scotty84 0 Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 people who send you a text along the lines of "what you up to tonight?" to which you reply " _________, how about you?" and the fuckers don' respond. its 10 fuckin pence, have the common curtosey to reply you lazy twats! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gejon 2 Posted June 7, 2009 Share Posted June 7, 2009 people who send you a text along the lines of "what you up to tonight?" to which you reply " _________, how about you?" and the fuckers don' respond. its 10 fuckin pence, have the common curtosey to reply you lazy twats! Â Â To be fair it could be 12 pence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Kenneth Noisewater 0 Posted June 7, 2009 Share Posted June 7, 2009 I'm surprised anyone still pays for texts when you can get contracts with unlimited free texts for less than £15 a month. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 2 Posted June 7, 2009 Share Posted June 7, 2009 Fucking moronic girl in front of me topping up her oyster card- gets to machine - searches in bag for oyster - shows it to machine, puts it back in bag. Searches for wallet, finds it, takes out money, puts wallet back in bag. Machine says not enough money, searches in bag for wallet again. Takes out money, puts wallet back in bag. Puts in additional money. Searches for oyster again to finish topping it up again. Â die die die die die die die Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 71 Posted June 7, 2009 Author Share Posted June 7, 2009 Fucking moronic girl in front of me topping up her oyster card- gets to machine - searches in bag for oyster - shows it to machine, puts it back in bag. Searches for wallet, finds it, takes out money, puts wallet back in bag. Machine says not enough money, searches in bag for wallet again. Takes out money, puts wallet back in bag. Puts in additional money. Searches for oyster again to finish topping it up again.  die die die die die die die  Bet you said nowt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJS 4385 Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 We've been in a new building since January. As you check-in by passing your security card over a scanner it displays an assigned life out of the 8 available. Obviously they need a touch screen interface which repeats the choice at the lifts (10m away) to cater for imbeciles but the number of people I see look down and read the letter at the turnstile and then use the lift interface 4 seconds later is incredible. They must have an attention span in the milliseconds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fop 1 Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 Fucking moronic girl in front of me topping up her oyster card- gets to machine - searches in bag for oyster - shows it to machine, puts it back in bag. Searches for wallet, finds it, takes out money, puts wallet back in bag. Machine says not enough money, searches in bag for wallet again. Takes out money, puts wallet back in bag. Puts in additional money. Searches for oyster again to finish topping it up again.  die die die die die die die  Bet you said nowt.  But some poor bugger got a brutal endoscopy a bit later on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Albert Kirkey 0 Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 Sorry if this has been mentioned before (just seen this thread and going to wade through it this afternoon as I love stuff like this) Â The wankers in the newsagent queues that buy loads of scratchcards after deliberating which ones to get, and then get the lass behind the counter to check a sheaf of lottery tickets. Takes bloody ages for them to finish getting served. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10857 Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 Old women who faff on with their Nectar card balance at the counter when there's a queue the size of a blue wale's cock behind them. Â to be honest, pensioners who shop/travel at peak times in general. They've got the entire frickin' day... why ruin my lunch break? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 71 Posted June 8, 2009 Author Share Posted June 8, 2009 Had one today at the service station at the coffee vending machine. Some business looking type stands there eying up the machine for god knows five minutes and then asks the woman if it gives change. As he went over to her I put my money in at which point he started babbling something. He was still there fiddling with sugar and whatnot as I was leaving after drinking my coffee. Cunt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AgentAxeman 178 Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 Old women who faff on with their Nectar card balance at the counter when there's a queue the size of a blue wale's cock behind them. to be honest, pensioners who shop/travel at peak times in general. They've got the entire frickin' day... why ruin my lunch break?   for the human contact man!!!!   lets face it if your in a home any conversation would be gr8!!!!!!   Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10857 Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 ... they can get human contact in off peak times. Man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10857 Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 People who say "let's just say" then follow with some smug piece of crap that is a pretty pathetic thing to be smug about. Â "Let's just say I got administrative access as a sorry for all the shit I've suffered through." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sniffer 0 Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 The term " empowerment " is really pissing me off these days. Especially when it comes fom a cunt that's been micromanaging for the last twenty years. It's taken over from " paradigm shift " that nobody uses any more..... until our CEO rediscovers it or he thinks he invented it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 15526 Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Ricky Gervais Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 2 Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Ricky Gervais  Hating that fat, smarmy self indulgent wank stain is possibly the least ridiculous hatred ever.  And Parky, I did enquire if there was a chance of me getting a tube sometime this year. Not only did she not understand me (fucking tourists), but it slowed her down even more! I wouldn't have minded so much, but she had an oyster - indicative that she must use London transport fairly regularly. I think you should be forced to undergo some kind of aptitude test before they give you one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 71 Posted June 9, 2009 Author Share Posted June 9, 2009 Ricky Gervais  Hating that fat, smarmy self indulgent wank stain is possibly the least ridiculous hatred ever.  And Parky, I did enquire if there was a chance of me getting a tube sometime this year. Not only did she not understand me (fucking tourists), but it slowed her down even more! I wouldn't have minded so much, but she had an oyster - indicative that she must use London transport fairly regularly. I think you should be forced to undergo some kind of aptitude test before they give you one.  Or a damn fine kicking if you use one incorrectly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10857 Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 I had the hottest, longest most disgusting tube journey ever. The perspiration coming off the large lady sat to my right was matched in wretchedness only by the stink coming off the fat bloke sat to my left. Â She kept wiping her fore head with the back of her bingo-winged left arm, then dropping said sweat laden limb right beside me so I got her sweat on my trousers. Â He kept doing the "Lift up right arm and waft short sleeve" thing so I'd get intermittent gusts of his caustic B.O. Â It's the inconsideration of them both that bugs me, everybody gets hot on the tube, but christ think of others! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 7083 Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 I've started cycling into work now. Slightly quicker than the tube, way more fun and free exercise. The pollution though, urgh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 The term " empowerment " is really pissing me off these days. Especially when it comes fom a cunt that's been micromanaging for the last twenty years. It's taken over from " paradigm shift " that nobody uses any more..... until our CEO rediscovers it or he thinks he invented it. The bits in quotes are worse than using terms like 'micromanaging'? Doylum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonraider 0 Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 I had the hottest, longest most disgusting tube journey ever. The perspiration coming off the large lady sat to my right was matched in wretchedness only by the stink coming off the fat bloke sat to my left. Â She kept wiping her fore head with the back of her bingo-winged left arm, then dropping said sweat laden limb right beside me so I got her sweat on my trousers. Â He kept doing the "Lift up right arm and waft short sleeve" thing so I'd get intermittent gusts of his caustic B.O. Â It's the inconsideration of them both that bugs me, everybody gets hot on the tube, but christ think of others! Â Â I'm so glad i dont have to go on the tube. London did it for me, I nearly passed out with the heat and there was a fire and we ended up down there for ever, never again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonraider 0 Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 I loathe people that suck up to others We have a new line manager and one of the other seniors is falling over herself to get in there, its embarrassing to watch. Yesterday the new boss said she'd had to go lie down the evening before not feeling well which she said wasnt like her, brown nose lady replied, oh poor you, thats not like you at all!!!!! (She's only known her for 2 weeks, how the hell would she know)? Argghhhhh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Had to bite my tongue at work as someone was going on about how much Andy Murray reminded her of John McEnroe in the way he played in an attempt to sound like she knew about tennis. Aye, the right-handed 6ft 3 baseliner plays just like the much shorter, left-handed serve-volleyer did Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 7083 Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Has anyone said tramps yet? They fucking stink. Seriously, you could wash once a week you lazy twunt. It rains quite often round here you know? Â I can't even get anywhere near you to give you a good kicking, repelled by your fucking foetid force field. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonraider 0 Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 My friend has 'Gypsies' or travellers whatever camped in a field behind her back garden. The continual running of the genney and their music is doing her head in. Torbay council have told them they can stay untill 13th July, but I doubt they'll move on then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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