luckyluke 2 Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 This. And people taking their time to return to their car after filling it up and paying, while I'm waiting. Hope you hit a truck head on you utter cunt, die, die, die. Actually coming to think of it loads of things about driving piss me off and I'm probably just as guilty myself on some occasions. I had one of these last week, he then got back into the car and sat there, after about 60 seconds I went over to see what the hold up was and he was sitting there texting. Some utterly clueless cunts out there. Take the pump put some petrol in through the open window and throw a match in. That should move him. Middle class cowards who talk of unspeakable acts of violence on an internet message board in retaliation for the mildest inconvenience they may suffer in real life, but would actually do nothing in real life. Of course I was being serious. Sorry, my mistake. Feel free to threaten to hunt me down and decapitate me or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew 4721 Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 1. The word 'Moreish'2. All that false, fashionable 'depression' teenagers used to put on to look cool. 3. Female Labour MPs. Smug, patronising shitbags. 4. Female singers who sing through their noses (e.g. Rihanna) or over emote every sylibal (e.g Leona Lewis, Mariah Carey) methinks it no coincidence that burnley has a female labour MP Hazel Blears Harriet Harman Caroline Flint, perhaps? I reckon mine is a more likely reason tbh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 2 Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 Oh, and fit mormons btw. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Dynamite 7009 Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 Too many to mention!!! Lasses who think they are gods gift!!! If you happen to accidentally look in their direction they give you a hacky look, and you know in daylight they would be fucking munters anyway!!! Lads who are more like lasses than lasses. Fake tan, painted on t shirt, about £17 worth of product in their hair Cunts who still wear stripey jumpers and feel a night out isnt complete unless they and their 15 friends have started a fight with someone Sunday league footballers who respond to every tackle with 'do that again and il fucking kill you', then are off like a shot at the final whistle The lad who plays for my team who is easily the wost player in the entire league yet insists on grabbing the number 9 shirt out of the bag every week to sit on the bench with Cunts at the match/in the pub who rabbit on pure shite about football. The bloke behind me is always getting his players mixed up and is usually screaming at someone who isnt even on the pitch, and then says something shite like Ameobi should have started People who cant hold their drink/would rather stay in than not be able to get mortal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 Too many to mention!!! Lasses who think they are gods gift!!! If you happen to accidentally look in their direction they give you a hacky look, and you know in daylight they would be fucking munters anyway!!! Lads who are more like lasses than lasses. Fake tan, painted on t shirt, about £17 worth of product in their hair Cunts who still wear stripey jumpers and feel a night out isnt complete unless they and their 15 friends have started a fight with someone Sunday league footballers who respond to every tackle with 'do that again and il fucking kill you', then are off like a shot at the final whistle The lad who plays for my team who is easily the wost player in the entire league yet insists on grabbing the number 9 shirt out of the bag every week to sit on the bench with Cunts at the match/in the pub who rabbit on pure shite about football. The bloke behind me is always getting his players mixed up and is usually screaming at someone who isnt even on the pitch, and then says something shite like Ameobi should have started People who cant hold their drink/would rather stay in than not be able to get mortal Agree with virtually all those, although the bit in bold refers to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10779 Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 (edited) Aye the female warblers piss me off no end, pick a note and stick with it says I The overly pally people at work, specifically lasses who are over the top with their tactile fascination. You don't have to put your hands on my shoulders when looking at my screen, I don't want a hug and I definitely don't want to kiss your cheek. Story Toppers. Seriously, shut the fuck up. Overly dramatising of news stories by "journalists", they're horrific/dramatic enough without you flapping your arms around like a epileptic seagull. Newsreaders in general. I don't want you to be pally, and one of the people, I want you to describe the News with the gravitas it deserves. itv. Media folk who leave their phone on when they know they're going on air. Edited May 22, 2009 by The Fish Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acrossthepond 874 Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 People who dash onto the train as the doors are closing and just make it, then put on a big show of panting, looking around for sympathy, and trying to make eye contact and going "that was close, wasn't it?" before trying to make some idiotic small talk with some 60-year-old clinging to the pole for dear life. We don't want your goddamn life story, we just want to ride the subway in peace, thanks very much, die in a fire. Who was it who mentioned touchers? I HATE them. The New York Post. That isn't a ridiculous hatred though as it is probably the worst rag on earth, bar the Sun perhaps and it doesn't even have Page 3. People who talk on mobiles in the public domain, period. When I'm on a bus and I'm hearing way too much about Aunt Irma's hemorrhoid it gets to be a bit much. There's loads of others - I could go on for pages and pages. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soccermom 0 Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 I hate twats who try to talk posh when they're not and it sounds ridiculous, and then they forget and they go back to being the charvas they're trying so hard not to be also fuckers who don't undestand how roundabouts work. Give way to the right you knob. also hippy/newage/uberprofessionals who let their kids run fuckin riot in asda - aargh, i'd give them a bloody good hiding and ground the little bastards if they were mine. also bastards who like to correct the text you've just sent them - fkr=fucker wit=with =arseholes also ignorant old fuckers who think they can just walk out into the road and we can all avoid them by magic also boring fuckers who try to start intellectual conversations about utter bollocks that they know fuck all about but they've read an article in the paper and they're now the worlds most leading expert also people jumping queues especially at the self service checkouts I'm sure I have many more..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paddy 17 Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 i'm sure you do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42129 Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 People who eat with their mouth open-ffs man! Evolve! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 71 Posted May 22, 2009 Author Share Posted May 22, 2009 People who dash onto the train as the doors are closing and just make it, then put on a big show of panting, looking around for sympathy, and trying to make eye contact and going "that was close, wasn't it?" before trying to make some idiotic small talk with some 60-year-old clinging to the pole for dear life. We don't want your goddamn life story, we just want to ride the subway in peace, thanks very much, die in a fire. Who was it who mentioned touchers? I HATE them. The New York Post. That isn't a ridiculous hatred though as it is probably the worst rag on earth, bar the Sun perhaps and it doesn't even have Page 3. People who talk on mobiles in the public domain, period. When I'm on a bus and I'm hearing way too much about Aunt Irma's hemorrhoid it gets to be a bit much. There's loads of others - I could go on for pages and pages. That's the spirit. I wonder how the world would be if we could say these things out loud? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TicTacWoe 0 Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 (edited) People taking ages at cash points, young or old I feel like putting my fist through thee back of their head, then beating there face on the key pad until all the keys come out, or teeth, whatever gives first tbh. Oh, absolutely. Especially people who try out three or four cards before finding one that they can actually withdraw some money on. If you're that far in debt, STOP SPENDING MONEY, fucktard. Had this happen to me earlier, I always seem to be the only one in the queue who doesn't move in slow motion. I work in a shop in Dublin where certain customers give me all manner of reasons to harbour ridiculous hatreds. Today an old couple took an eternity paying for some items they were buying, fair enough, (if a little annoying), a queue begins to gather behind them and the people in the queue begin to sigh and grumble (more annoying), the old people continue to count out coins (increasingly annoying). The queue sighs and grumbles more and more until I want to spontaneously combust when finally the old people are done and leave the shop and then.....after all their waiting, sighing and grumbling, NOT ONE OF THE FUCKERS IN THE QUEUE HAS THEIR OWN MONEY READY AND TAKE JUST AS FUCKING LONG!!! (basil fawlty mode activated). Edited May 23, 2009 by TicTacWoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42129 Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 Shop assistants counting back change, a la Peter Kay; " 5's 10 and, £3's your £5 , and £5 ..........." fuck off, just gimme the bastard change! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gejon 2 Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 Text talk, its just fucking shit! Especially when the abortion of a word is just as long or in some cases even longer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 71 Posted May 23, 2009 Author Share Posted May 23, 2009 One can't help wondering what the point of it all is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj 17 Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 Shopping in any supermarket is always a cernt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billy Castell 0 Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 People using the word 'ironical' The creeping Americanisation of English. You use a fucking S not a Z in words like organisation, colour has a U in it, they are called biscuits and we do not raise children. Fucking scousers. They think they are some special case all the time, that they are funnier than the rest, and they are victims all the time. Americans criticising British food and our looks. And what have you brought to the world of food you semi-literate bunch of morons? Hamburgers, shit weak beer and cheese that comes out of a fucking spray can. CHEESE FROM A SPRAY CAN! IT IS AGAINST PHYSICS AND NATURE TO DO THAT. As for our looks, sure we may not spend £30,000 getting our teeth perfect, but have you watched any of those shows like Ricki Lake? Fat ugly black people or inbred hillbillies chatting shit. The jobcentre website. They do not vet the job adverts, and it is just ugly. I went for a 'leaflet distributor' when I was unemployed for a few months, as it was £250 per week. It was nothing of the sort, a completely different job. I was training to be one of those wankers who knock on your door to get you to buy double glazing, and the fucking £250 was all commission based. I could have £40, I could have £4,000. It was that company that does those ads with that northern cunt shouting "buy these winders NOW!", and everyone who worked there were grade A wideboy Spivs. Irritatingly happy people, who look like they are auditioning for a Friends remake. I hate these people being happy at me, I want to tell them their parents have died, and their cat has been raped. Pple who use txt spk on msg brds like this when their is no chrctr limit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Dynamite 7009 Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 Shopping in any supermarket is always a cernt. I used to love it in America. I could quite happily spend 2 hours just deciding which brand of cereal and ice cream to buy from the thousands on display! Not quite as much fun in Tescos though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom 14011 Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 Shopping in any supermarket is always a cernt. I honestly fucking hate it. I got into the habit of ordering online to be honest. The £5 delivery charge is worth it due to the money you save being able to think about what you want / look for it properly etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10779 Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 text speak in general, even when there is a character limit... there's rarely a decent excuse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimbo 174 Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 Old people that just stop for no reason in front of you. Plastic Manc's who jack shit about football, probably don't even know who half the players in their reserve team yet alone any facts or current footballing events that didn't occur on MOTD, but still wear a ManUre shirt everyday. Anyone who wears a shirt or top with the collar up (seriously, I could kill them). People that take more than 30 seconds to use a cash machine. People that use the word "basically". and thats just for starters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 71 Posted May 23, 2009 Author Share Posted May 23, 2009 Old people that just stop for no reason in front of you. Plastic Manc's who jack shit about football, probably don't even know who half the players in their reserve team yet alone any facts or current footballing events that didn't occur on MOTD, but still wear a ManUre shirt everyday. Anyone who wears a shirt or top with the collar up (seriously, I could kill them). People that take more than 30 seconds to use a cash machine. People that use the word "basically". and thats just for starters. I think you can do better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJS 4375 Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 The creeping Americanisation of English. You use a fucking S not a Z in words like organisation, colour has a U in it, they are called biscuits and we do not raise children. I;m not patriotic in the normal way but I think people who use "ass" instead of "arse" should be hanged for treason. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 71 Posted May 23, 2009 Author Share Posted May 23, 2009 The creeping Americanisation of English. You use a fucking S not a Z in words like organisation, colour has a U in it, they are called biscuits and we do not raise children. I;m not patriotic in the normal way but I think people who use "ass" instead of "arse" should be hanged for treason. They get a choice here of Americano Eng and what they refer to as Oxford eng. Why the choice? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj 17 Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 When you're sat outside having a coffee in Tynemouth and you have stupid, brash, loud-mouth southerners trying to be clever saying things such as "Why aye man," "alreet," no just no. Fuck off man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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