Christmas Tree 4728 Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 Couldnt see a thread already for these. Naturally more Kudos to home made ones. Two for starters. A lady who lived on a hill Used dynamite sticks for a thrill They found her vagina In North Carolina And bits of her tits in Brazil There was a young vampire called Mabel With periods exceedingly stable By the light of the moon She sat down with a spoon And drank herself under the table There was a compendium of lies From Ashley and Mini Me Wise The supporters kept tally And joined in a rally And promised to buy no more pies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 Not limericks as such but these always made me laugh as a kid and nowadays when pissed. The boy stood on the burning deck Eating a tuppenny Walls, A bit dropped down his trouser leg And paralysed his balls. The boy stood on the burning deck Playing a game of cricket, The ball went down his trouser leg And hit his middle wicket. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neville Neville Neville 0 Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 There was a fat man called Ashley Who wore his Newcastle shirt quite bashly He was having loads of fun Till he said goodbye to Keegan Now he wishes he hadn't paid up so rashly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JawD 99 Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 Im sure we've had this before Posting shite for ever more No matter the time Trying to think of a rhyme till it eventually becomes a bore.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig 6682 Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 The all time classic... There was a young lady from Ealing Who had the most perculiar feeling She laid on her back And opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Manson 0 Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 Soccer mom is full of beans But is not quite as she seems Her behaviour is silly For she has a willy And now is being hunted by Meenz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asteroidblitz 12 Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 There was a young man from Belgrade Who fucked a whore in her grave He said ' I know it's sick, to give her a lick But look at the money I save!' ..... There was a young man from Maglosham Who took out his balls to wash em His dad said 'Jack If you you don't but them back I'll jump on the fuckers and squash em' .... There was a young man from Leeds Who swallowed a packet of seeds A blade of grass Shot out of his ass And his balls were covered in weeds -- There was a young man from Brazil Who swallowed an atomic pill His heart retired His ass back-fired And his balls shot over the hill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 4728 Posted November 13, 2009 Author Share Posted November 13, 2009 There was a strange crowd from Toontasic Who thought buying shares quite fantastic they posted all day bout how much to pay And whether Peaspud would take plastic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 There was a strange crowd from ToontasicWho thought buying shares quite fantastic they posted all day bout how much to pay And whether Peaspud would take plastic I know some investors on a forum Who share a lack of decorum When it comes to the vote accord is remote I predict a tumultuous quorum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 7083 Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 tumultuous quorum? Their once was a poster called fop Who worked in a charity shop Fop tried on ladies clothes And fop's flop fop'd expose Now fop's fopped up the fop by a cop Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 4728 Posted November 13, 2009 Author Share Posted November 13, 2009 There was a strange crowd from ToontasicWho thought buying shares quite fantastic they posted all day bout how much to pay And whether Peaspud would take plastic I know some investors on a forum Who share a lack of decorum When it comes to the vote accord is remote I predict a tumultuous quorum they finally raised all the cash and requested a meeting with Ash they paid him by cheque threw him out by the neck then bounced it and went on the lash Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonraider 0 Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 There was a strange crowd from ToontasicWho thought buying shares quite fantastic they posted all day bout how much to pay And whether Peaspud would take plastic I know some investors on a forum Who share a lack of decorum When it comes to the vote accord is remote I predict a tumultuous quorum Love them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom 14011 Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 There was a poster called Accadacca He was a cunt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonraider 0 Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 There was a poster called Accadacca He was a cunt 'C' Word Tom Catmag will be proud of me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WubbleUC 0 Posted November 14, 2009 Share Posted November 14, 2009 Not limericks as such but these always made me laugh as a kid and nowadays when pissed. The boy stood on the burning deck Eating a tuppenny Walls, A bit dropped down his trouser leg And paralysed his balls. The boy stood on the burning deck Playing a game of cricket, The ball went down his trouser leg And hit his middle wicket. The boy stood on the burning deck Playing with fire crackers, A spark shot up his trouser leg And blew off both his knackers I also used to love this as a kid but it's not a limerick either.. One fine day in the middle of the night Two dead men got up to fight Back to back they faced eachother Drew thier swords and shot eachother Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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