like a dropped shoulder from one Peter Beardsley once of the shrine of St. James' Park but this time she had iz by the balls but not in the way ah'd invisag, invisual, err saw coming. After agreeing to do it she then suggested ah put out a leaflet campaign to promote it as not ah'll me loyal punters were on social media. Being an intrepid reporter you get to basically be a manager as well so ah got on the phone to an old mate, 'Hoppalong' who worked at an employment agency, he didn't have a limp or owt, his name was Davey Cassidy, and asked him to supply is with a kid forra day just to deliver the leaflets. Ah'd given him the email address for accounts to bill and made it known ah'd be expecting a couple of pints 'Holy Peroni' from him next time ah seen him in the club for the business ah was putting his way. Anyways, eventually a kid gets sent up from reception and ah asked his name? 'Wazis' he gans. Ah laughed and said "wos-zeeze? They're fucking leaflets you're going to deliver forriz, wor kid!" and had a little chuckle whilst my former apprentice, Chris Waugh who'd popped in to say hello shook his head. Even now he's left for the athletic he probably still can't believe the craic he used to get here. Anyways, later on that day there was a complaint from some miserable cunt from the coast saying some kid had dumped a big bag of leaflets in his front garden and it was attracting a load of seagulls. Y'knaa what it fucking is?! Hoppalong must've sent the first useless cunt he had who couldn't even talk English and he'd took the bit and just dumped my stuff first opportunity. Ah half admired his style to be honest so ah said fuck ah'll to Hoppalong, telt Hell's Bells it'd been sorted then quickly typed oot some generic shite for the newsletter and was in the club at seven bells waiting for a certain Mr Cassidy to hit the mahogany and get me a pint or two! Lol. Contacts, yiv gotta have friends with fucking dividends. Laters."

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  • 2 months later...
On 20/01/2022 at 08:53, Monkeys Fist said:

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 I called him bald on Twitter once. I can't remember why but I'm sure he deserved it. He replied saying he wasn't bald and just chooses to shave his head. I replied with "whey aye 😂" and he blocked me.

 

Middle aged and telling bare faces lies about being a baldy :lol: 

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1 hour ago, ewerk said:

Lee does not look amused at being stopped for a photo on his way out of the shitter just before closing time.

I’d say, judging by the sweaty forehead, he’s on his way in. 

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8 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said:

I’d say, judging by the sweaty forehead, he’s on his way in. 

"Looka, young'un, be fucking quick, the gorilla's finger is popping oot, cabiche, wor kid?"

 

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