What mood are you in and why?

[catmag 337]

one would think the mental health worker should have access to the patients detailed history or at least read it once?

 

I hardly think you're in any way qualified or even feel the need to help in any positive way here, therefore it's probably best if you just stay out of it.

[desmondTUTU 0]

 

I hardly think you're in any way qualified or even feel the need to help in any positive way here, therefore it's probably best if you just stay out of it.

 

How would you know that?

 

 

[catmag 337]

 

How would you know that?

 

 

 

Just a hunch. I'm perfectly happy to be proved wrong.

[desmondTUTU 0]

if i told you my thoughts about you on a hunch you would be in tears

[Tom 14011]

To be honest - this is a serious discussion and you're a gas man.

 

So either keep out of it and let Rob pick up some good advice or I'll remove you from the equation myself, understood?

[catmag 337]

if i told you my thoughts about you on a hunch you would be in tears

 

If I hover my mouse over a button on the internet you'd be gone in a second.

 

Rob - I can only reiterate what other have already said. Please please just talk to someone - anyone at all. Your parents would be heartbroken to think you were feeling like this and couldn't tell them, but sometimes it's easier to start with telling someone whom you don't know. Once you say it out loud you'll hopefully feel some of the burden lift. I really hope things start to get better soon.

[luckyluke 2]

Rob - I'm a doctor and I can only endorse what everyone else has said. Please seek professional help ASAP. No matter how bad things seem to be, there is always a way to get around them.

[CleeToonFan 1]

I had a similar experience last October to Decemberish, I went to about 5 lectures at Uni my first term last year and barely went out my room, feeling shit all the time. I didnt tell anyone and was very lucky that mine wasnt as severe as yours sounds and improved incrementally, I sometimes feel depressed now but it's improved massively! It's obvious mine was nothing on what you're feeling but damn I wish I'd have spoken to someone. Please do mate and I hope it works out!

[luckyluke 2]

Waste of money them boats man

[CleeToonFan 1]

Disgusting amount of grey on that chart

[tooner 243]

stoked/nervous/excited/scared....missus is due on the 2nd, my money is on the 10th. Just wish it would all happen right now i'm over this waiting crap.

[Happy Face 29]

Just catching up with this thread. Brilliant place this like. Mint that a young lad feeling he has no-one to take him seriously can admit whats going on in his life to a load of strangers with a degree of anonymity and get some wise advice, hopefully providing his first step to a full recovery. Best of luck with it mate. Don't let us be the only people you talk to if it's made you feel a little better. Make sure you parlay the moment of candour and speak to professionals. Best of luck.

[Happy Face 29]

But enough about ant and his sleep trouble. Rob h, I think you should talk to someone too.

 

[ChezGiven 0]

Totally agree, good luck sorting things out Rob. There are some people with expertise and experience in this area on this forum so listen to them. I guess the hard thing will be taking that first step to getting some help. Hope you posting on here helps you do that.

[Park Life 71]

You'd probably be suprised to know that this happens to a lot of poeple when they go to University...The pressure goes up a notch and expectations rise. Also you're getting to an age where you're beginning to question your own motivations and who you 'really' are, so the autopilot is off and this is the first taste of flying solo.

 

I don't know how old you are but if you're not happy with your course then change it, there is plenty of time and Uni is a very important period for self-development.

 

What comes through is that you've tried to communicate your feelings, but in drunken situations this is hopeless and your Uni mates won't take any of it seriously. It might also be that you are worried of telling your parents that you're failing or unhappy - this is the kind of stuff that mothers are good at...Try and talk to your mother alone instead of making it a big family thing...There will be less pressure and mothers are much more understanding...

 

Ok. the simple fixes...

 

Make a list of all your worries/failings and against them what you're going to do about it.

 

Even if at first this feels pointless it will help take my word for it. Then every day try and do one of the fixes. One fix a day not all. ie Laying in bed too long and that impacting on your self-worth. FIX: Get up and go for a brisk 15-20m walk. (I still do that sometimes)...

 

Keep a diary of how that's going and note down what changed in your thought patterns when you tried to do one of the fixes...Depression brings with it recurring thought patterns about bad outcomes, often based in past experiences...The brain is a boring old bio-chemical engine and just pumps out chemicals according to what it's experiences are.....

 

............The key is to detach from this..You aren't your thoughts, thoughts aren't really real BUT have a big impact on how you feel...It takes practice but you need to sit back away from these recurring thoughts and maintain a distance...Laugh at them if you can..They aren't really you its just an engine that makes chemicals all day..It's not as real as it feels and when you start to impose yourself on these thoughts you'll see how quickly you can change them...Replace them with postive thoughts from past experiences or displace them with an activity...

 

These are just some simple things you can do to start to take control back.

 

Look into seeing the cousellor at the Uni or go t the doc and get a therapist (these days therapists are brilliant)...

Drink less coffee and beer.

Eat at set times (wth others if possible).

Get a girlfriend.

Stop supporting NUFC.

[RobH 0]

Thanks everyone. As I suspected you're good people. It's pretty clear what I need to do now.

[sweetleftpeg 0]

Good luck Rob, I've got a very close family member who was diagnosed a decade ago and has had ups and downs..still does..but is doing brilliantly now. For those with severe cases of depression it's not about a 'cure', it's about coping mechanisms. I highly recommend this book, they gave it to me to explain how they felt because they couldn't say it..

 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Had-Black-Dog-Matthew-Johnstone/dp/1845295897

[Ayatollah Hermione 13863]

Thanks everyone. As I suspected you're good people. It's pretty clear what I need to do now.

 

Hope you can get it all sorted in due time, mate. My friend went through something a bit similar following the start of University and his dad falling ill and through talking it through a lot (both with his mates/gf and with professionals), he realised that the course he was on, wasn't something he wanted to do. Luckily, he found what he wanted to do and did it so there's plenty of help out there, it's just taking the first step in seeking it.

[Park Life 71]

 

Hope you can get it all sorted in due time, mate. My friend went through something a bit similar following the start of University and his dad falling ill and through talking it through a lot (both with his mates/gf and with professionals), he realised that the course he was on, wasn't something he wanted to do. Luckily, he found what he wanted to do and did it so there's plenty of help out there, it's just taking the first step in seeking it.

The first steps are key. It takes a huge amount of weight off the shoulders...You stop feeling like you're fighting alone.

[Tooj 17]

Thanks everyone. As I suspected you're good people. It's pretty clear what I need to do now.

 

Late to the party here but I hope you can get yourself sorted man and I wish you all of the best luck in the world in doing so.

[JawD 99]

Aye just echoing whats already said. Speak to your doctor, speak to your parents. While those are the biggest two steps you will take, they are also the two biggest barriers. Hopefully talking about it to both will take a big weight off you and set you on the road to recovery.

 

Oh and I'll add, depression is hugely common and sadly still largely misunderstood. Your mind is bloody powerful and its scary what it can do as you've seen for yourself. But its not a dead end nor a downward spiral. Lots of help out there. Good luck

[The Fish 10857]

Thanks everyone. As I suspected you're good people. It's pretty clear what I need to do now.

 

Echoing what's been said, but my depression first really manifested when I was at Uni and I, like you, didn't know how to move forward with it and spent hours alone in my room avoiding people and getting into bad health habits. The advice below is bob-on for my situation and was pretty much what the GP suggested. I didn't go down the SSRI route because I didn't feel it would help me in my situation and both the GP and Mental Health professional I spoke to agreed with that, but it certainly helped my sister who also suffers.

 

 

Go to your GP first and foremost. There doesn't need to be a reason behind you feeling depressed

 

 

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endogenous_depression

 

Don't be scared by the terminology. It basically means some people become depressed despite having perfectly happy lives. Some depression management through the local psychology service, cutting back on alcohol and, if necessary further down the line, an SSRI (anti depressant) will have you feeling a lot better by Xmas

 

I've lived a rosy life and it hit me hard, so tutu is dead wrong about there needing to be a reason for your depression. A close friend was adamant that there must be and spent so much time trying to get to the bottom of my depression, it was frustrating for both of us and it was only after I spoke to the Student Counsellor and then the GP that it was clear to me that there doesn't have to be anything else.

 

Also, I have to give you credit, it takes bravery to speak of it on an open forum, certainly more bravery than I had at the time.

[catmag 337]

Fish, you have a sensitive side! You've just gone up in my estimation

 

In all seriousness, I'm also glad that things are better for you too

[Monkeys Fist 42428]

Fish's jokes depress the shite out of me

[LoveTheBobby 1]

@@Rob

Parky makes a good point about pressures and personal expectations - and of others - when at Uni .

I took a real knock in my final year (of 4) and was going to jack it all because my final project was going shit . There was a couple of us that went off the rails a bit and just went on a week long bender .

Granted, probably not the best idea at the time but it was the default option !

Thoroughly miserable time as along with the usual student stuff of being skint, thinking ahead at career prospects etc. I really felt the expectations of my folks and my grandad (who doted on me, and I him) had died during the summer prior to the final year and I was wanting to 'do it for him' etc.

During our spell getting fucked up I felt really really low . All sorts of scenarios go through your mind as it races all over the place and it's difficult to break the cyclic thoughts . Its very tiring mentally - which only adds to the problem .

Frustrated and frayed I felt nobody could/would really understand and kept it all in too long . I stopped at the other lads' house just to get away from the routine.

Living on fried egg sarnies (Scouse kid had a life skill of engineering the setting egg in the pan with a spatula to make it rectangular to suit whatever sliced bread was available ) , fizzy piss and shit drugs. The heating was knackered , the rooms were all damp and the room I kipped in was a bare mattress and no curtains . I actually spent many a tormented hour lying there staring at a dried cat shit that was in the corner of the room

As mad as it sounds it was that cat shit that got me back on track as I eventually asked myself what I was playing at lying there 'talking' to it with only a few months of the course to go . I decided to just finish it and see what happened .

I'm not being unsympathetic in saying that by any means, quite the converse as I can totally relate to your current strife . What Im saying is - it often just needs a daft something to alter the whole picture .

The one thing to remember (easier said than done at the time I know) is that nothing stays the same and things always work themselves out .

Try and take a step back from the immediacy of your situation to reset the perspective . Break the cycle by changing your routine in some way . As said by others exercise , fresh air etc. will be a massive help .

It can all become pretty intense what with sharing a house with folk probably on your course and talking shop all the time, missing home/family/mates.

I spoke to my folks first about how I felt and it was very cathartic after bottling it up for months , I then spoke to the course leader who wasn't much help to be honest but said to travel back up home for a few days which helped talking it through and getting away from the regular pattern that was exacerbating the problem at the time . Talking face to face rather than over the phone really helped .

All the best with it mate .

...Y'll be a'reet