wykikitoon 21484 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 Made my bed, so now sleep in it Live by the sword..... etc Ive had them all going through my head today, so, wtf is Darth talking about? Ive been going out with my partner for 3 years. Last year we bought out house and it needed some serious work on it. We grafted hard along with her old man with 14 months and 5 months ago got it finished and moved in. Anyways, since day one we moved in, its not been great. I feel I am always getting told off for leaving lids off this, not putting XYZ back to here and there. Little petty shitty things. Added to that, I dont have sex any more and for 4 months of this building up I had literally had enough. My partner is a great lass, really outgoing enjoys a pint and a laugh. Now this has brought attention of many a man. Attention I dont deal with very well. I bottle it up and it gets to me. This attention however, has never ever (I hope) made her stray. She is well in with the Hockey club girls (ooo errr) and likes to go out on the socials etc. Now, sometimes these socials I dont get told about until the last minute which does my head in. There is very little communication on that side of the relationship. Anyways, so what am I getting at? Well, my mate was out with his work colleagues the other week and I met him for a few. He had a couple of female colleagues out with him, one I got on really well with. She got my number from my mate and started texting me. Anyway, I met her for a drink one night and thats all. I got a buzz like when I first started going out with my Gfriend. Soemthing my gfreind and I havent had in 7-8 months. Anyways, Ive texted this girl a bit and thats all. I havent had anything else to do with her, Ive not kissed her or had sex with her. Anyways, one morning last week my gfriend looked at my phone and looked at these messages and she quite clearly went a little beserk. The worse of the messages was "Missing you, goodnight". So, last night we had a chat and I went for a walk, whilst I was out I was trying to phone this girl to tell her I was happy with my gfriend and that was it. Whilst I was out my Gfriend came round the corner and again wasnt happy. She took my phone off me there and then. Last night we didnt really talk too much, mainly because I had been drinking and didnt want to argue on a fuzzy head. Anyways, we went to bed, this morning she went off to hockey with my phone. So she didnt phone anyone up and cause a mess I phoned Orange up and got the SIM blocked, this was a bad move as she said that added more doubt. Now, I havent seen her since 13:00 and I am shitting myself I love her and dont want to loose her at all, but I think its gone beyond that. I am worried about her mum and dad finding out too. Her parents are great and I feel so ashamed and I feel Ive let them down. Her dad have us quiet a bit of dosh to do the house up and I know thats going to come up soon. I really dont know what to do. I am not looking for sympathy here at all, I know what Ive done is bad etc, I just want some advice. Ive tried calling her and her phone is off, Ive left her a message asking her to get in touch to let me know she is ok. Cheers all Martin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom 14021 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 I have no idea but I hope you get it sorted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paddy 17 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 jesus Martin, i feel for ya fella, have you tried her folks house? or her mates? re the communication issue, i feel this is what has let me down in my relationship, its a mistake i will never make again, i will keep my fingers crossed for you and hope that everything works itself out. take it easy shaun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 21484 Posted October 25, 2008 Author Share Posted October 25, 2008 jesus Martin, i feel for ya fella, have you tried her folks house? or her mates? re the communication issue, i feel this is what has let me down in my relationship, its a mistake i will never make again, i will keep my fingers crossed for you and hope that everything works itself out. take it easy shaun Cheers Marra I am too scared of phoning her folks incase she hasnt told them or if she has too. She was due to gan out with the hockey girls tonight, I dont have any of their numbers and If I did they prob wanna kill me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazarus 0 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 technically - all youve done is a little bit of window shopping but youve hit the nail on the head already - you and your lass and talking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 21484 Posted October 25, 2008 Author Share Posted October 25, 2008 technically - all youve done is a little bit of window shopping but youve hit the nail on the head already - you and your lass and talking. Well its a little more than window shopping. I cant seem to talk to her about certain issues as I get a lot of blame when its not even my fault, or thats how it feels. I am shitting it if she is out tonight and pulls My life would be over tbh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazarus 0 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 No it wont. if you wanna stay under the same roof - your gonna have to talk to each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paddy 17 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 technically - all youve done is a little bit of window shopping but youve hit the nail on the head already - you and your lass and talking. Well its a little more than window shopping. I cant seem to talk to her about certain issues as I get a lot of blame when its not even my fault, or thats how it feels. I am shitting it if she is out tonight and pulls My life would be over tbh the (soontobe) ex went out with a mate from work last night (female) and i was papping it too, even though i know its over and is final it still hurts me to think of her with anyone else :-( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 21484 Posted October 25, 2008 Author Share Posted October 25, 2008 No it wont. if you wanna stay under the same roof - your gonna have to talk to each other. Aye I totally know what youre saying. God, what a penis I am Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paddy 17 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 No it wont. if you wanna stay under the same roof - your gonna have to talk to each other. agreed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 31588 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 I suppose from her point of view the fact that you haven't done anything sexual with this girl is irrelevant, the fact is that she probably thinks that the trust is gone and that is the problem. You'll have to stress to her that you had no intention of doing anything with this girl and explain what you think the problems are in your relationship and relate that to what you've done. And if it's any consolation, from what you say I doubt she's away out on the pull, she probably just feels very hurt at the moment but hopefully it's not beyond repair. Good luck with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 21484 Posted October 25, 2008 Author Share Posted October 25, 2008 I suppose from her point of view the fact that you haven't done anything sexual with this girl is irrelevant, the fact is that she probably thinks that the trust is gone and that is the problem. You'll have to stress to her that you had no intention of doing anything with this girl and explain what you think the problems are in your relationship and relate that to what you've done. And if it's any consolation, from what you say I doubt she's away out on the pull, she probably just feels very hurt at the moment but hopefully it's not beyond repair. Good luck with it. Oh aye, if she had done it to me, It still is cheating tbh. Not of the crudest sense. She said she cant trust me one bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Manson 0 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 Have you tried writing down everything that you're feeling in a letter? At least it'll allow you to visualize what you'd say to her, or you can convey how you feel alot more easily than you would talking. Hope things work out for the best though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Douggy B 0 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 She will forgive you, good birds always do. I have been with my other half for ten years, and following every bad patch we have had, follows a really good patch. Get pissed a tell her the truth (lets face it you have done nothing really wrong) and apologise like your life depends on it. Seems to work for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 21484 Posted October 25, 2008 Author Share Posted October 25, 2008 Have you tried writing down everything that you're feeling in a letter? At least it'll allow you to visualize what you'd say to her, or you can convey how you feel alot more easily than you would talking. Hope things work out for the best though. Sort of. I once wrote an email but that went on about bollocks and she wasnt happy after that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jill 0 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 I suppose from her point of view the fact that you haven't done anything sexual with this girl is irrelevant, the fact is that she probably thinks that the trust is gone and that is the problem. You'll have to stress to her that you had no intention of doing anything with this girl and explain what you think the problems are in your relationship and relate that to what you've done. And if it's any consolation, from what you say I doubt she's away out on the pull, she probably just feels very hurt at the moment but hopefully it's not beyond repair. Good luck with it. Hope you can sort it out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SloopJohn 0 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 say everything you've said in this post to her. don't bottle it up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Dynamite 7312 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 You havent cheated on her!!! Tell her its her fault for not putting out and she needs to sort it out if she wants to keep you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Dynamite 7312 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 Or alternatively just tell her the truth, you feel things have gone stale and enjoyed flirting but nowt more. And stop being a mong and ringing her still after all this has happened Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ally 0 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 You (and 99% of men) would react in exactly the same way if you found messages on her phone from a bloke tbh. She'll probably just be sobbing over a glass of wine at her girlfriend's house, I wouldn't worry mate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 21484 Posted October 25, 2008 Author Share Posted October 25, 2008 You (and 99% of men) would react in exactly the same way if you found messages on her phone from a bloke tbh. She'll probably just be sobbing over a glass of wine at her girlfriend's house, I wouldn't worry mate. My Gfriend once shouted for me to check something on her phone. I made th mistake of checking her text messages. 3 were from a lad in her hockey club saying he wanted to basically sleep with her. I have kept that bottled up for months and have still not said anything, basically becuase she didnt text anything back other than "Hahaha" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 21484 Posted October 25, 2008 Author Share Posted October 25, 2008 Tried calling her again, this time the phone is on and no answer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paddy 17 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 Tried calling her again, this time the phone is on and no answer try 141 so she does not know its you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 47071 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 Send her a text from some free online service (I'm assuming you don't have a mobile handy to send one). Tell her if she doesn't come home soon you'll text her who gets booted off X Factor. Seriously though, if you want to get a message to her that seems the best way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 21484 Posted October 25, 2008 Author Share Posted October 25, 2008 Send her a text from some free online service (I'm assuming you don't have a mobile handy to send one). Tell her if she doesn't come home soon you'll text her who gets booted off X Factor. Seriously though, if you want to get a message to her that seems the best way. Ive sent her one. Just come back from looking for her, nee sign in the hockey peeps usual places. Im in fucking bits man Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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