What mood are you in and why?

[strawb 4181]

Congrats mate

[tooner 243]

On 8/3/2019 at 13:24, The Fish said:

Knackered. 

Son was born June 27th. Mrs Fish had 28hrs labour before ending up with a c-section because little man was in the wrong position and wasn't so little. Born at 01:57 am, weighing a hefty 10lbs (4.5kg). All fine and dandy, however the hospital boots people out at midnight, so we finally get down to the ward at about 4, and the midwife immediately tells me I have to leave. Normal birth that might not have been a problem, but Mrs Fish had been in hospital since 8am Monday, had been nil-by-mouth since tuesday night and hadn't slept properly in days. She could barely sit up, let alone pick up the chunky little bugger. Other parents from the Antenatal group said the partners were allowed to stay overnight in the other hospital we were considering.

 

Anyway, he's mint, got the first couple of proper smiles last night.

Congrats Fish  and Mrs Fish, and Happy Birthday Mini-fish!!!

 

[The Fish 10738]

On 8/3/2019 at 21:26, ewerk said:

Glad to hear that everything including the wife’s vag is okay.  

I assume it's ok, I doubt I'll ever be allowed near it again.

[The Fish 10738]

On 8/3/2019 at 21:42, Monkeys Fist said:

Congrats on the Tiddler, Mr & Mrs. Fish. 

 

Just remember, when the two of you are bouncing crockery off each other and craving just five fucking minutes of sweet, sweet sleep, it’s your own fault- you could’ve just spaffed on her tiddies. 

 

Welcome to fatherhood 

Worked out a pattern, so I have him from 20:00 to midnight, then fuck off to the spare room for 5-6 hours sleep before going to work. Feel bad for Mrs Fish last night because he slept peacefully for most of my shit, woke up angry about five past midnight, strained, had a massive shit and apparently have been fussy all morning  

[wykikitoon 19889]

Welcome to the world Marmaduke Fish!  

Sounds a right unit does the lad, congrats!

[Kid Dynamite 6986]

12 hours ago, The Fish said:

Worked out a pattern, so I have him from 20:00 to midnight, then fuck off to the spare room for 5-6 hours sleep before going to work. Feel bad for Mrs Fish last night because he slept peacefully for most of my shit, woke up angry about five past midnight, strained, had a massive shit and apparently have been fussy all morning  

 

So effectively you have him until bed time, then sleep in your own quiet room whilst the Mrs is up all night with a screaming baby. Then you go to work while she has the baby all day on her own again?

[The Fish 10738]

4 hours ago, Kid Dynamite said:

 

So effectively you have him until bed time, then sleep in your own quiet room whilst the Mrs is up all night with a screaming baby. Then you go to work while she has the baby all day on her own again?

Her rules.

[Alex 34846]

Tbf she gets to spend a lot of time with the bairn and hardly any with Fish so you can understand the rationale 

Edited August 6, 2019 by Alex

[The Fish 10738]

Could be worse, there's a South African princess-typefrom the Antenatal group who insists she and her husband do everything together. She doesn't put their kid down either, so he's getting fuck all sleep, then going to work, going home for lunch etc. She's a fucking nightmare .

[Kid Dynamite 6986]

Sounds like a supportive husband to me ...

[The Fish 10738]

On 8/6/2019 at 21:56, Kid Dynamite said:

Sounds like a supportive husband to me ...

Joking aside, I've no idea how single mums do this. Especially if they've needed a c-section. 

[Monkeys Fist 42066]

3 hours ago, The Fish said:

Joking aside, I've no idea how single mums do this. Especially if they've needed a c-section. 

Mrs. Fist had an emergency caesarean for our first nipper, and it was brutal. 

It took her about 3 months to fully recover from it, all the while worrying her belly was going to burst open. 

Simple things like walking, getting up from a seat, and shit like that, you’ve got to be there and help her out. 

Not to mention when you eventually get back to conjugal nastiness, never, EVER, mention the scar. 

Ever. 

Still, since the little beast came out of the conservatory window, the minge is still tight as a gnat’s chuff when you eventually get back to it 

[The Fish 10738]

40 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said:

Mrs. Fist had an emergency caesarean for our first nipper, and it was brutal. 

It took her about 3 months to fully recover from it, all the while worrying her belly was going to burst open. 

Simple things like walking, getting up from a seat, and shit like that, you’ve got to be there and help her out. 

Not to mention when you eventually get back to conjugal nastiness, never, EVER, mention the scar. 

Ever. 

Still, since the little beast came out of the conservatory window, the minge is still tight as a gnat’s chuff when you eventually get back to it 

Aye, Mrs Fish is still struggling. Just getting a 10lb baby into the carseat (+ however much that weighs)and into the car is a killer when I'm not around. We'd just leave it the car, but we've a mate who did that overnight and someone stole the car, had a joyride, set it on fire and nicked all the baby stuff was nicked or ruined and not covered by the insurance. So of course that's put the fear in her hormone addled mind that it's guaranteed to happen to us.

 

Had to laugh when, just hours after the little fella was born, wife exhausted and post major-abdominal surgery the midwife came round to talk about contraception... I reckon that screaming monster in the cot is mood killer enough  

[Monkeys Fist 42066]

“ Have you thought about contracept.…”

 

” HE CAN TAKE HIS DICK AND STICK IT IN A FOOD PROCESSOR!”

 

” Ok Mrs. Fish, good that you’ve thought about it “

[TheGingerQuiff 2412]

Or a word processor, that's how Fish was conceived! 

[Monkeys Fist 42066]

Relieved. 

Just passed my Level 3 Rope Access ticket (again)- three more years of fun and frolics on dangly string. 

 

After a week of rescues, though, I’m absolutely fucking battered - I think I might have caught arthritis this week 

[Howmanheyman 32728]

Had a recorded video interview. If this is the future I'm fucked! Horrendous.

[Ayatollah Hermione 13794]

5 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said:

Had a recorded video interview. If this is the future I'm fucked! Horrendous.

 I had one of those and aye, nightmare. Even more so when the Skype call hitched and you have to repeat everything twice.

 

Did get to use a true power move of wearing a shirt and tie with a pair of Sondico shorts because he could only see my top half.

[Howmanheyman 32728]

Just now, Ayatollah Hermione said:

 I had one of those and aye, nightmare. Even more so when the Skype call hitched and you have to repeat everything twice.

 

Did get to use a true power move of wearing a shirt and tie with a pair of Sondico shorts because he could only see my top half.

Aye. Shirt, tie, jacket, Steve McQueen's and slippers.

[Monkeys Fist 42066]

[The Fish 10738]

Knackered. 

 

Both the little man and the Mrs have the Flu. 

He's been coughing and not himself for a few days, took him into the GP who said it was a viral infection, probably the flu and to keep an eye on how much he's feeding, if he's dehyrdated and for any marks on his body. Saturday he's properly listless, and there's a mark on his shoulder so we phone 111, they send an ambulance sharpish. Paramedics look him over, but by now he's fed and had another power nap. HE's brighter and the paramedic says that the mark is probably just a mark from the carseat or his cot or wherever. Then some over-zealous GP he phones insists we take Little Fish to Hospital. Paramedic apologises for being unprofessional then says that we should go to hospital if we're at all worried and it's definitely the absolute safest thing to do, but it's his personal opinion that the GP is passing the buck and has ignored the information and opinion he gave over the phone. We're at Hospital for 6 hours, all the while little laddy is getting more uncomfortable and fed up, and the wife is the same. One Doctor examined him then remarked "Oh, he's a bit grumpy isn't he?" "Aye", I said, "He's not slept properly in 4hrs, and people keep waking him up to poke and prod him" Mrs Fish wasn't happy with me.

Then they have to take bloods, so I'm restraining my son as he thrashes and screams bloody murder because the nurse can't complete the task right and has to get a doctor to help.

Get sent to paediatrics, then after 2hrs waiting they check the results, give him a once over and send us home because he's got the flu.

 

Total waste of our time, and the hospital staff's, all because some out of hour GP didn't trust the paramedic.

 

anyway, I'm fucking exhausted and needed some catharsis.

[PaddockLad 17079]

Suck it up or keep it in your troosers Dave

 

 

[Monkeys Fist 42066]

[wykikitoon 19889]

Chilled as fuck and ready for Crimbo tbh

[ewerk 30266]

13 hours ago, The Fish said:

Total waste of our time, and the hospital staff's, all because some out of hour GP didn't trust the paramedic.

Literally every time I've taken the child to the out of hours GP they've told me 'I think it's X but you might want to go to A&E to be safe'. All about covering their arses and passing the problem on to someone else.