Optimistic Nut 145 Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 (edited) I did one of these before the start of last season, so here’s an End of Season Review of the 2005-6 season. **LONG POST ALERT** August After successfully completing the transfers of “proper” players Phil Neville, Craig Moore & Robbie Fowler, Souness leads Newcastle into the Second Leg of the Intertoto Cup with Deportivo La Coruna full of optimism. With neither of the 5 summer signings fully-match fit, Newcastle go into the match with the same side that lost 2-1 in Spain. A Luque penalty after Babayaro’s hair poked him in the eye was enough to secure Deportivo’s passage into the Final. An upbeat Souness comes out to the press to say “Europe has to take a backseat these days. We have to concentrate on finishing in the top 6…to qualify for Europe”. Shepherd finally cracks to Fenerbache & Fulham’s demands and lands Boa Morte & Anelka in a £16m double swoop. “They’ve both scored at St James’ Park before, so they’re just as good as being Geordies in my eyes”, the chairman tells us. After a tough pre-season schedule, Souness, buoyed by his 8 summer signings get set for the opening game down at Arsenal. Due to a lack of match practice however, neither Parker, Emre, Krul, Neville, Moore, Fowler, Boa Morte or Anelka are included. “They’re still just short at the moment”, Souness states, as we go down 2-0 in our last match at Highbury. When asked about the availability of the new signings, Souness says “They’re all very close to being ready”. Shearer’s penalty was enough to see off West Ham in a narrow 1-0 win, while an indirect free-kick helped Shearer to 196 in a Newcastle shirt, and Newcastle to a gutsy 1-1 draw at Bolton. The month draws to a close when Man United steamroll past a depleted Newcastle side 4-0, still with none of their new signings in action. Newcastle end the month in 16th position with just 4 points. September Souness tells us things are looking up, as Neville & Moore finally make their much anticipated debut at St James’ Park against Fulham. Babayaro scores the only goal of the game as he runs the length of the pitch after carrying the ball in his hair. An FA investigation outlaws the “Baba-barber shuffle”, but the result stands. A trip to Ewood Park gave Blackburn fans a chance to hail their ex-boss as they chant what sounded like “Sooooooooooooou” everytime the Scot stepped out of the dugout. Dickov’s penalty was enough as Shearer said an emotional fairwell prematurely after being red-carded for “accidently” kicking Bellamy in the back of the head 3 times. Shearer’s appeal to the FA falls on deaf ears as he threatens to come out of International football retirement to play in Germany 2006. He’s handed a £250 fine and a 1 match-ban, much to the annoyance of Souness & Shepherd, who can’t understand why a proper-Geordie footballer could get such a harsh punishment. Shearer’s suspension finally gives Ameobi the chance to make his first start of the season, with Fowler, Anelka & Boa Morte still not quite ready. A 1-0 win at home to Yeovil in the Second Round of the Carling Cup thanks to a Boumsong header was enough. Shearer returns from suspension to blast home a penalty as Newcastle make it 2 wins in a row. Now just 3 short of the record, Keegan & Souness are united in praise for the legend, saying he’s just as good today as he was all those years ago. 10 points from the first 7 games sees Newcastle end the month up in 11th position. October Andy O’Brien’s own goal gives Newcastle their first away win of the season at Fratton Park. Souness expresses his sympathy for the Irish international, saying, “It’s unfortunate things like that happen to proper players”. Our first ever trip to the JJB stadium draws Wigan’s biggest attendance of the season, as a whopping 4,381 fans from this football-mad corner of Lancashire see Shearer make it 198 not out as he slots home a penalty. More good news for Souness as Krul was deemed fit enough to be named on the bench. Fowler, Anelka, Boa Morte, Emre & Parker make reserve team outings at Kingston Park as they edged ever closer to full-match fitness. The big-one. Tyneside v Wearside. Black & White v Red & White. Newcastle v Sunderland. A close encounter edged Newcastle’s way as Caldwell’s scores an outrageous own-goal…before revealing a Newcastle United tattoo on his chest. Caldwell handed a 2-year ban & is sacked by a furious Mick McCarthy. Is handed a contract by Souness and joins Clark, Watson, Bracewell & Waddle in training with the Newcastle squad. A narrow defeat in the Carling Cup to Chelsea sees yet another Cup slip away. Souness remains positive however, stating the League is what matters. Fowler an un-used sub as the new signings look to be close to making their debuts, as a 1-1 draw at WBA ends Newcastle’s 3 match league winning streak. Souness rewarded for his excellent run of form against hazardous opposition with the Manager of the Month award for October, as Newcastle go into November with 20 points from 11 matches, climbing into the top 6. November Fowler finally makes his debut, replacing Shearer against Birmingham as the Manager of the Month curse hits Souness in a disappointing 0-0 home draw. Not so good news however for the remaining signings awaiting their debuts as their preparations hit a snag as they only manage 87 minutes in a behind closed-doors friendly with Hartlepool. “It’s a minor hiccup, they’re not too far away from being ready for first-team football”, says Souness. An embarrassing 5-0 defeat at Stamford Bridge sees Chelsea pull a whopping 10 points clear at the top of the table. “We are the best team in the world. Average teams such as Newcastle don’t hold us any problems. I thought we should have scored at least another 3 or 4.” Mourinho boasts. Boa Morte & Parker on the bench as Newcastle regain some of their respectability with an encouraging 1-1 draw at Goodison. Souness’ popularity on Merseyside was evident once more as Everton fans chanted “Sooooooou” everytime they saw the Liverpool legend appear from the dugout. Shearer’s penalty takes him to 199…just one short of that elusive record. A disappointing month for Newcastle sees them slip down to 8th, with 21 points from 14 matches. December An unforgettable match at home to Aston Villa, as Newcastle finish the game with just 8 men once more. Boa Morte, Parker & Emre all made their long awaited debuts. However, with all of the substitutions already made, the trio breakdown on 78 minutes and have to be taken off. Newcastle were somehow able to hang-on to the 1-0 win as Fowler notched his first-goal for Newcastle. In a post-match interview, Souness declares it’s just a minor setback, and they should be fully-fit very soon. Finally. The moment Newcastle fans had been waiting for. Two Shearer penalties saw off an off-form Arsenal side as he shot his way into the Newcastle record books. “The man’s record speaks for itself. He’s a Geordie striker for Geordie people” states Shepherd. Anelka makes his debut as Shearer is given a well earned rest after his record-breaking exploits of the previous match. He lasts the full 90 minutes as he hits a hat-trick at struggling West Ham. Anelka is controversial left-out as Newcastle lose out 2-1 at Anfield. Souness backs up his decision by saying, “Nicolas did very well last week, but how can I leave out a man who’s just broke the record?” The year ends with two 1-0 victories against London rivals Charlton & Spurs, as Souness’ decision to stick with Shearer pays off as he makes it Premier League goals 7 & 8 for the season as he notches penalties in both. 36 points from 20 matches sees Newcastle dramatically move into 3rd position, as Souness wins Manager of the Month for the second time this season. January Emre, Parker & Boa Morte finally make their full-debuts as they all score to beat Boro 3-1. They’re all replaced with half an hour to go, with Souness putting a lack of match practice as the reason behind the decision to replace them. A shock upset in the FA Cup as Hull City stun Newcastle with a 1-0 scoreline. “We can now focus our attention on reaching the magic 40 point mark”, an ambitious Souness underlines. It’s two defeats in a row as Shearer’s penalty-miss proved crucial as Fulham ease to a 1-0 victory. A poor month ends in disaster as Newcastle fading title dream was all but killed off with a poor 2-1 defeat at home to Souness’ ex-club Blackburn. Souness signs Olivier Bernard as he beats the transfer deadline to bring him home. “He’s been without a club for so long it will obviously be a few weeks before he’s ready to play”. Newcastle’s poor month sees them slip out of the top 4 as they begin the New Year with 39 points from 23 matches. February Andy Cole haunts his old-club once again, as he scores the only goal of the game in a disappointing 1-0 defeat at Manchester City to make it 4 defeats in a row. The losing streak ends, but Newcastle still can’t win, as another O’Brien own goal saves Newcastle a point. “We’re just on a bit of a downer at the minute. We’re proper players, the dressing-room is united and I’m sure we’ll pick things up. We’ve now reached 40 points so we can relax a bit more.” The terrible run of 2006 continued as a stunning Solano free-kick gives Aston Villa the points. Olivier Bernard starts training with the first-team squad as he edges closer to a reserve team outing. Alan Shearer given a rest, as Newcastle bounce back to winning ways in stunning fashion as Anelka’s 2nd hat-trick for the club gives Newcastle a 3-0 win against Everton. The month ends with Newcastle down in 7th with 43 points from 27 matches. March Alan Shearer is recalled to the side in place of Anelka for the visit of Bolton. Anelka goes in a sulk and flies to Paris for the week. Shearer’s penalty was enough as Souness’ decision to recall the legendary number 9 was once again totally justifiable. Anelka returns to training and is fined a month’s wages. His agent demands a transfer and Souness says “He’ll never play for me again”. “When you sulk because you’re left out in favour of a Geordie, then you might as well be a Mackem. We’re a Geordie club. Geordies are rock hard. Don’t mess with Geordies”, was the chilling message to Anelka from the chairman. Back to football, and a shocking 3-0 defeat at Old Trafford was followed up with a 1-0 home defeat to Liverpool. An abysmal 2006 got even worse as another Shearer penalty wasn’t enough to beat Charlton as an Ambrose stunner gave the Addicks a share of the spoils. The month ends with Newcastle now in 9th, with 47 points from 31 games. April A article in “The Sun” by ex left-winger Laurent Robert causes controversy as he calls Souness a “bully”, and Shepherd “fat”. Robert is fined a months wages. Souness & Shepherd apologise as it turns out to be an April Fools prank...according to the Frenchman’s website. As for the visit of Spurs, Shearer’s penalty won the day. A goal off Viduka’s arse was enough to give Boro the bragging rights as Newcastle couldn’t breakdown the home side. Unfortunately, the FA decides not to outlaw the “Viduka bazooka”. Shearer notches a hat-trick of penalties as Wigan are thrashed 3-0, and are sent tumbling back down into the Championship. “This is the big-one. Every single Geordie will be willing us on”. Shepherd delivers a spirited speech to rally the troops as we head to Wearside. Fowler nets in a boring 1-0 win…but it’s still enough to send Sunderland the same way as Wigan. Newcastle make it a hat-trick as they send WBA down with a fantastic 4-0 win. A Shearer double (one a header!), and Fowler’s brace sees off the Baggies. “They’re definitely back in form now”, says Souness. On the penultimate day of the season, an Emre volley gives Newcastle a chance of snatching a Champions League place for next season, as Newcastle go into the final day with 59 points from 37 games. May Shearer bows out of the game with a trademark Shearer performance. A stunning volley sent Newcastle into dreamland, but a late Drogba equaliser, meant Newcastle had to settle for a spot in the UEFA Cup. “We’re not quite ready for the Champions League just yet anyway”, says Souness. Bernard made his debut coming on for Neville in the last 5 minutes. Edited July 29, 2005 by Optimistic Nut Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ketsbaia 0 Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 “When you sulk because you’re left out in favour of a Geordie, then you might as well be a Mackem. We’re a Geordie club. Geordies are rock hard. Don’t mess with Geordies”, was the chilling message to Anelka from the chairman. 4299[/snapback] Souness is really SuperSimonWood? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Mighty Hog 518 Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 Great stuff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Shearer Is God 0 Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 ahahahaha - Quality that is mate. Well done! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ally 0 Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 Very enjoyable, you've got too much time! Made me think there though, its going to be really wierd seeing Shearer play for the last time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackies the Lad 0 Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 Imagination gone wild, spot on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeazesMag 0 Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 ON....you should submit that to Truth Faith or the mag mate. Very good. PS if you don't can I nick it from you and I will Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Optimistic Nut 145 Posted August 21, 2005 Author Share Posted August 21, 2005 Perhaps my radar was a little off in August. My wires crossed and actually it was Luque to sign for us not score against us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papa Lazaru 0 Posted August 21, 2005 Share Posted August 21, 2005 You can easilly do an end of season review now as it may as well be over! Also did anyone notice in the West Ham game they announced Taylor as mon of the matcn with 10 minutes to go! It was basically them saying, well we know Souness team is going to do fuck all else in 10 mins so we may as well decide MOTM now with no fear of anybody snatching a goal or something! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheInspiration 1 Posted August 21, 2005 Share Posted August 21, 2005 Hahaha, awesome. How badly will Robert get booed when we play Portsmouth? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papa Lazaru 0 Posted August 21, 2005 Share Posted August 21, 2005 Hahaha, awesome. How badly will Robert get booed when we play Portsmouth? 15607[/snapback] God knows, probably get a mixed reception as befits the split in fans when he was here. I did notice that for Portsmouth he scored a goal and set up an easy chance that was missed yesterday, if we'd had that against West Ham we could have snatched an undeserved win! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackies the Lad 0 Posted August 21, 2005 Share Posted August 21, 2005 You can easilly do an end of season review now as it may as well be over! Also did anyone notice in the West Ham game they announced Taylor as mon of the matcn with 10 minutes to go! It was basically them saying, well we know Souness team is going to do fuck all else in 10 mins so we may as well decide MOTM now with no fear of anybody snatching a goal or something! 15590[/snapback] Two games on and we're predicting that this will be the beginning of the end of our season if this PRAT remains as the NUFC manager. A home game against a 10 man team who has just been promoted, and a defender is named as man of the match, (with 10 mins to go) FFSSSSAKE!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Optimistic Nut 145 Posted August 21, 2005 Author Share Posted August 21, 2005 Were Arsenal much better against us last week? I don't think so. Just they got the lucky break with the penalty, we didn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crawford01 0 Posted August 21, 2005 Share Posted August 21, 2005 loved the bit about makosi and the hair shuffle! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheInspiration 1 Posted August 21, 2005 Share Posted August 21, 2005 Hahaha, awesome. How badly will Robert get booed when we play Portsmouth? 15607[/snapback] God knows, probably get a mixed reception as befits the split in fans when he was here. I did notice that for Portsmouth he scored a goal and set up an easy chance that was missed yesterday, if we'd had that against West Ham we could have snatched an undeserved win! 15610[/snapback] That's what I thought, he's pleased the fans and contributed well. He forced himself to thank them as well, in his own fashion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smoggeordie 0 Posted August 21, 2005 Share Posted August 21, 2005 Quality mate, not as good as last seasons though when gazza resigned for the toon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Optimistic Nut 145 Posted September 15, 2005 Author Share Posted September 15, 2005 Some of the names are wrong, but it looks like I got the injury thing almost spot on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Sima Posted September 15, 2005 Share Posted September 15, 2005 10 points from the first 7 games? We'll be lucky to get 10 from the first 17 the way we are playing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now