Why Newcastle will be relegated - and turn to Alan Shearer to get back up.

[TheMoog 0]

Newcastle are one of the best-supported clubs in the Premier League - but I believe their fans will be watching Championship football next season.

 

Newcastle have lurched from crisis to crisis this term, and have only won once in 12 games.

 

Looking at their tough run-in of fixtures, they are going to go down without a shadow of a doubt.

 

They still need another four wins and have to play Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool and Aston Villa in their remaining 10 matches. So I really fear they have no chance of staying up.

 

Kevin Keegan deserves some of the blame for coming back in January 2008 as manager and walking out again last September.

 

I mean, what on earth was he thinking returning after three years out of football to take charge once more? You really have to question his motives.

 

But of course the club's unpopular owner Mike Ashley, who bought Newcastle in June 2007 for £134million, also deserves a lot of flak for not backing his managers enough financially and bringing in the infamous Cockney mafia.

 

Newcastle is a club where the locals live and breath football and the fact that the natives thought it was being run from London by the likes of Dennis Wise was a huge error by Ashley.

 

Poor signings and injuries to stars including Michael Owen have also conspired against Newcastle. But when United go down, as appears increasingly likely, I can at least see a silver lining to the cloud.

 

After relegation Ashley will still be stuck with the club as he won't be able to find a buyer.

 

He will have to pump more money in to get them back up.

 

The first thing he will do is get rid of Joe Kinnear, Chris Hughton and Colin Calderwood - allowing Alan Shearer to ride to the rescue.

 

Ashley has already pandered to the fans once by appointing Keegan and now they all want Toon legend Shearer in charge.

 

Shearer is not a massive risk-taker but it would be a no-brainer as Ashley would back him with cash in the hope of promotion, otherwise he would have no chance of selling.

 

And with the club's fervent support and money for new signings, who would bet against Shearer delivering success in the Championship?

[Ayatollah Hermione 14048]

Ah, the great footballing oracle, Stan Collymore. An article wrote by someone with no remote clue about the club.

[Guest alex]

He might be right about us going down but I've rarely read a piece less insightful than that.

[peasepud 59]

clueless

[trophyshy 7084]

Ah, the great footballing oracle, Stan Collymore. An article wrote by someone with no remote clue about the club.

 

 

Stiva who is your Elastoplast poster girl?

[Ayatollah Hermione 14048]

Ah, the great footballing oracle, Stan Collymore. An article wrote by someone with no remote clue about the club.

 

 

Stiva who is your Elastoplast poster girl?

 

That would be the lovely Emilie de Ravin of Lost Fame. There's only one or two scenes where she's a brunette but oh, lordy.

[trophyshy 7084]

Ah, the great footballing oracle, Stan Collymore. An article wrote by someone with no remote clue about the club.

 

 

Stiva who is your Elastoplast poster girl?

 

That would be the lovely Emilie de Ravin of Lost Fame. There's only one or two scenes where she's a brunette but oh, lordy.

 

fuck, I knew there must be a reason to watch that!

[Sir Bob Almighty! 0]

Things that are wrong with this piece:

 

1. Stan Collymore wrote it.

 

2. He says we need to win 4 games to stay up and cant do this with 10 games remaning, thats 6 left when you take away the big 4, we have as much of a chance as anyone else and i bet he hasnt wrote anything like this about the other 8 clubs battling down there.

 

3. There was no proof that the club was being run from London as the hierarchy publicly stated that 4 out of 7 days it was being ran here.

 

4. "He will have to pump more money into the club to get them back up" if he hasnt done it before, why would he do it now, according to them theres no money anyway, so losing 50 million getting relegated wont help that will it?

 

5. "The first thing he will do is get rid of Joe Kinnear, Chris Hughton and Colin Calderwood - allowing Alan Shearer to ride to the rescue."- so many things wrong with that statement, if he thinks Kinnear and co are good enough for the premiership why would he get rid of them in the championship, surely he rates them highly enough to get us back up no? And theres still no guarantee Shearer will take over if we go down also.

 

6. "Shearer is not a massive risk taker"- how does he know this? has he seen him manage another club that i'm not aware of?

 

I hate Stan Collymore & Paul Merson.

[Snake 0]

He should stick to subjects he knows about such as hitting women and dogging

[Jimbo 175]

I can't argue with the theory that we may go down, that is a very real danger, but to make a snapshot decision based on or fixtures is foolish, our future is as much about the fixtures and results of the teams around us as it is about our own.

 

This comment by Stanley Victor Collymore is clearly another example of Talksport WUM'ery.

[Fop 1]

[Park Life 71]

who was that bird he pushed down the stairs?

[Tom 14013]

He's clueless but a lot of people will quite happily lap this kind of misinformed article up.

 

The only bit of truth in the entire article is the fact we are in serious danger of relegation and anyone could have told you that.

[Guest alex]

who was that bird he pushed down the stairs?

Ulrika Jonsson. Class when Bob Mortimer referred to her as a 4x4. Four kids by four different blokes.

[snakehips 0]

who was that bird he pushed down the stairs?

 

The girl in Stiva's avatar, judging by her heed.

[Park Life 71]

who was that bird he pushed down the stairs?

Ulrika Jonsson. Class when Bob Mortimer referred to her as a 4x4. Four kids by four different blokes.

 

[Renton 21985]

Guess I'm alone in liking him as a pundit then.....

[Happy Face 29]

Where's he writing now like? The Daily Sport?

 

"Ashley has already pandered to the fans once by appointing Keegan and now they all want Toon legend Shearer in charge.

 

If he can't pull off Shearer, then supporters could be placated by the installation of Billy the Fish, a popular fictional cartoon character from Viz, a legendary Geordie comic. But Ashley is less confident of being able to capture the collection of pencil lines and may opt for a ham and pease pudding Stottie to warm the bench.

 

Fans would be ecstatic with the presence of a local hero, born and bred in gallowgate Greggs, calling the shots."

Edited March 9, 2009 by Happy Face

[Guest alex]

He's alright. I quite liked him on 6-0-6. He's a million times better than the likes of Spoony and Tim Lovejoy.

[Tom 14013]

I think it's because he's wrote a boring and clichéd article that there was really no call for.

[Park Life 71]

Where's he writing now like? The Daily Sport?

 

"Ashley has already pandered to the fans once by appointing Keegan and now they all want Toon legend Shearer in charge.

 

If he can't pull off Shearer, then supporters could be placated by the installation of Billy the Fish, a popular fictional cartoon character from Viz, a legendary Geordie comic. But Ashley is less confident of being able to capture the collection of pencil lines and may opt for a ham and pease pudding Stottie to warm the bench.

 

Fans would be ecstatic with the presence of a local hero, born and bred in gallowgate Greggs, calling the shots."

 

[snakehips 0]

He's aaalreet, but I think he tries a bit too hard and too enthusiastic at times. When he stops and considers what he's going to say, he comes across as a fairly knowledgable chap imo.

[wykikitoon 20713]

I dont think Collymore is a bad pundit tbh, apart from the bit about KK in there I think hes spot on

[Renton 21985]

I dont think Collymore is a bad pundit tbh, apart from the bit about KK in there I think hes spot on

 

If I'm honest I have to question Keegan's motives.

 

I think the notion that Shearer would come to an Ashley-run club is horseshit though.

[tinofbeans 91]

Quoting Renton

"

If I'm honest I have to question Keegan's motives.

 

I think the notion that Shearer would come to an Ashley-run club is horseshit though.

"

any decent manager surely..... not just Anal shearer.