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The Secret Diary of Lee Ryder (aged 44 and a half)


Craig
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  • 4 weeks later...

"As the clamour grows on Tyneside to get the signing of Joe Willock from London over the line a certain Geremi also from a London club was making that same journey seventeen years ago from Chelsea and swapping the special one for the one you've got to come back for like the McEwan's best scotch advert where the Geordie lad with the Chris Waddle perm comes over the Tyne on a train home looking at the Tyne bridge."

 

Lee 'knight' Ryder TMGRSWY.

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2 hours ago, Howmanheyman said:

You know these people with stuff like BA (Hons) MBE, OBE, and stuff like that at the end of their names? The Knight is no different. :good:

The Knight is definitely a man of letters…

 

…” Letters have a large doner, extra meat, nee rabbit food, and divvent be shy with the chips either Stavros, lolz!” 

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41 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said:

The Knight is definitely a man of letters…

 

…” Letters have a large doner, extra meat, nee rabbit food, and divvent be shy with the chips either Stavros, lolz!” 

"Chilli sauce or garlic, Mr Ryder?"

 

"Are ya having a laugh, Mehmet? Fucking garlic or chilli? Chilli sauce and mek it extra hot because the Knight's nee puff. Garlic on a kebab? Might as well hoy ice cream on it anahl! Remember when Souness stuck his flag on your pitch? That's like you asking me if ah want chilli or garlic sauce! Lol. Laters, Mehmet. Oh, by the way, nice to see yiv still got that signed phurto of Emre ah got you. Contacts, son, yiv got to have fucking contacts. Up here for thinking, doon there for dancing."

Lee-Ryder (1)__01.jpg

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"Fucking pissing mesel laughing here, like. Ah love the lads, they're ah'll decent kids but yiv got to have done the hard yards up and doon the A1 as part of the 'Toon army' to knaa the score and what the punters want. There'd be fucking H on to be honest with me not getting nominated but Helen Dalby told iz years ago when ah kicked off that ah'd alwiz win it every year so they had to let the other lads have a go but ah had to keep it to mesel so's not to dent their confidence. She even give iz a wink which ah'm fucking sure wasn't just a conspiryan, conspiratery, err not just about this little secret, think it was also a subtle hint that the sword of Ryder might be getting to know the front garden of Dalby if you knaa what ah mean? Lol! Anyways, like the kid who comes last on sports day ah hope they enjoy their token reward. (Ah don't think ah'll come last tbh if me and Hels get it on as ah've had a bit of a lean spell with the fanny because of lockdown an that otherwise yi tahlkin hours!) Laters, Ryder and fucking out!"

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  • 2 weeks later...

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