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Newcastle Report Card


Christmas Tree
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Mike Ashley D

 

Let's just say stabalised his mistakes by appointing Hughton, backing him in January and not selling off any decent players in January.

 

Not enough marks to graduate so will await outcome of summer school.

 

 

Derek Llambias U

 

A man so far out of his depth he needs a submarine. Only redeeming feature is that for the most part, he's kept quiet.

 

With a little luck he'll be off to special school in the summer.

 

 

Favourite player

 

Has to be Wayne Routledge not only for his slide rule passes but also for the lift he's given the team.

 

 

Biggest dissappointment

 

Tin hat on but all things considered it has to be Jonas. This season and in this league he should have really being the star player by a country mile. Seems to make the hard things easy and the easy things hard. With a bit of luck we can off load him in the summer and unearth another routledge.

 

Most improved player

 

Has to be Carroll. Has kept his confidence while it was working and now seems a much stronger confident striker.

 

 

 

Chris Hughton A

 

Done everything that was asked in an extremely dignified manner. Has mouthed off to the press and gone on an ego trip just kept it nice and simple. Also created a very good camp spirit.

 

Big challenges ahead but definately an A

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Mike Ashley F-

Arrived - Thank christ for that, no need to worry about our debts any more. Legend

Stand with fans & Pint downed - strange decision...but legend still

Appoint Keegan - Absolute Legend

Appoint wise - strange decision, but still a legend

Sack Keegan - Woah, you wanker what the fuck? OK Keegan was unreasonable. Benefit of the doubt.

Appoint Kinnear - Howay man dipshit! What you deein?

Sell Given & Nzogbia - This is getting stupid. Is he trying to get us relegated? I'm going to set up a blog to compare what he says and what he does because they seem completely disparate.

Appoint Shearer - right, now he realises. Howay the lads!

Relegation (club for sale) - good riddance.

Keegan Tribunbal - Christ i knew he was a liar, but that takes the biscuit.

Off the market - You utter fucktard. No mangerial decision, no chance for the manager to mould his squad. How incompetent can you be?

Stadium Name - Now he's just taking the piss.

January deals - That could get us automatically promoted or even win us the championship. Good work.

 

 

Derek Llambias U

No redeeming features watsoever

 

 

Favourite player

Enrique. Loved what he said in the papers the other week about staying where he's loved.

 

Biggest dissappointment

Barton. Thought he could keep his head down in this division, play a lot of games and go back up a settled player. I can't see him ever settling in our team now.

 

Most improved player

Guthrie. Most consistent assist provider in the team.

 

Chris Hughton B+

At this level with a squad head and shoulders above everything else he's done all that was needed of him

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Just done enough but can do ALOT better!

 

Next season need to build on the foundations put in place this year.

 

Need to be more consistent.

 

Mike Ashley...Stil a fat cockney wanker but has stabelised the clubs finances (we think) not done anything stupid this season and backed CH. If he is to be here next year then he HAS to invest a sizeable amount into the team following promotion.

 

Derek Llambias....Complete rat! Get Chris Mort back or at least someone decent, honest, sensible and with a brain.

 

Chris Hughton...Found his level...good CC manager...will be found out in the PL...

 

Squad...On the whole the dquad has been pretty impressive in ways of how they have stuck together, faught ;) an ground out important results. Particular highlights have been the improvement of Carroll, Kadar and Guthrie, The signings of Routledge and Wlliamson, while i dont think WR is as great as CT does he will do well in PL and is what we've needed for a long time. MW looks very able and could be good cover/rotation at CB.

 

Enrique and Jonas have linked well on the left, built a good understanding and have both improved.

 

Coloccini looking more settled and composed, lets hope he can take it into the PL...we will see.

 

All in all been a good season but so it should be, we are in the CCC!

 

Onwards and upwards...11th place finished next season.

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Can we not rename this thread the "Christmas Tree Propaganda Thread" and give you free reign to post whatever pro-Ashley nonsense you like in here but keep it out of the rest of the board?

 

 

Obsessed verging on stalking ;)

 

You could have at least put some views on the team ffs.

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Ashley - shite

Llambias - shite

Hughton - OK

This thread - shite

 

Kitman C. --- Is capable of much better.

 

 

Seriously, it's the weekend and some of us are stuck in a Small black cab in the middle / end of a recession with nowt better to do!!!!!

 

Somebody start some other threads!!!! I'll rattle on about anything.

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Ashley - shite

Llambias - shite

Hughton - OK

This thread - shite

 

Kitman C. --- Is capable of much better.

 

 

Seriously, it's the weekend and some of us are stuck in a Small black cab in the middle / end of a recession with nowt better to do!!!!!

 

Somebody start some other threads!!!! I'll rattle on about anything.

How about the " What I would do to Nicole Kidman on a stranded yacht" thread?

;)

might pass a minute or two for you in a dark alley?

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Ashley - shite

Llambias - shite

Hughton - OK

This thread - shite

 

Kitman C. --- Is capable of much better.

 

 

Seriously, it's the weekend and some of us are stuck in a Small black cab in the middle / end of a recession with nowt better to do!!!!!

 

Somebody start some other threads!!!! I'll rattle on about anything.

You could always respond to acrossthepond in the as good as it gets thread ;)

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Ashley - shite

Llambias - shite

Hughton - OK

This thread - shite

 

Kitman C. --- Is capable of much better.

 

 

Seriously, it's the weekend and some of us are stuck in a Small black cab in the middle / end of a recession with nowt better to do!!!!!

 

Somebody start some other threads!!!! I'll rattle on about anything.

How about the " What I would do to Nicole Kidman on a stranded yacht" thread?

;)

might pass a minute or two for you in a dark alley?

 

Ymmmmmmmm and heads for you tube......

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Ashley - E+

Llambias - U

Hughton - B

Team - B

Best player - Honour shared between Enrique & Colo

Surprise package - Andy Carroll for obvious reasons. Honourable mention to Wayne Routledge, who I didn't think much off when we signed him but he's been very good.

Worst player - Nicky Butt. Random overhead kicks aside he's been pish. Too old, too slow. Past it.

 

Overall - B-

Edited by Ketsbaia
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Ashley - shite

Llambias - shite

Hughton - OK

This thread - shite

 

Kitman C. --- Is capable of much better.

 

 

Seriously, it's the weekend and some of us are stuck in a Small black cab in the middle / end of a recession with nowt better to do!!!!!

 

Somebody start some other threads!!!! I'll rattle on about anything.

You could always respond to acrossthepond in the as good as it gets thread :icon_lol:

 

nothing to respond too really, it's just angry man rant stuff....again.

 

Just like all his contributions ( again in this thread). Nothing on topic, just a rant.

 

Feel free to chat with him tho ;)

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Ashley - shite

Llambias - shite

Hughton - OK

This thread - shite

 

Kitman C. --- Is capable of much better.

 

 

Seriously, it's the weekend and some of us are stuck in a Small black cab in the middle / end of a recession with nowt better to do!!!!!

 

Somebody start some other threads!!!! I'll rattle on about anything.

You could always respond to acrossthepond in the as good as it gets thread :icon_lol:

 

nothing to respond too really, it's just angry man rant stuff....again.

 

Just like all his contributions ( again in this thread). Nothing on topic, just a rant.

 

Feel free to chat with him tho ;)

Avoiding direct questions and reducing threads to tedious look-at-me rubble...... Fop-esque tbh.

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Ashley - shite

Llambias - shite

Hughton - OK

This thread - shite

 

Kitman C. --- Is capable of much better.

 

 

Seriously, it's the weekend and some of us are stuck in a Small black cab in the middle / end of a recession with nowt better to do!!!!!

 

Somebody start some other threads!!!! I'll rattle on about anything.

You could always respond to acrossthepond in the as good as it gets thread :icon_lol:

 

nothing to respond too really, it's just angry man rant stuff....again.

 

Just like all his contributions ( again in this thread). Nothing on topic, just a rant.

 

Feel free to chat with him tho ;)

Avoiding direct questions and reducing threads to tedious look-at-me rubble...... Fop-esque tbh.

 

Now your being fop-esque......Just had a look and sure atp doesnt ask me one direct question in his post. How abouts you tootles over there and find it for me

 

:doh::rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes::nufc::whistle: :whistle:

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i'd give ashley an E. since the massive fuckup last season, he's done what is needed to make sure we fight for a top two spot. decent investment in jan. not selling our better players despite the fact they're on big wages. would have been a higher grade if not for the details of the of disaster last season, keeping Llambias on the payroll and the stadium name change debacle.

 

hughton definitely gets an A*. not many of us gave him a chance. he's exceeded all of our expectations. if we go up as champions, even beter.

 

Llambias definitely gets the failing grade. muppet. get rid

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