LeazesMag 0 Posted June 11, 2009 Share Posted June 11, 2009 A lady libertarian wrote a lot of letters to the government, complaining about the treatment of captive insurgents (terrorists) being held in Afghanistan National Correctional System facilities. She received back the following reply: National Defence Headquarters MGen George R. Pearkes, Bldg, 15 NT 101 Colonel By Drive Ottawa ON . K1A 0K2 Canada Dear Concerned Citizen, Thank you for your recent letter expressing your profound concern of treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda terrorists captured by Canadian Forces who were subsequently transferred to the Afghanistan Government and are currently being held by Afghan officials in Afghanistan National Correctional System facilities. Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinions were heard loud and clear here in Ottawa . You will be pleased to learn, thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself, we are creating a new department hre at the Department of National Defense, to be called "Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers" program, or L.A.R.K. for short. In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to divert one terrorist and place him in your personal care. Your personal detainee has been selected and is scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence in Toronto next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of complaint. It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommend in your letter. Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his "attitudinal problem" wil! l help h im overcome these character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home schooling. Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend him. Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters (except sexually) since he views females as a subhuman form of property. This is a particularly sensitive subject for him and he has been known to show violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the new dress code that he will recommend as more appropriate attire. I'm sure you will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burka over time. Just remember that it is all part of "respecting his culture and religious beliefs" as described in your letter. Thanks again for your concern. We truly appreciate it when folks like you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job and care for our fellow man. You take good care of Ahmed and remember; we'll be watching. Good luck and God bless you. Cordially, Gordon O'Connor Minister of National Defence Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ketsbaia 0 Posted June 11, 2009 Share Posted June 11, 2009 Fantastic, I want one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fop 1 Posted June 11, 2009 Share Posted June 11, 2009 Fantastic, I want one. Meh, they eat a lot and can't be house trained properly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob W 0 Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 aye but they keep the double glazing salesmen and the Jehovah's away..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 They're not terrorists btw, they're suspects. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fop 1 Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 They're not terrorists btw, they're suspects. Release stats say otherwise though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob W 0 Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 only 5% of suspects are ever charged with any serious offences Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 11080 Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 I like that "doing good" is a bad thing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fop 1 Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 only 5% of suspects are ever charged with any serious offences And loads released go on to commit terrorist offences (including of course the current commander of the Taliban in Helmand Province - more than a few British soldiers are likely dead that wouldn't otherwise have been killed because of that). So the truth is clearly somewhere in between. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 11080 Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 Wait, wait, WAIT... the world is nuanced shades of grey... it's not black and white? Someone tell the press, they've been doing it all wrong! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fop 1 Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 Wait, wait, WAIT... the world is nuanced shades of grey... it's not black and white? Someone tell the press, they've been doing it all wrong! Well actually from the release stats a significant proportion of them probably could have been "fairly" shot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 11080 Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 I wouldn't object to any journalist being shot, I'm afraid. but then I'm in the kind of mood where there's very few individuals, whose shooting would raise my ire. I've the urge to ruin someones day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 22493 Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 (edited) 7 years old. http://www.snopes.com/politics/war/lark.asp Edited June 12, 2009 by Renton Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 11080 Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 Surely nobody thought it was real? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 I wouldn't object to any journalist being shot, I'm afraid. I like... Christopher Hitchens John Pilger Bob Woodward Jason Burke Paul Krugman .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 11080 Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 Fair enough... but you've named 5 out of thousands. A cull, says I. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 15871 Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 So pathetic it's almost impressive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ketsbaia 0 Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 I wouldn't object to any journalist being shot, I'm afraid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 11080 Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 Cry me a river you lefty liberal do-gooding pinko-commy, redneck, far-right, fascist gestapo sonnuvabitch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeazesMag 0 Posted June 12, 2009 Author Share Posted June 12, 2009 aye but they keep the double glazing salesmen and the Jehovah's away..... ........ one of those I had in mind has entered the thread ..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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