The Fish 10740 Posted March 15, 2022 Share Posted March 15, 2022 2 hours ago, strawb said: My dad died early this morning, waiting for a nurse visit to confirm etc. I have been here for the last week helping my mam care for him and I’m glad I was as it happened relatively quickly, he was a good man. Mate, sorry for your loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaddockLad 17079 Posted March 15, 2022 Share Posted March 15, 2022 Sorry to hear @strawb it’s hellishly difficult, and it’s easy to say it will get better , but it will… 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 44393 Posted March 15, 2022 Share Posted March 15, 2022 Sorry to hear your news strawb. Hope you and your mam are OK. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strawb 4181 Posted March 15, 2022 Share Posted March 15, 2022 Thanks lads, you’re all good eggs. Going to be a lot to sort out in the coming weeks, my older brother had a brain bleed at 30 and has been left in a semi vegetative state for the last 10 years. My dad was his main carer until recently at home so we need to deal with that and get some more help for my mam because I live 2.5 hours away. In a weird way I’m glad it’s over, he was struggling and now he isn’t. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig 6682 Posted March 15, 2022 Share Posted March 15, 2022 6 minutes ago, strawb said: Thanks lads, you’re all good eggs. Going to be a lot to sort out in the coming weeks, my older brother had a brain bleed at 30 and has been left in a semi vegetative state for the last 10 years. My dad was his main carer until recently at home so we need to deal with that and get some more help for my mam because I live 2.5 hours away. In a weird way I’m glad it’s over, he was struggling and now he isn’t. Fucking hell Strawb, that's awful and additional pressure on you and your Mam in a time you don't need it. Hope things get sorted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 32728 Posted March 15, 2022 Share Posted March 15, 2022 5 hours ago, strawb said: My dad died early this morning, waiting for a nurse visit to confirm etc. I have been here for the last week helping my mam care for him and I’m glad I was as it happened relatively quickly, he was a good man. I'm sorry for your loss, Strawb. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 21307 Posted March 15, 2022 Share Posted March 15, 2022 6 hours ago, strawb said: My dad died early this morning, waiting for a nurse visit to confirm etc. I have been here for the last week helping my mam care for him and I’m glad I was as it happened relatively quickly, he was a good man. Take care mate. Be aware that even if you think you're doing okay, you might not be. Grief can hit you suddenly at any time I'm finding out. Take whatever help you can and listen to the wise bods on this board. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 44393 Posted March 15, 2022 Share Posted March 15, 2022 Fucking hell, the strawb lads have been through some shit. Sorry to hear about your brother too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strawb 4181 Posted March 15, 2022 Share Posted March 15, 2022 2 minutes ago, Gemmill said: Fucking hell, the strawb lads have been through some shit. Sorry to hear about your brother too. The smog in Middlesbrough either makes us tough or prone to horrible illness. You decide Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42066 Posted March 25, 2022 Share Posted March 25, 2022 Had a meeting today with a Parole Victim Liason officer, regarding the upcoming parole hearing of my brothers murderer. It was, as expected , emotional, frustrating and also, informative. The main takeaways are that he’s extremely unlikely to be released this year, which also means that he’s unlikely to be released within the next 2-3 years. What was also interesting was that we discussed an exclusion area for when he is eventually released, based on places my Mam regularly goes to, so that she never has to worry about bumping into him. It happens that the area he’s not allowed in also includes where his family live, and it was nice to hear the Liason Officer essentially say “ Tough luck for him”. It means that he’ll be monitored more than the norm, and if he’s found to have entered the area… straight back to jail, do not pass go, do not collect £200. Oh dear, what a shame. I’m not going to pretend today wasn’t tough mind, it dredged up memories that I’d long since buried, I’m not ashamed to say that a tear or two might have leaked out. Two that came back to me, which fucking killed me, were my Mam having to be taken to Asda at 4:00am by the police, only 4 hours after it happened, to buy clothes, since hers needed to be taken as evidence, and also the police liason lads coming to see me at the cardiac ward ( my Mam ended up there for over a week in the immediate aftermath), a few days afterwards, to give me the results of the autopsy.… which laid out precisely how brutal his killing was, multiple weapons, multiple (20+) wounds. I’d asked them to tell me the results so that I could “censor” them for my Mam, and tbh I’ve still not told her the true extent of it. Fucking killed me thinking about that again. Anyway, all that misery aside, the upside is that he’s not getting his freedom just yet, so, happy days. I’m glad that’s over and done with 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayatollah Hermione 13794 Posted March 25, 2022 Share Posted March 25, 2022 Heavy stuff that mind, MF. Fair one for you having to deal with all that, especially having to be there for your mother throughout. Get yourself into some ale and some good tunes tonight. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 21813 Posted March 25, 2022 Share Posted March 25, 2022 On 15/03/2022 at 14:04, strawb said: Thanks lads, you’re all good eggs. Going to be a lot to sort out in the coming weeks, my older brother had a brain bleed at 30 and has been left in a semi vegetative state for the last 10 years. My dad was his main carer until recently at home so we need to deal with that and get some more help for my mam because I live 2.5 hours away. In a weird way I’m glad it’s over, he was struggling and now he isn’t. Sorry for your loss Strawb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 21813 Posted March 25, 2022 Share Posted March 25, 2022 26 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: Had a meeting today with a Parole Victim Liason officer, regarding the upcoming parole hearing of my brothers murderer. It was, as expected , emotional, frustrating and also, informative. The main takeaways are that he’s extremely unlikely to be released this year, which also means that he’s unlikely to be released within the next 2-3 years. What was also interesting was that we discussed an exclusion area for when he is eventually released, based on places my Mam regularly goes to, so that she never has to worry about bumping into him. It happens that the area he’s not allowed in also includes where his family live, and it was nice to hear the Liason Officer essentially say “ Tough luck for him”. It means that he’ll be monitored more than the norm, and if he’s found to have entered the area… straight back to jail, do not pass go, do not collect £200. Oh dear, what a shame. I’m not going to pretend today wasn’t tough mind, it dredged up memories that I’d long since buried, I’m not ashamed to say that a tear or two might have leaked out. Two that came back to me, which fucking killed me, were my Mam having to be taken to Asda at 4:00am by the police, only 4 hours after it happened, to buy clothes, since hers needed to be taken as evidence, and also the police liason lads coming to see me at the cardiac ward ( my Mam ended up there for over a week in the immediate aftermath), a few days afterwards, to give me the results of the autopsy.… which laid out precisely how brutal his killing was, multiple weapons, multiple (20+) wounds. I’d asked them to tell me the results so that I could “censor” them for my Mam, and tbh I’ve still not told her the true extent of it. Fucking killed me thinking about that again. Anyway, all that misery aside, the upside is that he’s not getting his freedom just yet, so, happy days. I’m glad that’s over and done with Heavy shit mate. Glad to hear the cunt isn’t getting out anytime soon 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 30266 Posted March 25, 2022 Share Posted March 25, 2022 It’s hard to know where to start with that, MF. It will never go away. I imagine it gets to a point where it doesn’t make a difference if it’s 10/12/14 years but as you say the last thing you want is seeing the cunt walk round free as a bird. You’re pursuing entirely the right line and I hope you have success in getting the right result for both you and the rest of your family. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Isegrim 9733 Posted March 25, 2022 Share Posted March 25, 2022 Fucking hell MF, if you have told this story, I must have missed it. I am only dealing with relatives of murder victims during criminal proceedings until the sentencing but do know from first hand experience how traumatic not only the crime can be but also having to deal with the facts. I think you were doing well in censoring some of those facts and do always recommend doing so. There are always things better not to know about or having seen. Have good beer and enjoy someone not getting out of jail too soon. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 21307 Posted March 25, 2022 Share Posted March 25, 2022 I think it's almost impossible for any of us to imagine how hard this is for you and your family MF. Thankfully it's something very few of us have to face. And time is strange, 20 years ago for me feels like last week and if you're anything like me you'll easily get dragged back into the moment. Wishing you, your mam, and family, all the best. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 32728 Posted March 25, 2022 Share Posted March 25, 2022 2 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: Had a meeting today with a Parole Victim Liason officer, regarding the upcoming parole hearing of my brothers murderer. It was, as expected , emotional, frustrating and also, informative. The main takeaways are that he’s extremely unlikely to be released this year, which also means that he’s unlikely to be released within the next 2-3 years. What was also interesting was that we discussed an exclusion area for when he is eventually released, based on places my Mam regularly goes to, so that she never has to worry about bumping into him. It happens that the area he’s not allowed in also includes where his family live, and it was nice to hear the Liason Officer essentially say “ Tough luck for him”. It means that he’ll be monitored more than the norm, and if he’s found to have entered the area… straight back to jail, do not pass go, do not collect £200. Oh dear, what a shame. I’m not going to pretend today wasn’t tough mind, it dredged up memories that I’d long since buried, I’m not ashamed to say that a tear or two might have leaked out. Two that came back to me, which fucking killed me, were my Mam having to be taken to Asda at 4:00am by the police, only 4 hours after it happened, to buy clothes, since hers needed to be taken as evidence, and also the police liason lads coming to see me at the cardiac ward ( my Mam ended up there for over a week in the immediate aftermath), a few days afterwards, to give me the results of the autopsy.… which laid out precisely how brutal his killing was, multiple weapons, multiple (20+) wounds. I’d asked them to tell me the results so that I could “censor” them for my Mam, and tbh I’ve still not told her the true extent of it. Fucking killed me thinking about that again. Anyway, all that misery aside, the upside is that he’s not getting his freedom just yet, so, happy days. I’m glad that’s over and done with No words from us will erase things but I sincerely hope you know, and can garner, support from us all on here, mate. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 11137 Posted March 26, 2022 Share Posted March 26, 2022 That's awful and reassuring at the same time. Take care of yourself and family. Oh, and keep coming here so we can abuse you. 🙂 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42066 Posted March 28, 2022 Share Posted March 28, 2022 Cheers lads. I took the advice and hit the peeve, then regretted it the day after, and the day after that Fucking shite advice on here mind. 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 11137 Posted March 29, 2022 Share Posted March 29, 2022 7 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: Cheers lads. I took the advice and hit the peeve, then regretted it the day after, and the day after that Fucking shite advice on here mind. Okay, good 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayatollah Hermione 13794 Posted March 29, 2022 Share Posted March 29, 2022 9 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: Cheers lads. I took the advice and hit the peeve, then regretted it the day after, and the day after that Fucking shite advice on here mind. I can’t say that I recall telling you to get smashed, like. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42066 Posted March 29, 2022 Share Posted March 29, 2022 2 hours ago, Ayatollah Hermione said: I can’t say that I recall telling you to get smashed, like. Oh, so now we’re specifying quantity, are we? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42066 Posted April 2, 2022 Share Posted April 2, 2022 In the Town Mouse, waiting for my brother to arrive for a mild, middle-aged afternoon sesh on the ales. Very civilised, so far. Target is to make it to The Cumberland/ Free Trade whichever by teatime without falling over 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayatollah Hermione 13794 Posted April 2, 2022 Share Posted April 2, 2022 I think my plan is to head down the Ouseburn way today so try and be bladdered and home by 6, if you don’t mind. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 32728 Posted April 2, 2022 Share Posted April 2, 2022 My mood is not being helped by struggling to view this site or post on it without getting this message...... NET::ERR_CERT_DATE_INVALID 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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