Renton 22343 Posted November 24, 2005 Share Posted November 24, 2005 I got a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend of mine the other day. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic nights we used to enjoy together. I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that 'magic`. "Wow!", I said, "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now! I'm a bit older and a bit balder than when you last saw me!" She just giggled and said she was sure I'd rise to the challenge!!! "Yeah" I said, "just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistline that's a few inches wider these days!" She laughed and told me to stop being so silly! She teased me saying that tubby bald men were cute! "Anyway, I've put on a few pounds myself!" she giggled................... So I told her to fuck off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smooth Operator 10 Posted November 24, 2005 Share Posted November 24, 2005 Too right in my view, it's ok for us to pile on a bit of timber but as soon as they start to tip the scales past 10 stone they need kicking into touch! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted November 24, 2005 Share Posted November 24, 2005 True or not, Gold! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shearergol 0 Posted November 24, 2005 Share Posted November 24, 2005 Too right in my view, it's ok for us to pile on a bit of timber but as soon as they start to tip the scales past 10 stone they need kicking into touch! 60138[/snapback] Bridget will be along shortly I'm sure Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetleftpeg 0 Posted November 24, 2005 Share Posted November 24, 2005 I stopped believing the story after 'gorgeous ex-girlfriend' tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matty 0 Posted November 24, 2005 Share Posted November 24, 2005 Class! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig 6700 Posted November 24, 2005 Share Posted November 24, 2005 Reminds me of my mate who got uncerimoniously dumped a few years ago. Known for his brutal honesty his other half should have known better than to ask him if the dress she was wearing made her look fat. His response was simply "what's the fucking dress got to do with anything?" 100% true because his lass was a mate of my lass at the time and I was getting it in the neck from her for having a 'complete wanker' of a mate! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted November 24, 2005 Share Posted November 24, 2005 Reminds me of my mate who got uncerimoniously dumped a few years ago. Known for his brutal honesty his other half should have known better than to ask him if the dress she was wearing made her look fat. His response was simply "what's the fucking dress got to do with anything?" 100% true because his lass was a mate of my lass at the time and I was getting it in the neck from her for having a 'complete wanker' of a mate! 60254[/snapback] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 22343 Posted November 24, 2005 Author Share Posted November 24, 2005 Reminds me of my mate who got uncerimoniously dumped a few years ago. Known for his brutal honesty his other half should have known better than to ask him if the dress she was wearing made her look fat. His response was simply "what's the fucking dress got to do with anything?" 100% true because his lass was a mate of my lass at the time and I was getting it in the neck from her for having a 'complete wanker' of a mate! 60254[/snapback] 60257[/snapback] Brilliant. The easiest way to end an unwanted relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smooth Operator 10 Posted November 24, 2005 Share Posted November 24, 2005 Too right in my view, it's ok for us to pile on a bit of timber but as soon as they start to tip the scales past 10 stone they need kicking into touch! 60138[/snapback] Bridget will be along shortly I'm sure 60146[/snapback] Fuck that miserable muppet! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted November 24, 2005 Share Posted November 24, 2005 Too right in my view, it's ok for us to pile on a bit of timber but as soon as they start to tip the scales past 10 stone they need kicking into touch! 60138[/snapback] Bridget will be along shortly I'm sure 60146[/snapback] Fuck that miserable muppet! 60267[/snapback] Some of the one liners on here are priceless. ........some of them are fucking dreadful an all like! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted November 24, 2005 Share Posted November 24, 2005 Too right in my view, it's ok for us to pile on a bit of timber but as soon as they start to tip the scales past 10 stone they need kicking into touch! 60138[/snapback] Bridget will be along shortly I'm sure 60146[/snapback] Fuck that miserable muppet! 60267[/snapback] Bridget's a canny lass actually. A bit clever for me like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted November 24, 2005 Share Posted November 24, 2005 Too right in my view, it's ok for us to pile on a bit of timber but as soon as they start to tip the scales past 10 stone they need kicking into touch! 60138[/snapback] Bridget will be along shortly I'm sure 60146[/snapback] Fuck that miserable muppet! 60267[/snapback] Some of the one liners on here are priceless. ........some of them are fucking dreadful an all like! 60274[/snapback] Vinegar tits is yet to be matched tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 22343 Posted November 24, 2005 Author Share Posted November 24, 2005 Too right in my view, it's ok for us to pile on a bit of timber but as soon as they start to tip the scales past 10 stone they need kicking into touch! 60138[/snapback] Bridget will be along shortly I'm sure 60146[/snapback] Fuck that miserable muppet! 60267[/snapback] Some of the one liners on here are priceless. ........some of them are fucking dreadful an all like! 60274[/snapback] Vinegar tits is yet to be matched tbh. 60277[/snapback] First time I heard that was Vera vinegar tits from prisoner cell block H. Anyone seen this? There was also this wizened old hag called Liz who was so wrinkled you'd need bull dog clips to do the business, but that's another story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smooth Operator 10 Posted November 24, 2005 Share Posted November 24, 2005 Too right in my view, it's ok for us to pile on a bit of timber but as soon as they start to tip the scales past 10 stone they need kicking into touch! 60138[/snapback] Bridget will be along shortly I'm sure 60146[/snapback] Fuck that miserable muppet! 60267[/snapback] Some of the one liners on here are priceless. ........some of them are fucking dreadful an all like! 60274[/snapback] Vinegar tits is yet to be matched tbh. 60277[/snapback] Aye it's a damning insult of which I have found in my experience there is no retort. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 46961 Posted November 24, 2005 Share Posted November 24, 2005 There was also this wizened old hag called Liz who was so wrinkled you'd need bull dog clips to do the business, but that's another story. 60292[/snapback] You disgust me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted November 24, 2005 Share Posted November 24, 2005 Too right in my view, it's ok for us to pile on a bit of timber but as soon as they start to tip the scales past 10 stone they need kicking into touch! 60138[/snapback] Bridget will be along shortly I'm sure 60146[/snapback] Fuck that miserable muppet! 60267[/snapback] Some of the one liners on here are priceless. ........some of them are fucking dreadful an all like! 60274[/snapback] Vinegar tits is yet to be matched tbh. 60277[/snapback] First time I heard that was Vera vinegar tits from prisoner cell block H. Anyone seen this? There was also this wizened old hag called Liz who was so wrinkled you'd need bull dog clips to do the business, but that's another story. 60292[/snapback] Birdsworth? I liked it when Alf Stewart was in it with his little kosh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted November 24, 2005 Share Posted November 24, 2005 Alaways preferred Franky myself On the inside the sun don't shine SMO told me he used to knock one out over it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 22343 Posted November 24, 2005 Author Share Posted November 24, 2005 That Doreen had unfeasibly big tits iirc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted November 24, 2005 Share Posted November 24, 2005 That Doreen had unfeasibly big tits iirc. 60318[/snapback] You can tell there wasn't much on the box late on in them days Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smooth Operator 10 Posted November 24, 2005 Share Posted November 24, 2005 We used to call the general manager at the hotel I used to work at Vinegar Tits, she couldn't raise a smile for nowt, no matter how funny the situation/gag was. Miserable twat! Good story from my time there was when a lad from the Leisure club was leaving after 9 years there to join the Police, he had this big flag which for some reason (i never knew why) had some significance to him, so everyone signed this big flag and left a farewell message. It was hung up in the restaurant when we did his presentation, the general manager was reading a few of the messages to him and her face was a picture when she came across mine stuck in the bottom left corner. It read "Fuck off pig, we can't go two's up on the female guests in the jacuzzi now!" So from this she deduced that it must have been a night shift worker as that was the only time this sort of activity would have been able to have happened, she spent the next 2 weeks interviewing members of staff to find out who had defaced the flag. The lad it was for thought it was funny as fuck like, but she wasn't interested in that. Anyway she never caught me, miserable vingar breasted mare! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted November 24, 2005 Share Posted November 24, 2005 This is the manager you were shagging, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted November 24, 2005 Share Posted November 24, 2005 We used to call the general manager at the hotel I used to work at Vinegar Tits, she couldn't raise a smile for nowt, no matter how funny the situation/gag was. Miserable twat! Good story from my time there was when a lad from the Leisure club was leaving after 9 years there to join the Police, he had this big flag which for some reason (i never knew why) had some significance to him, so everyone signed this big flag and left a farewell message. It was hung up in the restaurant when we did his presentation, the general manager was reading a few of the messages to him and her face was a picture when she came across mine stuck in the bottom left corner. It read "Fuck off pig, we can't go two's up on the female guests in the jacuzzi now!" So from this she deduced that it must have been a night shift worker as that was the only time this sort of activity would have been able to have happened, she spent the next 2 weeks interviewing members of staff to find out who had defaced the flag. The lad it was for thought it was funny as fuck like, but she wasn't interested in that. Anyway she never caught me, miserable vingar breasted mare! 60330[/snapback] You certainly have away with words wor kid, taught you everything you know Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smooth Operator 10 Posted November 24, 2005 Share Posted November 24, 2005 This is the manager you were shagging, right? 60335[/snapback] No i was fucking my manager who was just a normal duty manager, this was the big boss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted November 24, 2005 Share Posted November 24, 2005 This is the manager you were shagging, right? 60335[/snapback] No i was fucking my manager who was just a normal duty manager, this was the big boss. 60344[/snapback] I guessed this was a different lass like Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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