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Official Jimbo's TV Confirmation: Alan Shearer: Manager of Newcastle United

Jimbo

By Jimbo,
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Dr Kenneth Noisewater

Dr Kenneth Noisewater 0

Posted
Posted
How many of you who were convinced we were going down, are now confident of staying up?

 

I'm by no means confident... but I think Ashley has played his best possible card by appointing Shearer.

 

Make no bones about it, the task is monumental. In 1992 Keegan had 16 games to save us. Shearer only has half that number.

 

FWIW I think Kinnear, Hughton & Calderwood will all be on their way. JFK is talking about a DOF role but we've seen proof that he's a bullshitter on far too many an occasion.

Hopefully Shearer realised he had ashley over a barrel negotiations-wise and dictated his own terms, his own people, and a clean sweep of anyone he didn't want around the place.

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Kitman

Kitman 2207

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Posted
The Sun

 

Shearer in Toon rescue

 

 

ALAN SHEARER will take over as Newcastle boss today.

 

In a sensational move owner Mike Ashley has turned to the Toon hero to save the club from relegation from the Premier League.

 

The Magpies lie third bottom in the table, two points adrift of safety, and disgruntled players have been calling for a figure of authority to haul them out of the mire.

 

Coach Chris Hughton is considered too soft for the job and Shearer, the man who cost a club-record £15million back in 1996, has been given the last eight games of the season to work a miracle.

 

Shearer, 38, has made no long-term commitment to the job beyond May but his hero status will go through the roof if he staves off relegation.

 

And he will pocket a massive bonus approaching seven figures if he succeeds.

 

Ashley had shown no inclination to change the acting management duo of Hughton and Colin Calderwood, insisting they would carry on until Joe Kinnear was fit enough to return following his heart operation.

 

But increasingly it has become obvious that Kinnear would not be fit enough to return to the touchline this season and he has been making noises about taking a role upstairs as a director of football.

 

The players had no faith in the management set-up and had almost resigned themselves to the drop.

 

A Toon insider told SunSport: “This is the big throw of the dice by Newcastle. Alan Shearer has always turned down approaches to take on any coaching role at the club before.

 

“But this is a serious situation and everyone realises drastic measures are required.

 

“Alan, more than anyone, does not want to see Newcastle relegated.”

 

You may not have heard that the club has appointed A Toon Insider as our official spokesman.

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Craig

Craig 6700

Posted
Posted
Aye April 1st ;)

 

If it was an April Fool gag, there'd only be the odd media source reporting it. BBC have it on their main news site FFS and this is news out of Sky Sports.

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Matt

Matt 0

Posted
Posted
How many of you who were convinced we were going down, are now confident of staying up?

 

I'm by no means confident... but I think Ashley has played his best possible card by appointing Shearer.

 

Make no bones about it, the task is monumental. In 1992 Keegan had 16 games to save us. Shearer only has half that number.

 

FWIW I think Kinnear, Hughton & Calderwood will all be on their way. JFK is talking about a DOF role but we've seen proof that he's a bullshitter on far too many an occasion.

 

They won't peddle Kinnear because it will seem harsh given his health grounds (not that I'd care that much personally). The others staying depends on whether Shearer brings anyone else in.

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Craig

Craig 6700

Posted
Posted
How many of you who were convinced we were going down, are now confident of staying up?

 

I'm by no means confident... but I think Ashley has played his best possible card by appointing Shearer.

 

Make no bones about it, the task is monumental. In 1992 Keegan had 16 games to save us. Shearer only has half that number.

 

FWIW I think Kinnear, Hughton & Calderwood will all be on their way. JFK is talking about a DOF role but we've seen proof that he's a bullshitter on far too many an occasion.

 

They won't peddle Kinnear because it will seem harsh given his health grounds (not that I'd care that much personally). The others staying depends on whether Shearer brings anyone else in.

 

It's hardly peddling him... He only has a contract til the end of the season anyway.

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Craig

Craig 6700

Posted
Posted
to be presented to "the media" tomorrow morning

 

Only a sheet-metal worker's son iirc?

 

Perhaps his old man can stick some sheets of metal over that Sports Direct sign on the gallowgate tbh...

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ewerk

ewerk 31195

Posted
Posted
If Wise really is leaving, can you blame him? Christ, I can't imagine Shearer reacting too well to an odious little vagina like that signing players over his head. ;)

 

It'd be worth it just to see Shearer's reaction. :nufc:

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Tom

Tom 14013

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Posted

 

Update: 23.19 and Sky now say news is confirmed and Shearer will be presented to the media on Thursday. The confirmation was echoed by the BBC and the Chronicle.

SkySports aired unconfirmed reports from Tyneside on Tuesday evening that Alan Shearer had been appointed as Newcastle United first team manager for the final eight games of the season.

 

The proximity to April 1st initially caused us to dismiss this completely, but the Sky correspondent in the region was in ultra-smug mode when relaying the story - that's the same bloke who spent the last day of the transfer window showing viewers emails in his inbox from M.Ashley esq.

 

Shearer becomes our fourth manager of a mad season and while he's totally unproven in the job, has more feeling for this club in his spit than Kinnear and Hughton combined.

 

He could scarcely do worse than them.

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dbsweeney

dbsweeney 0

Posted
Posted

I've only JUST heard (arrived at work 6.45 in the morning, Perth time).

 

FUCK ME, this works better than a strong cup of coffee!

There's only one Alan Shearer,

One Alan Shearer,

We're walking along, singing this song,

Walking in a Shearer Wonderland.

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Andrew

Andrew 4856

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Posted
Xisco will be chuffed to have some new arse in the dressing room. Lets be honest JFK wasn't much to look at.

 

still wont get a game like ;)

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