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The Secret Diary of Lee Ryder (aged 44 and a half)


Craig
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  • 2 weeks later...

 

 

United had sold the club as a stepping stone to overseas players in the past with Yohan Cabaye, Moussa Sissoko and Andy Carroll all winning big money moves elsewhere.

 

Think we'd have never lured Carroll here from exotic shores in the first place without the "stepping stone" angle

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  • 1 month later...

The knight was on form yesterday. 'Working class hero/fans' piece, a piece about our attendances, a piece about how Gayle is blown away by our support and another how Darlow is also blown away by our support and him even writing extra lyrics from Spandau Ballet. :lol: I couldn't even top that. When parody morphs into reality.

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  • 3 weeks later...

:lol: Honestly man it's like a bloke in a pub. The plight of that collar man, he turns up to work in that disheveled clip? "well a bloke like Rafa will always be looking for targets so yeah I think they'll sign some players in January" What a fucking scoop, then he starts getting bold saying there will be some surprises 20 seconds after showing he has no evidence whatsoever that NUFC will even sign anybody other than he reckons they will :lol: .

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:lol: Honestly man it's like a bloke in a pub. The plight of that collar man, he turns up to work in that disheveled clip? "well a bloke like Rafa will always be looking for targets so yeah I think they'll sign some players in January" What a fucking scoop, then he starts getting bold saying there will be some surprises 20 seconds after showing he has no evidence whatsoever that NUFC will even sign anybody other than he reckons they will :lol: .

 

the least informed local sports news reporter, perhaps in history, delivers 60 seconds of nothing remotely newsworthy, exclusive on chronicle video :lol: 

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:D "Try and strengthen in every position". So that'll be a whole new 11 coming in in January will it?

:lol: Was just posting the same, what a fucking loon. You could even see him really trying to think of something good before coming out with that drivel. 

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:lol: Was just posting the same, what a fucking loon. You could even see him really trying to think of something good before coming out with that drivel.

The irony being he will probably only add a CM/winger and stick with what is already the strongest squad in the division

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I once saw him outside asda in longbenton on his mobile no doubt talking to one of his snouts or contacts. Think I heard him asking whether they were having the curry tonight or just getting a pizza in?(Must've been Tayls he was talking to).

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"Fuck it, beef vindaloo, because the Knight is no tikka masala puff. Me puntas like their cathedral on the hill reports shit hot from yours truly, me arse also likes shit hot anah'll. Lol! Laters."

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  • 2 weeks later...

13th November

 

Well, diary, ah'm a modern man a thinker, ah knaa the futures ahll blogs and video diaries, of course ah know me traditional puntas lap me match reports up like me mutha's dog, 'Peter Haddock', laps up it's own precious bah'lls, but sometimes you need a bit of tradition if yi knaa what ah mean? A bit of Adam and Eve instead of Adam and Steve. Ah wiz round me mam's hoose for me tea after writing up another nufc blockbuster report about the story on everyone lips at the Seaton Sluice social club free style pool tournament between, me, me cousin Johnny ten kids and me old pal, cockeyed Mala, namely the story of should NUFC bring back joey Barton. Anyways, after ah'd got to me mam's ah noticed she looked tired, she felt iz that the new people next door were Clark Kent! And she wasn't talking aboot Superman, either! Ah'm a live and let live bloke but ah couldn't have two puffs keeping me auld dear up with their best of Eurovision CD collection so ah thought ah'd put them in the picture of whose mother's house they had moved next door to. Ah knocks and this lad with a crew cut answers. "Alreet? Ah knaa you probably divven like football, but ah'm Lee Ryder, Trinity Mirror regional sports journalist of the year, and me mam lives next door, can you keep the noise down? Ah wouldn't want to do something ah'll regret". The kid said he was called Martin and he'd invited me mam round and the reason she had a sore heed was because she'd dusted ah'll the gin in the hoose which was left after the kid went tee total! He also said he was a Newcastle supporter so ah thought ah'd let him off seeing me ma was OK with them. I chuckled to mesel as ah walked back to me mam's at the thought of A. Him liking football. B. Me mam dancing away with the gays, and C. The fact the kid didn't knaa how close he'd came to getting a Ryder knuckle sandwich from the former toon army footsoldier in his dial! Lol.

 

Laters.

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