The Secret Diary of Lee Ryder (aged 44 and a half)

[Tom 14011]

[LoveTheBobby 1]

The french are saying we've bid £8.8m for Modibo Maiga from Sochaux. Anyone who says they know anything about him is a lying mug. His wiki page is two lines long.

 

 

This too... oh dear...

 

Lee Ryder: I disagree with the notion Pardew is a puppet manager.

 

He would do considering he is the media equivalent.

 

His stories are like Bob Geldof - they'll never wash .

[Christmas Tree 4725]

Lees latest blog.

 

Football logic or business logic?

 

Ask any Newcastle United fan right now what is on their mind at the moment and the answer could be a "left-back" and a "striker".

 

Then there is the money question...

 

Where is it? No, not the £35million, the now advanced kitty of over £40million following summer sales of Kevin Nolan and Jose Enrique.

 

Yes, go anywhere on Tyneside at the moment and those concerns are everywhere.

 

In a nutshell it would appear that Newcastle United, despite the influx of French players coming in, are simply not ready to spend big money on tried and tested players.

 

With no official statements from Mike Ashley or fellow directors so far, fans have been left to assume what the plan is, if there is a plan.

 

Back in February when the accounts were released, the word from NUFC was that the club wanted to be in a position in which it "could wipe its own nose."

 

So basically, the club is heading for an operational status in which Ashley no longer needs to inject his own money into the overall running costs.

 

In theory, well business theory, that may well work.

 

But football has its own theories.

 

In short, they are about winning games, keeping clean sheets and scoring goals.

 

If the price on the ticket is to pay a centre-forward who knows the Premier League say £65,000-£80,000 per week then in reality that is what you have to do to be prepared for a season in the top flight and keep fans (customers) content to the extent that they want to buy a season ticket.

 

Back in 1997, Newcastle fans celebrated into the night after qualifying for the Champions League for the first time with Shearer, Asprilla, Ginola, Lee and Beardsley on their books to name but a few.

 

In 2012 they won't be celebrating if the team finishes 14th and the club break even in the financial stakes.

 

Throw some money at the situation and the current regime will be rocked by exactly how St James' Park will come alive if the club surges up the table like it did in the 1990s and like it did in the early Noughties under Sir Bobby Robson.

 

That may sound oh so simple, but to do the above you need to purchase the required quality to do it and at the moment (Aug 18 with 13 days to go in the transfer window) that has to be questionable.

 

To be heading into the second game of the season against Sunderland without a first choice left-back certainly has to be deemed as a flaw in the current approach given the fixtures have been known since June.

 

The striker issue is even more frustrating for fans given Andy Carroll was sold in January.

 

As the club blueprint is yet to be aired in public, we are entitled to come to our own conclusions.

 

The conclusion thus far can only be that United don't seem to be prepared to go past a certain salary, given Erik Pieters is reported in Holland to want £30,000 per week and doesn't look like coming anytime soon.

 

And that the days of transfer fees over £5million (like Cabaye) are over at least for now.

 

Until we hear otherwise that is...

[Kevin S. Assilleekunt 1]

Rebel rebel, your face is a mess

[Guest alex]

Blatantly reads this forum like. The poor sod

[IRToonFanStill 0]

Thought Cabaye cost under £5 mill? He must be including agent fee's and the such...

[Jusoda Kid 1]

About time he grew some balls, looks like my tweets have worked. I will now tweet and congratulate him on becoming a man.

[Ayatollah Hermione 13869]

Lee Ryder's use of paragraphs borders on the Year 6 SATs level.

[IRToonFanStill 0]

Lee Ryder's use of paragraphs borders on the Year 6 SATs level.

 

Impressive no?

[Guest Your Name Here]

About time he grew some balls, looks like my tweets have worked. I will now tweet and congratulate him on becoming a man.

It reads like a pre-emptive arse lick but only time will tell.

[McFaul 35]

Now forgive me I know most of you find it funny but I've been reading it on Twitter for 3 days about this mackem in Milan pish for Santon.

 

Personally, it's been done to death, and was never that funny to start with. For Lee Ryder to come out and ask him if he's ever seen a mackem in Milan is just embarrassing, basically cheapens and already massively flawed paper, which was once upon a time worth reading. Imagine a proper journalist like Henry Winter or Paul Nunn (RIP) writing a story like that. It's like me signing for Inter, and the Inter journo asking me if I'd have ever seen rossoneri in the toon "have a fuck" oh dear. OH DEAR.

 

http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/newcastle-u...72703-29333568/?

[Craig 6682]

Fuck me, I can't believe he even asked that question. He's as amateur as fuck isn't he?

 

Quite how the likes of him get a job and Ketsbaia is still struggling to find something is dreadful.

[Barney 0]

Pandering to the mongs.

[Guest alex]

Pandering to the mongs.

Almost exactly what I was going to say. He's one of them, after all.

[sweetleftpeg 0]

He is a knacker like. I've met him a few times through someone else and he's not the most likeable of fellas.

[Christmas Tree 4725]

For those who like a little lunchtime abuse.

 

@lee_ryder

Lee Ryder

Going to be answering your questions on @EveningChron live transfer blog at 12.30 #nufc

[Kevin S. Assilleekunt 1]

I think he's even overtaken Lee Harvey Oswald now with the Mackem in Milan nonsense.

[LoveTheBobby 1]

Q - "So Dayveed , heheh have you ever seen a Makem in Milan ? (hey whatma like eh)"

 

A - "*who is this fucking helmet cleaner*"

[Ayatollah Hermione 13869]

Q - "So Dayveed , heheh have you ever seen a Makem in Milan ? (hey whatma like eh)"

 

A - "*who is this fucking helmet cleaner*"

 

[Tom 14011]

Embarrassing!

 

Besides Santon will have been about 11 when we played in Milan! (although we have played Inter a couple of times, not sure if we've met A.C)

[Guest alex]

Flying the chequered flag

By Lee Ryder on Aug 27, 11 12:45 AM

 

The first time I ever met Joey Barton he gave the instant impression he wasn't like the average footballer.

 

He was down to earth.

 

Shortly after his comeback game from a broken foot at Kingston Park, Barton came out of the tunnel to do an interview and had managed to tread on a huge plaster which was stuck to his foot.

 

Barton said: "What is it, bloody hell."

 

Immediately, club officials prepared to get down on their knees to help remove the plaster but Barton wouldn't let them and said: "No I've got it myself."

 

Other footballers would have been happy to be pampered but it struck me right from the off he was just normal.

Barton's time on Tyneside has, like his football career, been chequered to say the least.

 

It would be easy to reel off all of the bad points about Barton (how predictable would another life and crimes of Joey Barton be?) and it would be easy to sit here and fall into the trap of buttering him up.

 

Ultimately what will live with me is this...

 

Much of Barton's banter is lost on your average journalist because some of them can't relate to the working class nature of it, for me I found it hard to keep a straight face while in the Scouser's company.

 

Unless you know the moment where you are about to be thrown out of class at school and can't contain your laughter any longer, you won't know what I am talking about!

 

If there were more like Barton in the game then football would be a more interesting place.

 

The football world is full of players who talk about "working hard", "the next three points are vital" and "We're doing this for the gaffer/the fans" and any other mundane cliched claptrap you care to mention and then fail to deliver on a Saturday before repeating the same patter.

 

Generally a lot of footballers (not all) flick a switch when they see a dictaphone or a pen and pad - which isn't a surprise given they are put through courses at the FA telling them to do so, something James Milner has off to a fine art.

 

Off the record, they will deliver some great chat but once that red button is lit on the tape recorder some change.

 

Barton does not.

 

He says it how it is, and one thing is certain, had he been as mundane as some players are he would still be a Newcastle United player now.

 

The world cries out for different characters but the moment an outspoken person says something they don't like people take the moral highground and condemn it.

 

In the Twitter age, people want their cake and they want to eat it.

 

They want to hurl abuse at players like Barton on Twitter then complain if they get a reply they don't like!

 

For being too honest Barton is now wearing a hooped blue and white shirt and playing at Loftus Road.

 

His exit from Newcastle should not be a surprise, he was always sailing close to the wind in Toonland.

 

And his characteristics always meant that one day there would be a straw that would break the camel's back.

 

For Barton it was an ill-fated day at Elland Road.

 

Ironically, he'd survived worse scenarios.

 

The day he was sent off at Liverpool and handed a three match ban being one of them back in 2009.

 

You could say had Barton not been sent off and banned, Newcastle wouldn't have been relegated.

 

Out of the three games he missed, Newcastle needed just one more point, one more goal - his influence in matches shows he could have been the man to find that little spark that was sadly lacking.

 

Yet those are merely bygones now.

 

He stayed and helped Newcastle get promoted by playing a small part, at Plymouth when he was held aloft by Toon fans he told them to put him down because he didn't deserve it - another honest gesture.

 

His one full season in the Premier League resulted in him being player of the year but sadly that's as good as it got for Newcastle fans.

 

That says it all about his ability - but a footballer ultimately lives his life by football logic.

 

And his exit at Newcastle boils down to the fact that at this moment in time business logic within the four walls of St James' Park is seeded higher than football logic.

 

When Andy Carroll was flogged, was the beginning of the end for Barton because it was the moment that triggered off the negativity that has drove others out of the revolving door at SJP.

 

Why should this be a surprise?

 

It started with James Milner, then Shay Given and Charlie Zog, then Seb Bassong, Habib Beye, Oba Martins and Damien Duff plus others.

 

Is it all down to just money?

 

Perhaps to an extent yes, but Barton is a character who wants to win football matches - when he sees injustice he does not act, he reacts.

 

Hence his grapple with Gervinho, hence his clash with Pedersen, hence all of the other clashes in his life which have landed him in trouble, quite simply, Barton reacts to negative situations.

 

Such annoyances go unexpressed in the world of Joey.

 

Meaning he could never survive at St James' Park while budgets are tightened and Newcastle try to convert to a club that is no longer hamstrung by huge wages and financial stress caused by huge transfer fees - that's how it is.

 

And all of that goes against football logic - which is the logic of Joey Barton.

 

Football is about winning and basically boils down to goals.

 

To get goals you need a striker, you need to pay him the going rate to find the net and if he's really good at it, other teams will want to buy him - just like Carroll.

 

I agree with the latter, buy players, be adventurous and speculate to accumulate - it's the only way.

 

But whether we like it or not that isn't happening at NUFC at the moment.

 

It is about recruiting young and unearthing talent and siezing bargains such as Dan Gosling and Haris Vuckic.

 

That's the system and the plan that Alan Pardew seems to be working off.

 

Fans say journalist aren't asking the right questions but if I had a pound for every time I've heard "Where's the money gone Alan?" this summer I would be able to afford a striker myself.

 

The problem isn't the questions, the problem is that people don't like the answers.

 

Geordie punters want to see exciting players through the door with proven, tried and tested career histories.

 

They want to be entertained but under the current transfer strategy that is going to be difficult.

 

Recruiting players from France is an economic strategy, not because Graham Carr likes French cusine.

 

Barton's rants this summer on Twitter are simply a bi-product of how NUFC is today.

 

But life will go on for the black and whites, Barton will soon, sadly in some ways, be just another ex-Toon player and he knows that better than anybody.

 

You could read it all over his face when he posed as QPR's next big signing.

 

I started the blog with the first time that I met Joey Barton and I will end it with the last time I spoke with him.

 

That moment goes back before Leeds and after pulling into the training ground in Mazda with dented door, Barton was walking off the training field.

 

After clocking me he shouted (while throwing his arms around as if appealing for penalty): "Hey Lee, where's my trophy for Chronicle player of the season man! It's the only thing I've ever won."

 

If I'd have known it was the last time I'd speak to him in black and white, I'd have thought of something better to say.

 

As it stands, the trophy will be on its way to Barton soon.

 

It's certainly been one crazy emotional rollercoaster Joey lad.

 

And the place will be a duller one without him.

 

He will be gone but not forgotten.

Apologies for the paragraphs, they're his, not mine. How the fuck is this bloke a journo?

[ewerk 30611]

Shortly after his comeback game from a broken foot at Kingston Park, Barton came out of the tunnel to do an interview and had managed to tread on a huge plaster which was stuck to his foot.

 

Barton said: "What is it, bloody hell."

 

Immediately, club officials prepared to get down on their knees to help remove the plaster but Barton wouldn't let them and said: "No I've got it myself."

 

Up the with Rob W for the anecdotes.

[themags 0]

why write that now, has Barton threatened to give Ryder a slap or something

[Guest alex]

Shortly after his comeback game from a broken foot at Kingston Park, Barton came out of the tunnel to do an interview and had managed to tread on a huge plaster which was stuck to his foot.

 

Barton said: "What is it, bloody hell."

 

Immediately, club officials prepared to get down on their knees to help remove the plaster but Barton wouldn't let them and said: "No I've got it myself."

 

Up the with Rob W for the anecdotes.

It's a cracker

[McFaul 35]

Shortly after his comeback game from a broken foot at Kingston Park, Barton came out of the tunnel to do an interview and had managed to tread on a huge plaster which was stuck to his foot.

 

Barton said: "What is it, bloody hell."

 

Immediately, club officials prepared to get down on their knees to help remove the plaster but Barton wouldn't let them and said: "No I've got it myself."

 

Up the with Rob W for the anecdotes.