What mood are you in and why?

[wykikitoon 19148]

21 minutes ago, The Fish said:

Didn't know whether to post this or not but I guess because I champion talking about stuff it'd be hypocritical of me not to.

 

Learned that my cousin died over the weekend. Not sure if it was a deliberate or accidental overdose. Not sure how I feel about it, I didn't really know him that well, hadn't spoken in decades really. But I know he was struggling with his mental health and part of me can't help but think about the what ifs for my own situation. Then the guilt comes with making it all about me. Then the fear comes back. Then the rational side of me kicks in again. It's all a bit contradictory, I guess.

Ah dude, sorry to hear about that.

It's just natural IMO to think about these things.  Whilst you weren't close you were family.  There's no set pattern or rational on how we should feel when shit like this happens.

[Renton 20177]

Aye, wykiki is spot on. There's no rule book for how you should feel. You feel what you feel, you can't and shouldn't be prescriptive about it. 

[Monkeys Fist 41166]

24 minutes ago, Renton said:

Aye, wykiki is spot on. There's no rule book for how you should feel. You feel what you feel, you can't and shouldn't be prescriptive about it. 

Don’t listen to this bloke Fish, he’s got a “lifestyle” TV for his 2nd (!!!!) Reception room (!!!!!!!!!!!!). 
 

 

 

 

Also, you feel how you feel. 
 

Family you’re not close to is a tricky one, especially if it’s in circumstances outside of the norm. 👍

 

 

Listen to me- I have no reception room, nor tv in it. 

[The Fish 10335]

Just now, Monkeys Fist said:

Don’t listen to this bloke Fish, he’s got a “lifestyle” TV for his 2nd (!!!!) Reception room (!!!!!!!!!!!!). 
 

 

 

 

Also, you feel how you feel. 
 

Family you’re not close to is a tricky one, especially if it’s in circumstances outside of the norm. 👍

 

 

Listen to me- I have no reception room, nor tv in it. 

I was honestly looking on Amazon for a tv for the snug/playroom/2nd reception room, but there was something I saw where basically all of the products get their price hiked a few months before Prime day, then "dropped" back down to around the usual price on the day. I'm not getting got.

 

Is it wrong that I looked at the drive from here to there, (6 hours 44 minutes) and thought "Fuck all of that"? Going to use work and/or childcare worries as the excuse to swerve the funeral.

[Monkeys Fist 41166]

1 hour ago, The Fish said:

Is it wrong that I looked at the drive from here to there, (6 hours 44 minutes) and thought "Fuck all of that"? Going to use work and/or childcare worries as the excuse to swerve the funeral.

Not if you weren’t close, no. 
 

Send a card. 

[The Fish 10335]

29 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said:

Not if you weren’t close, no. 
 

Send a card. 

[Howmanheyman 31169]

Pretty low mood tbh, yes you guessed it, I WALKED OUT FROM ANOTHER JOB. Lots right about it, lots wrong about it but it was criminally underpaid and totally not my thing. The line manager made a song and dance the other week about me going ten minutes early to take the missus to hospital after I'd given him a few days notice and when I put in two separate weeks of holidays, one in August and one in September he said I had to get a week where absolutely nobody was off, (end of October apparently!) I explained that the latter week was where my trainer would be off so it was good thinking but he was full of shit. So a couple of hours later I went back with some gear and told someone in the stores which was still open that I wouldn't be back. Got a phone call from a manager asking me about why I'd left, saying the feedback about me was excellent and saying I could sleep on it and come back tomorrow and he completely agreed with my thinking regarding taking the same week as the lad training me, even said it would be doing them a favour! I explained it was a few things, thanked him for the call, had a bit of crack with him but the die was cast.

 

Am I going through some existential crisis? The missus woke me up going to the toilet around three o'clock and I was awake for at least a couple of hours. Haven't a clue what I'm going to do but I now feel like once was unlucky, twice, should never have taken the job, I knew it was unsustainable and this time? Just took a chance and although it ticked a few boxes it didn't tick quite a few others, (including having a squeaky voiced knacker who I'd have to go cap in hand just for a fucking holiday in the winter months?) Nah.

 

I'm totally aware I'll be ripped to bits by mates which is par for the course and I'll take it in the manner it's meant but it's the family, parents, in-laws etc which is hugely bothering me alongside the fact that I'm starting to feel I can't work again? I'm not being totally precious at work I promise you! I never thought it would be so hard finding the right place. 

[Renton 20177]

3 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said:

Pretty low mood tbh, yes you guessed it, I WALKED OUT FROM ANOTHER JOB. Lots right about it, lots wrong about it but it was criminally underpaid and totally not my thing. The line manager made a song and dance the other week about me going ten minutes early to take the missus to hospital after I'd given him a few days notice and when I put in two separate weeks of holidays, one in August and one in September he said I had to get a week where absolutely nobody was off, (end of October apparently!) I explained that the latter week was where my trainer would be off so it was good thinking but he was full of shit. So a couple of hours later I went back with some gear and told someone in the stores which was still open that I wouldn't be back. Got a phone call from a manager asking me about why I'd left, saying the feedback about me was excellent and saying I could sleep on it and come back tomorrow and he completely agreed with my thinking regarding taking the same week as the lad training me, even said it would be doing them a favour! I explained it was a few things, thanked him for the call, had a bit of crack with him but the die was cast.

 

Am I going through some existential crisis? The missus woke me up going to the toilet around three o'clock and I was awake for at least a couple of hours. Haven't a clue what I'm going to do but I now feel like once was unlucky, twice, should never have taken the job, I knew it was unsustainable and this time? Just took a chance and although it ticked a few boxes it didn't tick quite a few others, (including having a squeaky voiced knacker who I'd have to go cap in hand just for a fucking holiday in the winter months?) Nah.

 

I'm totally aware I'll be ripped to bits by mates which is par for the course and I'll take it in the manner it's meant but it's the family, parents, in-laws etc which is hugely bothering me alongside the fact that I'm starting to feel I can't work again? I'm not being totally precious at work I promise you! I never thought it would be so hard finding the right place. 

 

Do you have the capacity to keep looking for other work whilst you're doing a job it sounds like you hate? Not ideal but my thinking is that it will keep the money coming in which will obviously help you financially and may help with anxiety? The right job will be out there I'm sure but looking for work when you're out of employment can be more difficult in my experience. 

Otherwise is there anyway you can become self employed? Any trade you could learn that uses your skills? 

Fwiw you come across as having a great skillset but perhaps never had the right opportunity to use it (without wanting to sound patronising). For instance, you're a fantastic and funny writer, could definitely have been a journalist imo. Not sure what jobs there are now to utilise this skillset now mind.... 

[Gemmill 42032]

40 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said:

Pretty low mood tbh, yes you guessed it, I WALKED OUT FROM ANOTHER JOB. Lots right about it, lots wrong about it but it was criminally underpaid and totally not my thing. The line manager made a song and dance the other week about me going ten minutes early to take the missus to hospital after I'd given him a few days notice and when I put in two separate weeks of holidays, one in August and one in September he said I had to get a week where absolutely nobody was off, (end of October apparently!) I explained that the latter week was where my trainer would be off so it was good thinking but he was full of shit. So a couple of hours later I went back with some gear and told someone in the stores which was still open that I wouldn't be back. Got a phone call from a manager asking me about why I'd left, saying the feedback about me was excellent and saying I could sleep on it and come back tomorrow and he completely agreed with my thinking regarding taking the same week as the lad training me, even said it would be doing them a favour! I explained it was a few things, thanked him for the call, had a bit of crack with him but the die was cast.

 

Am I going through some existential crisis? The missus woke me up going to the toilet around three o'clock and I was awake for at least a couple of hours. Haven't a clue what I'm going to do but I now feel like once was unlucky, twice, should never have taken the job, I knew it was unsustainable and this time? Just took a chance and although it ticked a few boxes it didn't tick quite a few others, (including having a squeaky voiced knacker who I'd have to go cap in hand just for a fucking holiday in the winter months?) Nah.

 

I'm totally aware I'll be ripped to bits by mates which is par for the course and I'll take it in the manner it's meant but it's the family, parents, in-laws etc which is hugely bothering me alongside the fact that I'm starting to feel I can't work again? I'm not being totally precious at work I promise you! I never thought it would be so hard finding the right place. 

 

Aye I don't really have an answer beyond "if at all possible, don't quit til you've found something else", but I know you wouldn't be doing that if you didn't think that the situation had become intolerable. 

 

You do probably need to start thinking about how this is gonna look when you apply for other jobs though, as it will become a factor in their decision if they think they might be looking for someone else a month down the line. 

 

I think you were in your old job a long time (is that right?). Do you think that maybe the way employers treat people has shifted while you've been there, but it hasn't impacted you cos you were comfortable there and knew what worked and what didn't, and what you could get away with? And since you've left, you're the new boy so a) you're getting the shitty end of the stick for a bit anyway, and b) these people just operate differently now cos of the shift in worker rights. 

 

Not suggesting that it's OK that the way employers treat people has shifted btw, but it might be something that you're gonna find everywhere you go. It might be that your tolerance for feeling like an employer is taking the piss out of you needs to be recalibrated, because unless there is something you could do self employed*, there's always some cunt sat above you, trying to make their life easier by making your life harder. 

 

None of these are good answers, and I hope you take them in the spirit intended. When I was working for a start up recently and it genuinely looked like it was all gonna fall over, the prospect of going through an interview and assessment process terrified me - I just knew I couldn't be arsed with it. 

 

50s/approaching 50s is a really fucking shit time to suddenly find yourself having to look for work. 

 

 

*being self employed is no bed of roses either obviously. 

[wykikitoon 19148]

45 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said:

Pretty low mood tbh, yes you guessed it, I WALKED OUT FROM ANOTHER JOB. Lots right about it, lots wrong about it but it was criminally underpaid and totally not my thing. The line manager made a song and dance the other week about me going ten minutes early to take the missus to hospital after I'd given him a few days notice and when I put in two separate weeks of holidays, one in August and one in September he said I had to get a week where absolutely nobody was off, (end of October apparently!) I explained that the latter week was where my trainer would be off so it was good thinking but he was full of shit. So a couple of hours later I went back with some gear and told someone in the stores which was still open that I wouldn't be back. Got a phone call from a manager asking me about why I'd left, saying the feedback about me was excellent and saying I could sleep on it and come back tomorrow and he completely agreed with my thinking regarding taking the same week as the lad training me, even said it would be doing them a favour! I explained it was a few things, thanked him for the call, had a bit of crack with him but the die was cast.

 

Am I going through some existential crisis? The missus woke me up going to the toilet around three o'clock and I was awake for at least a couple of hours. Haven't a clue what I'm going to do but I now feel like once was unlucky, twice, should never have taken the job, I knew it was unsustainable and this time? Just took a chance and although it ticked a few boxes it didn't tick quite a few others, (including having a squeaky voiced knacker who I'd have to go cap in hand just for a fucking holiday in the winter months?) Nah.

 

I'm totally aware I'll be ripped to bits by mates which is par for the course and I'll take it in the manner it's meant but it's the family, parents, in-laws etc which is hugely bothering me alongside the fact that I'm starting to feel I can't work again? I'm not being totally precious at work I promise you! I never thought it would be so hard finding the right place. 

Bah that's wank.

I was in a similar situation.  Moved around a bit, probably avg stay at a compamy was 2 years at one point.  First company I was at I was there for 9 years, then left as I needed to feel I could do it without my safety net of lads I worked with and who taught me etc.  For the next few years I was never settled.  Loads of workshy cunts bothered me.  I had come from a company where pretty much everyone grafted and we had a great bond.  So that was hard for me leaving a company I had been at for a decent whack to then go to new places and they had different ethics.

My current place I am getting fucked off with at the moment. Main guy is sound AF and I get on really well with him, but he's not great at organising or managing.  But that's why he has senior people to help him with that.  Anyways one lad who I got on really well with on a personal level is one absolute workshy knacker.  Our main line manager is fucking useless and couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery.  We have a number of jobs to deliver before end of Sept and they pay fuck all yet they have me on them and I've told them I can't do any other work whilst I'm on them.  Yet it goes in one ear and out the other.  I'm now at a point now IDGAF.  I do my hours and that's it.  I do four day weeks and this line manager has never appreciated that.

 

I am at a point now.  Do I look for work elsewhere, or just stick here and go through the motions as I get paid well and I get on with everyone.  Its in a nice place to work and I am pretty much my own gaffer in most ways.  But really I work on shit projects that give me fuck all satisfaction.

 

Anyways, back to  you  You'll get something you'll enjoy I don't doubt that, but like Gemmill said just think how things may look on the old CV and if you're in an incestuous industry word may get around.

[Howmanheyman 31169]

30 minutes ago, Renton said:

 

Do you have the capacity to keep looking for other work whilst you're doing a job it sounds like you hate? Not ideal but my thinking is that it will keep the money coming in which will obviously help you financially and may help with anxiety? The right job will be out there I'm sure but looking for work when you're out of employment can be more difficult in my experience. 

Otherwise is there anyway you can become self employed? Any trade you could learn that uses your skills? 

Fwiw you come across as having a great skillset but perhaps never had the right opportunity to use it (without wanting to sound patronising). For instance, you're a fantastic and funny writer, could definitely have been a journalist imo. Not sure what jobs there are now to utilise this skillset now mind.... 

 

I had considered just staying and putting up with it till I found something else but the money was shocking anyway and I'd be better off preparing for something else when I had more time to do it properly.

[Howmanheyman 31169]

11 minutes ago, Gemmill said:

 

Aye I don't really have an answer beyond "if at all possible, don't quit til you've found something else", but I know you wouldn't be doing that if you didn't think that the situation had become intolerable. 

 

You do probably need to start thinking about how this is gonna look when you apply for other jobs though, as it will become a factor in their decision if they think they might be looking for someone else a month down the line. 

 

I think you were in your old job a long time (is that right?). Do you think that maybe the way employers treat people has shifted while you've been there, but it hasn't impacted you cos you were comfortable there and knew what worked and what didn't, and what you could get away with? And since you've left, you're the new boy so a) you're getting the shitty end of the stick for a bit anyway, and b) these people just operate differently now cos of the shift in worker rights. 

 

Not suggesting that it's OK that the way employers treat people has shifted btw, but it might be something that you're gonna find everywhere you go. It might be that your tolerance for feeling like an employer is taking the piss out of you needs to be recalibrated, because unless there is something you could do self employed*, there's always some cunt sat above you, trying to make their life easier by making your life harder. 

 

None of these are good answers, and I hope you take them in the spirit intended. When I was working for a start up recently and it genuinely looked like it was all gonna fall over, the prospect of going through an interview and assessment process terrified me - I just knew I couldn't be arsed with it. 

 

50s/approaching 50s is a really fucking shit time to suddenly find yourself having to look for work. 

 

 

*being self employed is no bed of roses either obviously. 

 

 

I certainly didn't and won't put these short stints on my CV!

 

I'm obviously institutionalised and deep down know that unless I'm lucky enough to find my niche then I need to do something totally different but then again, you've got to get a totally different job with no experience or go it alone but I have no trade and am nearly fifty one. 

 

There's no easy answers and I'm just venting to be honest as life starts to get shitter now knowing what's around the corner at some point with parents, the wife needs more care/appointments etc and I'm not in a job where I can sort a temporary or permanent change in my contract with goodwill/good experience in the bank as that's now gone.

 

Carry on, I've got it off my chest for now.

[spongebob toonpants 3822]

I'm 62 and I've worked in logistics since I left University, the last 30 years in management 

Got made redundant last year had 4 months off, got bored saw an advert on the back of a bus looking for bus drivers and thought hmm always fancied driving something big about

Filled in the online form thinking they would just ignore it as I was so old

 

Anyway now got my PCV license and am happily driving buses around Brighton. Not sure if it's something  you'd try but honestly it's a pretty stress free job, and the vast majority of it is out by yourself driving about

 

[Gemmill 42032]

Harder to just walk out when you've got a full bus too. Could be on to something here.

 

[Renton 20177]

28 minutes ago, Gemmill said:

there's always some cunt sat above you, trying to make their life easier by making your life harder

 

27 minutes ago, wykikitoon said:

Bah that's wank.

I was in a similar situation.  Moved around a bit, probably avg stay at a compamy was 2 years at one point.  First company I was at I was there for 9 years, then left as I needed to feel I could do it without my safety net of lads I worked with and who taught me etc.  For the next few years I was never settled.  Loads of workshy cunts bothered me.  I had come from a company where pretty much everyone grafted and we had a great bond.  So that was hard for me leaving a company I had been at for a decent whack to then go to new places and they had different ethics.

My current place I am getting fucked off with at the moment. Main guy is sound AF and I get on really well with him, but he's not great at organising or managing.  But that's why he has senior people to help him with that.  Anyways one lad who I got on really well with on a personal level is one absolute workshy knacker.  Our main line manager is fucking useless and couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery.  We have a number of jobs to deliver before end of Sept and they pay fuck all yet they have me on them and I've told them I can't do any other work whilst I'm on them.  Yet it goes in one ear and out the other.  I'm now at a point now IDGAF.  I do my hours and that's it.  I do four day weeks and this line manager has never appreciated that.

 

I am at a point now.  Do I look for work elsewhere, or just stick here and go through the motions as I get paid well and I get on with everyone.  Its in a nice place to work and I am pretty much my own gaffer in most ways.  But really I work on shit projects that give me fuck all satisfaction.

 

Anyways, back to  you  You'll get something you'll enjoy I don't doubt that, but like Gemmill said just think how things may look on the old CV and if you're in an incestuous industry word may get around.

 

That sounds incredibly similar to me. I am at a job now with a fucking terrible manager. I can basically do what the fuck I like, nothing if I want, which sounds great. But I just feel completely unproductive, achieving a fraction of what I did in the NHS. My experience is its the prviate sector who are work shy lazy, incompetent twats, not the public sector. Anyway, problem is I know I am very expensive, my rate is £2000 a day (not my salary unfortunately). I am nowhere near delivering this level of value to clients under my current management, in fact I struggle to see how I am making enough value to even cover my salary. As a result I am more or less in a constant flux of anxiety and guilt, especially as there has been extensive redundancies. 

 

I've been trying to get back into the NHS, willing to take a substantial pay cut for more work!, but I'm either facing blatant ageism or in my field at my level its just a closed shop. I address all the questions in the applications thoroughly, completely evidenced. I know I am better than the people there. I either just get the usual "Sorry you've been unsuccessful" shit back with no feedback , hear nothing at all, or get told its an internal post despite the fact its advertised externally. Ah well fuck it, I know it could be a lot worse. Can't wait to reture tbh. 

[Howmanheyman 31169]

15 minutes ago, spongebob toonpants said:

I'm 62 and I've worked in logistics since I left University, the last 30 years in management 

Got made redundant last year had 4 months off, got bored saw an advert on the back of a bus looking for bus drivers and thought hmm always fancied driving something big about

Filled in the online form thinking they would just ignore it as I was so old

 

Anyway now got my PCV license and am happily driving buses around Brighton. Not sure if it's something  you'd try but honestly it's a pretty stress free job, and the vast majority of it is out by yourself driving about

 

 

If they still had the wives who'd take the money with their little ticket machine around their necks I'd probably go for this but apart from the unsociable shifts which I'm determined not to do anymore I'd say there's a difference driving a bus around Brighton and possibly Shields Road or something?

[spongebob toonpants 3822]

Yea shifts are a bit daunting but I'm on 4on 4 off with a 6 day break once a month, which is quite civilised 

Pretty sure I'd think differently about the whole thing if I wasn't just doing it to fill in time til I properly retire in a couple of years

[Howmanheyman 31169]

5 minutes ago, spongebob toonpants said:

Yea shifts are a bit daunting but I'm on 4on 4 off with a 6 day break once a month, which is quite civilised 

Pretty sure I'd think differently about the whole thing if I wasn't just doing it to fill in time til I properly retire in a couple of years

 

I've applied to talk about the possibility of being self employed with DPD, it's early days and you hear the horror stories but it might actually work for me for where I'm at now? I don't know, I'll see what happens if they get back to me?

[Gemmill 42032]

17 minutes ago, Renton said:

 

 

That sounds incredibly similar to me. I am at a job now with a fucking terrible manager. I can basically do what the fuck I like, nothing if I want, which sounds great. But I just feel completely unproductive, achieving a fraction of what I did in the NHS. My experience is its the prviate sector who are work shy lazy, incompetent twats, not the public sector. Anyway, problem is I know I am very expensive, my rate is £2000 a day (not my salary unfortunately). I am nowhere near delivering this level of value to clients under my current management, in fact I struggle to see how I am making enough value to even cover my salary. As a result I am more or less in a constant flux of anxiety and guilt, especially as there has been extensive redundancies. 

 

I've been trying to get back into the NHS, willing to take a substantial pay cut for more work!, but I'm either facing blatant ageism or in my field at my level its just a closed shop. I address all the questions in the applications thoroughly, completely evidenced. I know I am better than the people there. I either just get the usual "Sorry you've been unsuccessful" shit back with no feedback , hear nothing at all, or get told its an internal post despite the fact its advertised externally. Ah well fuck it, I know it could be a lot worse. Can't wait to reture tbh. 

 

Could you not do some of the stuff you're doing, but as a self employed consultant? So you could get a lot closer to your day rate being your actual salary?

[spongebob toonpants 3822]

7 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said:

 

I've applied to talk about the possibility of being self employed with DPD, it's early days and you hear the horror stories but it might actually work for me for where I'm at now? I don't know, I'll see what happens if they get back to me?

Hah DPD are the cunts who bought out my company then made me redundant, corporate no nothing pen pushing cunts

[Renton 20177]

11 minutes ago, Gemmill said:

 

Could you not do some of the stuff you're doing, but as a self employed consultant? So you could get a lot closer to your day rate being your actual salary?

 

I discussed it with the champagne enema guy once. It's possible and I do know some people who do this. But I just lack confidence and just cannot sell myself. But the main barrier is I'm part of a team and I need statistical and modelling support. I'm good, but not good enough to do everything! The clients are huge multi-national pharma companie like GSK and Roche, so doubt they would trust someone on his tod at home. I could probably support some "Dragon's Den" MedTech start ups but again, that's just not intellectually challenging and I'm back to square one. Anyway, seems ridiculous complaining considering the context of the thread. Probably less than 10 years retirement and then I have sweet, sweet death to look forward to.

 

[Howmanheyman 31169]

12 minutes ago, spongebob toonpants said:

Hah DPD are the cunts who bought out my company then made me redundant, corporate no nothing pen pushing cunts

 

So that's a not a recommendation, then? 

[RobinRobin 10587]

4 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said:

 

So that's a not a recommendation, then? 

Depends whether you can push a pen. 👍 

[Renton 20177]

There's loads of horror stories from delivery drivers like. Honestly, before CT pipes up, taxiing might be a better option.....

[spongebob toonpants 3822]

1 minute ago, Howmanheyman said:

 

So that's a not a recommendation, then? 

If you get a decent round it's not a bad job, but it's pretty unforgiving and can be brutal

I was involved in the sameday side rather than the multidrop route aspect though so different strokes really

I will say though that it does suit a lot of drivers, hard work though