Meenzer 15716 Posted May 11, 2009 Share Posted May 11, 2009 Oh yes, oh yes indeed. It's that time of year again. Semi-finals on BBC3 on Tuesday and Thursday night, big final on Saturday night (with Norton instead of Wogan ), 8pm kick-off each time. We're being represented by a Leona Lewis wannabe singing an X Factor winner knock-off penned by Andrew Lloyd Webber. What could possibly go wrong? Meanwhile, this here piece of cheesy tat - folk mincing and all - is the hot favourite with bookies and fans alike, so it's probably doomed: There's Toontastic vested interests aplenty, with Bombadil's mates singing for Switzerland, while two old buddies of mine have co-written the Irish entry - or "borrowed bits from about five Miley Cyrus songs", if you're being cynical about it: All of this serves to cover up the fact that there's a distinct lack of continental sluttery this year, which is usually the only way I can tempt anyone on here to even contemplate watching the thing. Will Romania and Turkey do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 43067 Posted May 11, 2009 Share Posted May 11, 2009 (edited) Even with a 100% slut quota, I'd rather eat my own head. Edited May 11, 2009 by Monkeys Fist Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonraider 0 Posted May 11, 2009 Share Posted May 11, 2009 NO Wogan?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Manson 0 Posted May 11, 2009 Share Posted May 11, 2009 All of this serves to cover up the fact that there's a distinct lack of continental sluttery this year, which is usually the only way I can tempt anyone on here to even contemplate watching the thing. Will Romania and Turkey do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 15716 Posted May 11, 2009 Author Share Posted May 11, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billy Whitehurst 931 Posted May 11, 2009 Share Posted May 11, 2009 NO Wogan?? Won't be the same without him. It's a big ask for Norton to step into his shoes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 11542 Posted May 11, 2009 Share Posted May 11, 2009 (edited) Have they changed the voting system this year? I know there was talk about it after last years usual eastern european points carve up. Anyway, it will take a lot to better this classic from 2006. You can't go too wrong with a fat bald bloke going mental. Edited May 11, 2009 by Sonatine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 15716 Posted May 11, 2009 Author Share Posted May 11, 2009 Aye, the juries are back, so it's 50/50 between the telephone votes and the crusty old blokes in a darkened room... wait, that's most of the viewers too. You know what I mean though. Of course they haven't implemented 50/50 voting in the semi-finals, so all the evil easterners will get through to the final anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billy Castell 0 Posted May 11, 2009 Share Posted May 11, 2009 It's all a fix anyway. All the former Soviet and Yugoslavian countries vote for each other in an effort to pretend they haven't been whacking the shit out of each other for 500 years and still hate each other. I think that is why Wogan left, and why no-one will watch it. Eurovision is horrible anyway-it launched ABBA and I fucking hate ABBA and everything associated with them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snakehips 0 Posted May 11, 2009 Share Posted May 11, 2009 It's all a fix anyway. All the former Soviet and Yugoslavian countries vote for each other in an effort to pretend they haven't been whacking the shit out of each other for 500 years and still hate each other. I think that is why Wogan left, and why no-one will watch it. Eurovision is horrible anyway-it launched ABBA and I fucking hate ABBA and everything associated with them. Wash yer mooth oot. Philistine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billy Castell 0 Posted May 11, 2009 Share Posted May 11, 2009 It's nice that you feel comfortable coming out on a football site Snakehips ABBA are rubbish, and that Mamma Mia film is as good as having found out you are terminally ill. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 15716 Posted May 12, 2009 Author Share Posted May 12, 2009 Two and a bit hours to go. Aquavit on ice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walliver 0 Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 It's all a fix anyway. All the former Soviet and Yugoslavian countries vote for each other in an effort to pretend they haven't been whacking the shit out of each other for 500 years and still hate each other. I think that is why Wogan left, and why no-one will watch it. Eurovision is horrible anyway-it launched ABBA and I fucking hate ABBA and everything associated with them. What complete rubbish - that's just what Wogan says but the old bloke didn't have a clue and I'm glad he's gone (I'm not particularly happy that Norton's replacing him, but I can understand why he was chosen). Take last year, for instance, we finished joint bottom with three countries and Wogan was going on about what a huge disgrace it was and how it stank of eastern favouritism - Popbitch looked into it and if you only count the votes of the western countries we finished ... third bottom! Before last year's finals I had a look into this because I was interested to see just how biased the voting was. The following paragraph was up-to-date before the last final, but won't be now: "In the last ten years, we have given top marks to the country that has won the competition on five occasions. Only once in that time have we given nothing to the winners and that was Serbia last year. And, in all honesty, that song was a bit crap. In fact, since the current method of voting was introduced in 1975, the UK has only given zero points to the most popular nation on four occasions – last year, Luxemburg in '83, Italy in '90 and Ireland in '96. If you take away those four years, and the three years the UK won the competition, from calculations, in the last 33 years the UK has on average given 9.57 points to the eventual winner. Even including the four years of no points, the average is still 8.3, putting the champion firmly in our top three." There is of course no logic in the fact that the majority of Britain have no idea who our entrants ever are, nevermind the rest of Europe knowing them (hence why Clea/Loveshy would've been much better choices than Andy Abraham), while the winners are often established acts in their countries who have toured nearby nations. Last year's winner had his song - and much of his album (this was his second) - produced by Timberland. What exactly has Jade Ewen done in the music world? I'm sure I've mentioned some of this on here before - but no country has won two competitions since Ireland’s dominance in the early 90s – in the last 14 years we have had 14 different winners. If it is purely political, why isn't there one favourite country, or even a few countries that are rising to the top? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 15716 Posted May 12, 2009 Author Share Posted May 12, 2009 Jesus christ, man, you'll have me out of a job! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 It's all a fix anyway. All the former Soviet and Yugoslavian countries vote for each other in an effort to pretend they haven't been whacking the shit out of each other for 500 years and still hate each other. I think that is why Wogan left, and why no-one will watch it. Eurovision is horrible anyway-it launched ABBA and I fucking hate ABBA and everything associated with them. What complete rubbish - that's just what Wogan says but the old bloke didn't have a clue and I'm glad he's gone (I'm not particularly happy that Norton's replacing him, but I can understand why he was chosen). Take last year, for instance, we finished joint bottom with three countries and Wogan was going on about what a huge disgrace it was and how it stank of eastern favouritism - Popbitch looked into it and if you only count the votes of the western countries we finished ... third bottom! Before last year's finals I had a look into this because I was interested to see just how biased the voting was. The following paragraph was up-to-date before the last final, but won't be now: "In the last ten years, we have given top marks to the country that has won the competition on five occasions. Only once in that time have we given nothing to the winners and that was Serbia last year. And, in all honesty, that song was a bit crap. In fact, since the current method of voting was introduced in 1975, the UK has only given zero points to the most popular nation on four occasions – last year, Luxemburg in '83, Italy in '90 and Ireland in '96. If you take away those four years, and the three years the UK won the competition, from calculations, in the last 33 years the UK has on average given 9.57 points to the eventual winner. Even including the four years of no points, the average is still 8.3, putting the champion firmly in our top three." There is of course no logic in the fact that the majority of Britain have no idea who our entrants ever are, nevermind the rest of Europe knowing them (hence why Clea/Loveshy would've been much better choices than Andy Abraham), while the winners are often established acts in their countries who have toured nearby nations. Last year's winner had his song - and much of his album (this was his second) - produced by Timberland. What exactly has Jade Ewen done in the music world? I'm sure I've mentioned some of this on here before - but no country has won two competitions since Ireland's dominance in the early 90s – in the last 14 years we have had 14 different winners. If it is purely political, why isn't there one favourite country, or even a few countries that are rising to the top? One of the most disturbing posts EVER on Toontastic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 46029 Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 Agreed. What a fucking arse bandit! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 2 Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 My SHO is gutted that he's working nights this weekend. The fucking sausage jockey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Onion 0 Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 I saw this first time round when I was about six. And still vaguely remember doing so. My Auntie Margaret was babysitting me and I can recall her wetting herself in anticipation. I'm told I thought it was great and bopped away to it Cliff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Stevie Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Walliver It's not political, it's a bit like saying Birmingham it's not shit. We can't win because every cunt hates us, and most of Europe are inherently racist. If it was a fair contest, with the echelons of British music down the years, we'd have won 40 times, Ireland twice and Sweden one. Dana International oh dear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 2 Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Walliver It's not political, it's a bit like saying Birmingham it's not shit. We can't win because every cunt hates us, and most of Europe are inherently racist. If it was a fair contest, with the echelons of British music down the years, we'd have won 40 times, Ireland twice and Sweden one. Dana International oh dear. We're not represented by the Kinks or the Smiths ffs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sima 0 Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Chelsea cheated out of the Champion's League, Britain cheated out of Eurovision. Is there any real point anymore Everyone hates us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Onion 0 Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Walliver It's not political, it's a bit like saying Birmingham it's not shit. We can't win because every cunt hates us, and most of Europe are inherently racist. If it was a fair contest, with the echelons of British music down the years, we'd have won 40 times, Ireland twice and Sweden one. Dana International oh dear. We're not represented by the Kinks or the Smiths ffs. Morrissey has come pretty close to being involved in the past. He loves all this shit: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/6244153.stm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 15716 Posted May 14, 2009 Author Share Posted May 14, 2009 I reckon we've got a decent shot at the title this year tbh. (Probably end up 12th now. ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonraider 0 Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 Well we actually have some points this year Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 2 Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 Our song was one of the most bland pieces of non music I've ever heard. Or it least it might have been, it was so unremarkable I don't think I'd recognise it if I heard it again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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