peasepud 59 Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Brian McNally - Mirror The bare-faced cheek of Newcastle United managing director Derek Llambias and his boss Mike Ashley regularly attracts unflattering comparisons on Tyneside with Peckham brothers Del Boy and Rodney. More front than Brighton is an expression coined by the Toon Army long before the Tyneside comedy double act's little wager that ended with Llambias cavorting around St. James' Park in his birthday suit during a private party. Once they were branded as "Cockney Mafia"- geographically inaccurate I should point out - by protesting Geordie fans in the wake of Kevin Keegan's departure in September 2008 it seemed their days on Tyneside were decidedly numbered. But, incredibly, almost a year on from Keegan's departure two of the most despised football men in British football still own and run Newcastle United. That, despite, twice putting the club up for sale, isolating Geordie legends Keegan and Alan Shearer, selling a raft of star players including fans' hero Shay Given, making hundreds of staff redundant, and, in the process,suffering scathing and unrelenting criticism over the course of the most depressing 12 months in Newcastle's 117-year history. Survival in this hostile climate is possibly the most noteworthy feat of their troubled time at St. James' Park. A play lampooning the Ashley-Llambias axis "You Couldn't Make It Up" perfectly captured the mood of farcical chaos that surrounds the two men. In trying to sell the club they have issued more deadlines than a 24-hour rolling news channel and broken every one of them. They have made public statements that don't even stand up to the flimsiest of examinations. Take the strange case of the Shearer snub. At the end of last season Llambias said: "We want him to be the manager 110%," while Ashley insisted that making Shearer interim manager was his "best decision." They then completely ignored both Shearer and their previous statements to leave the club in limbo. Then there is the mystery of the disappearing buyers. Ashley and co are still unable to find a purchaser for the club, despite Llambias publicly claiming in July that "more than two" bidders had matched the £100 million asking price. So if Llambias' claim was correct seven weeks ago they there had at least three buyers-where are they now? And why is he still asking £100m after selling nearly £25m worth of stock in the shape of Oba Martins, Sebastien Bassong, Damien Duff and Habib Beye? We now find that Newcastle have been talking to Tyneside businessman Barry Moat, Graham Roberts Fanbase 410 outfit and Geoff Sheard, whose attempts to buy Sheffield Wednesday came to naught last season, none of whom had the necessary funds ready available. A proud club has been made a laughing stock by a clueless, spineless administration that seems incapable of getting the simplest decision right or providing fans with even the most basic level of communication. It saddens me that a club with such passionate and loyal supporters is run with an ineptitude that would be embarrassing even at Sunday League level. The Toon army deserve far better. Even Ashley has admitted to a catalogue of basic errors that painfully illustrate that both he and Llambias don't have a clue how to run a professional football club. Ashley may know how to pile his sports goods high and sell them cheaply, while Llambias can spin a roulette wheel and run a casino. But the horrendous mess they have made of "running" Newcastle United over the last two years has plummeted the club into an unparallelled decline. Never in all my time in football I have never encountered a club so chaotically and pathetically run as Ashley's Newcastle United. Is it any wonder that potential buyers question a club that is put up for sale by email, where the owner swigs beer in the stands and challenges his MD to streak around an empty stadium. The only streak the Toon Army are dreaming of now, apart from a winning one, is the sight of a pair of rather portly backsides disappearing over the Tyne Bridge never to be seen again in Geordieland. It can't happen soon enough for me and 50,000 disenchanted Geordies. http://www.mirrorfootball.co.uk/opinion/co...icle134867.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holden McGroin 6917 Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 I like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 that streaking business really takes the piss... at first i dismissed it as shitty rumour but it appears it happened. Speaking of which... "On the subject of the Press, I have been in discussion with News Group Newspapers Ltd. with regards to a story published in the Sun about me in September whilst I was in New York. Those discussions haven't settled this matter so I have had to sue them. "I am no different to you when it comes to having a private life so when I am a guest at a party I think I should be left in peace and not expect to see my picture splashed all over the front of a national newspaper. "For the record, at the time I was in New York I still believed Kevin and everyone else, including myself, could still resolve things and continue working together at Newcastle United. I did not throw a party and I certainly wasn't celebrating Kevin's departure, nor did I pay a huge bar bill or travel to the States by private jet. "As well as fighting to protect my privacy I wanted you supporters to know what happened. I would still hope the matter can be settled and I would donate any monies paid to me to the Newcastle United Foundation. There are no legal costs for Newcastle United to cover in this matter as it is about my privacy as an individual. Did anything come of this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JUICE690 0 Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 The more of these articles the better. We can bitch and moan all we like on here but it's never going to make a difference. Public humiliation via the media on the other hand will hopefully embarrass these two twats to pack up and fuck off for good. Surely this type of coverage can't be doing either of them any favors? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peasepud 59 Posted August 28, 2009 Author Share Posted August 28, 2009 The more of these articles the better. We can bitch and moan all we like on here but it's never going to make a difference. Public humiliation via the media on the other hand will hopefully embarrass these two twats to pack up and fuck off for good. Surely this type of coverage can't be doing either of them any favors? I dont think either of them give a fuck whats written tbh. Unless of course fat Mike thinks he can make some money through the courts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 71 Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sniffer 0 Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Portly backsides? Even in a rag like the mirror I suppose you can't say two fucking fat cockney bastards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 A terminal illness is to good for Ashley and Llambias but I'd settle for it with glee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fop 1 Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Never in all my time in football I have never encountered a club so chaotically and pathetically run as Ashley's Newcastle United. Can someone tattoo that across Assley's gut? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fop 1 Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 A terminal illness is to good for Ashley and Llambias but I'd settle for it with glee. Just don't hope he breaks his leg. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitman 2207 Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Good stuff. The fat fucker deserves to have his reputation shredded. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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