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The Secret Diary of Lee Ryder (aged 44 and a half)


Craig
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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...

Haven't read his chronicle article on the 'major reshuffle' but the twitter replies from the punters who've read and laughed at it plus the Knight sticking up for his story are pure Ryder-esque. :lol:

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19 hours ago, Dr Gloom said:

Love how he is so thin-skinned that he takes the time to reply to each and every troll out there 

You’ve missed the point of the article, which thousands have read. 

 

 

 

 

:D

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:lol: He’s thick as fuck, man. Basically reasoning that the article is of interest because people have read it and seemingly unable to process the information that people would have needed to read it first before deciding if it’s saying anything worthwhile. 

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On 25/03/2019 at 13:14, Dr Gloom said:

Love how he is so thin-skinned that he takes the time to reply to each and every troll out there 

It’s barely trolling. It’s pointing out the obvious :lol: 

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  • 2 months later...

I think he’s done a Luke Edwards- him and Cock-eyed Mala went to Haggerstone Castle for a Northern Soul weekender and were last seen entering a caravan with two land whales from Wigan. 

 

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The secret diary of Lee Ryder (aged 44 and a half)

 

Transcript of live feed Twitter broadcast. (Edited by the evening chronicle)

 

Lee Ryder: "Welcome to our outside broadcast and today we're in the sweltering heat and absolute vastness of the Arabian desert to discuss the s**t hot news of the takeover at Newcastle United football club. I've flew out here to dig deep and find out about the movers and shakers but am taking time out to answer all my loyal punters questions at this crazy time in magpies history. Fire away!"

 

Troopz1967: " I've heard it's all a parcel of s***e and fatty is even now chiselling all the lead off the pipes in St James' park to sell at the quayside market."

 

Lee Ryder: "Alright, Troopz? Troopz, let me tell you, some of my sources here in Abu Dubai are Adam and the ants it's all happening, wor kid."

 

MalcolmNUFC: "Have you got to any of them harem's yet you dirty c**t? Giddup!"

 

Lee Ryder: "Not now, Mala, I'll bell you after. Laters."

 

ChristmasTree@clubtropicana: "Will the Sheikh open up a fans social club?"

 

Lee Ryder: "My sources say there'll be massive investment not just in the playing staff but also in the community. Get the domino cards at the ready, Christmas Tree!"

 

AntCOYBIG@TaytoCastle: "Sure I'm not even from Newcastle but I can see Tynemouth Priory in the background. You're not in the middle east."

 

LeazesLad: "It's DEFINITELY King Edward's bay. What a weapons grade f*** nugget this kid is. You could pick 100 random people in the toon and they'd have more clue than you. Not even joking."

 

Lee Ryder: "Err, I can see your confusion, Ant. That's not Tynemouth priory, and I'm not on the beach at King Edward's bay, I'm in the middle east in the desert and that's an, err, old French foreign legion fort that was over ran by Arab warriors in 1865 or something."

 

Josh@ThomsonHouseaccountsdept: "Hi Lee, just a quick one. I've got your expenses for an all day metro ticket to the coast for today but you'll need a receipt for your food and drink at the 'Gibraltar Rock'. Cheers, mate."

 

Lee Ryder: "Err, I'll see you tomorrow at the canteen when I fly back from Abu Dubai, Josh."

 

SheilaRyder1948: "Lee, I'm popping in to the Harbour View. Do you want anything for your tea? I just fancy a chippy. Love, Mam. X "

 

Lee Ryder: "Well, err, that's it for now for my outdoor fact finding mission in the land of Lawrence of Arabia. Until next time. Laters."

 

 

 

 

Lee Ryder: "Can you get me a carton of curry with my fish and chips, mam?"

 

 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

:lol::lol: 

It is class that they were getting quite a lot of compliments from people for the takeover coverage (mainly Mark Douglas but people did sometimes generalize as the Ronny Gill), as they got that email from BZG and were at least trying to dig some real info up. Since all they they’ve spat out a rehashed version of the same stories every day, while they retweet it back out with a different tweet making it seem new, and any time anyone mentions that it’s all clickbait they get pissed off. 

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4 hours ago, Ayatollah Hermione said:

 

Just read this exchange, man :lol: Still well oiled from last night, it seems.

"The truth is often stranger than fiction, wor kid, said the man who once nearly got stuck into Wendy Taylor but decided that business and pleasure shouldn't mix as she basically didn't want to know."

 

 

Lee-Ryder.jpg

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  • 4 weeks later...
1 hour ago, Howmanheyman said:

 

You should turn the Ryder diaries into a parody twitter account and answer some of his loyal punters’ questions.

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