Besty 4 Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 When you've not got tissues or baby wipes either, you must have been caught short at least once? Face wipes! I think I've used a magazine once in desperation like. Nasty. Celebrity face? MJ's I think... ..too soon? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew 4712 Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 A far more interesting question is how you wipe up when you've run out of bog paper? only happened once the I recall, spare is kept within arms reach in that case it was just to jump right into the shower Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChezGiven 0 Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 A far more interesting question is how you wipe up when you've run out of bog paper? only happened once the I recall, spare is kept within arms reach in that case it was just to jump right into the shower Yeah i've emergency douched a couple of times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 41899 Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 A far more interesting question is how you wipe up when you've run out of bog paper? Poop & Scoop. Had to do this once in France. Flush your doings away, then use the clean(ish) water in the bowl to clean your arse. Wash your hand, but remember not to bite your nails that night. Not pleasant, but better than the alternative. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig 6670 Posted June 25, 2009 Author Share Posted June 25, 2009 lads..... you'd be fucking shocked what some admit to... there is a bloke at work who claims he just "kegs up!". Reckons wiping yourself dry is pointless as you almost always get kling-ons... I would honestly try to get him sacked. Tell you what, I'm not shaking the dirty cunt's hand any more - no fucking way! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig 6670 Posted June 25, 2009 Author Share Posted June 25, 2009 A far more interesting question is how you wipe up when you've run out of bog paper? I had a near miss at work the other day - went in the cubicle, dropped me kegs - was just about to squat when I realised there was only one ply left of the final sheet. Why the fuck do people leave such a paltry amount man - use the fucking lot. The cleaners also think the handle of the bog brush can sufficiently double up as a bog roll holder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Kenneth Noisewater 0 Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 Standard, followed up by a moist if available. I only poo once a day as a rule, so ideally I'll go first thing after breakfast then I can shower afterwards too. My cleft is spotless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 41899 Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 Was in KFC today, went to offload the poison, and as I was bent over in the cubicle having a wipe, my arse let rip a monster- it sounded like a machine gun being shot thru wet cardboard! I even embarrassed myself it was so feckin loud and brutal. Thank God KFC put a hand wipe in their packets! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitman 2204 Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 I've never economised on bog paper. I put this down to years of using the waterproof sandpaper provided at school. I recall having a dump 'al fresco' in the woods when I was about 9 years old. It was a case of being caught short at the time but was strangely enjoyable. However as leaves were the only toilet paper available, I wasn't minded to repeat the experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayatollah Hermione 13760 Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 Who pulls their kegs up without wiping? You want shot. Ironically, with some shit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheInspiration 1 Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 Anyone ever get little bits of paper drop down from their rear ends when they wipe them? They kind of annoy me because I don't want them to land on my clothes, knowing where they have just been etc. May need to re-assess my technique. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Kelly 1216 Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 I remember my mate once just wiped his arse on the bog wall in Magaluf when there was no paper. Shit all up the wall. Socks are usually the best option when you're out of paper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 44094 Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 There was a kid at work who had an interesting approach to dirty protests. He used to do a bit of impromptu grouting with his shit on the tiled walls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 41899 Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 Having just performed this mornings waste disposal, poll options 2 & 4. The world is a better place having shared this info. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonraider 0 Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 lads..... you'd be fucking shocked what some admit to... there is a bloke at work who claims he just "kegs up!". Reckons wiping yourself dry is pointless as you almost always get kling-ons... Disgusting animal there's no need for that. As i am a lady I use toilet paper and wipes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig 6670 Posted June 26, 2009 Author Share Posted June 26, 2009 Who the hell chose "something else" BTW? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonraider 0 Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 Who the hell chose "something else" BTW? I thought that, come on we want to know who and what he/she does Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snakehips 0 Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 Who the hell chose "something else" BTW? Tarzan. Living in the jungle means he just gets the monkeys to lick it clean. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonraider 0 Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 I normally have a small pack of moist wipes and tissues in my bag too incase I have to use a public loo, as I use a wipe to clean the toilet seat before I sit down for a pee! Some of the toilets at race tracks are vile, especially the Hednesford raceway loos at the end of a two day meeting when the weather's hot....the smell is stomach churning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 Who the hell chose "something else" BTW? Tarzan. Living in the jungle means he just gets the monkeys to lick it clean. Always wondered what his yell was all about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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