Steve 0 Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 at the risk of sounding like a softlad, i dont think i would ever be able to love anyone the way i love her........... At the risk of sounding like an internet hardlad, the only cure for the last one is the next one. I feel for you, I really do. But give yourself time. Do you really want stay with her where she's not happy which in turn would make you unhappy? Do whatever it is that makes you happy, spend time with your son, and try not to get bitter about the bitch. And, in time, you will move on. Then again I've never been married, nor have I been in a relationship longer than a couple of years and lately can't get past the three week mark without getting bored of the girl so what do I know? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ketsbaia 0 Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 at the risk of sounding like a softlad, i dont think i would ever be able to love anyone the way i love her........... At the risk of sounding like an internet hardlad, the only cure for the last one is the next one. I feel for you, I really do. But give yourself time. Do you really want stay with her where she's not happy which in turn would make you unhappy? Do whatever it is that makes you happy, spend time with your son, and try not to get bitter about the bitch. And, in time, you will move on. Then again I've never been married, nor have I been in a relationship longer than a couple of years and lately can't get past the three week mark without getting bored of the girl so what do I know? Have you even ever had a first one? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paddy 17 Posted September 28, 2008 Author Share Posted September 28, 2008 well guys i got home at 930 we have sat and chatted and its over, its the old 'its not you its me' bollocks, she said she has changed and i'm a really nice guy etc etc etc but from tomorrow i'm house hunting!!, thinking about returning home but the pull of the kids is greater than the pull of the toon, but on a brighter note (if thats possible) i will be making some of the get togethers at last!!! and all being well i will have a nice bacholer pad any anyone wants digs for the Blackburn match lol on a serious note, cheers for your words of support its strange who you can turn to in times like this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Kenneth Noisewater 0 Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 I feel your pain brother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 First Keegan and now Paddy's missus. Why do the people Toontasticers love keep walking out on us? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 7066 Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 good luck sorting it all out paddy. life can be a right fucking pain in the arse, eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catmag 336 Posted September 29, 2008 Share Posted September 29, 2008 ... thinking about returning home but the pull of the kids is greater than the pull of the toon, Really sorry to hear about this paddy but no matter how much it hurts you always have to make all your decisions based on what is best for the kids. Time will sort the rest of the mess out. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 19807 Posted September 29, 2008 Share Posted September 29, 2008 Good luck Paddy Marra Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheInspiration 1 Posted September 29, 2008 Share Posted September 29, 2008 Good luck sorting things out paddy. Have to admit, it sounds like your wife isn't helping by not making an effort to sort things out because surely deep down she knows what's best for her family is for things to stay the way they are? Now you're having to leave the house as well it seems. Maybe also she or both of you could seek counselling to handle the situation? That's just my take on the situation though and I've never been married (I've only just started university), but I know other people do that and I've had counselling for other personal, which I am very grateful for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetleftpeg 0 Posted September 29, 2008 Share Posted September 29, 2008 Bloody women eh? Nah, I just hope that however gutted you are that you can both get on with your lives for the sake of the little fella. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 7066 Posted September 29, 2008 Share Posted September 29, 2008 Bloody women eh? Nah, I just hope that however gutted you are that you can both get on with your lives for the sake of the little fella. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Kenneth Noisewater 0 Posted September 29, 2008 Share Posted September 29, 2008 Do whatever it is that makes you happy, spend time with your son, and try not to get bitter about the bitch. And, in time, you will move on. Then again I've never been married, nor have I been in a relationship longer than a couple of years and lately can't get past the three week mark without getting bored of the girl so what do I know? ... thinking about returning home but the pull of the kids is greater than the pull of the toon, Really sorry to hear about this paddy but no matter how much it hurts you always have to make all your decisions based on what is best for the kids. Time will sort the rest of the mess out. Good luck What if these aren't compatible? Is it better both parents staying together for the benefit of the kids but being bitter, resentful and unhappy? Or is it better for all concerned if the family split, but the parents find happiness with someone else? Is a kid brought up by a warring couple any better off than one brought up by happy single parents? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 7066 Posted September 29, 2008 Share Posted September 29, 2008 Do whatever it is that makes you happy, spend time with your son, and try not to get bitter about the bitch. And, in time, you will move on. Then again I've never been married, nor have I been in a relationship longer than a couple of years and lately can't get past the three week mark without getting bored of the girl so what do I know? ... thinking about returning home but the pull of the kids is greater than the pull of the toon, Really sorry to hear about this paddy but no matter how much it hurts you always have to make all your decisions based on what is best for the kids. Time will sort the rest of the mess out. Good luck What if these aren't compatible? Is it better both parents staying together for the benefit of the kids but being bitter, resentful and unhappy? Or is it better for all concerned if the family split, but the parents find happiness with someone else? Is a kid brought up by a warring couple any better off than one brought up by happy single parents? Almost certainly worse off imho. The affect it has upon your perception, and therefore acting out, of adult relationships is untold. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paddy 17 Posted September 29, 2008 Author Share Posted September 29, 2008 tbh i was brought up by a couple that i thought were solid, my dad used to hit my mum at times when i was a kid, i moved out about 9 years ago and they are still together, and from what i cani see they are in love! nothing has happened for about 15 years and i put it down to my gran, (dads mam) she was very controling and thought she knew best, so my dad sided with her over things, i rememeber him throwing a tea cup at me when i said that i did not want to go to st cuthberts!!!! thing is i love them both to bits but find it hard to tell them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catmag 336 Posted September 29, 2008 Share Posted September 29, 2008 Do whatever it is that makes you happy, spend time with your son, and try not to get bitter about the bitch. And, in time, you will move on. Then again I've never been married, nor have I been in a relationship longer than a couple of years and lately can't get past the three week mark without getting bored of the girl so what do I know? ... thinking about returning home but the pull of the kids is greater than the pull of the toon, Really sorry to hear about this paddy but no matter how much it hurts you always have to make all your decisions based on what is best for the kids. Time will sort the rest of the mess out. Good luck What if these aren't compatible? Is it better both parents staying together for the benefit of the kids but being bitter, resentful and unhappy? Or is it better for all concerned if the family split, but the parents find happiness with someone else? Is a kid brought up by a warring couple any better off than one brought up by happy single parents? Of course it's better for the kids if they split if one of the parents isn't prepared to be in the marriage anymore. Steve said for him to do what makes him happy but he doesn't appear to have any say in the matter as she has made her decision. All I meant was, that when deciding on things like whether to live in Blackburn or up north then he needs to make his decision with his kids very much in mind, however much he's hurting personally. It's just an awful situation which he has no control over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paddy 17 Posted September 29, 2008 Author Share Posted September 29, 2008 Do whatever it is that makes you happy, spend time with your son, and try not to get bitter about the bitch. And, in time, you will move on. Then again I've never been married, nor have I been in a relationship longer than a couple of years and lately can't get past the three week mark without getting bored of the girl so what do I know? ... thinking about returning home but the pull of the kids is greater than the pull of the toon, Really sorry to hear about this paddy but no matter how much it hurts you always have to make all your decisions based on what is best for the kids. Time will sort the rest of the mess out. Good luck What if these aren't compatible? Is it better both parents staying together for the benefit of the kids but being bitter, resentful and unhappy? Or is it better for all concerned if the family split, but the parents find happiness with someone else? Is a kid brought up by a warring couple any better off than one brought up by happy single parents? Of course it's better for the kids if they split if one of the parents isn't prepared to be in the marriage anymore. Steve said for him to do what makes him happy but he doesn't appear to have any say in the matter as she has made her decision. All I meant was, that when deciding on things like whether to live in Blackburn or up north then he needs to make his decision with his kids very much in mind, however much he's hurting personally. It's just an awful situation which he has no control over. thats the thing, if the kids are happier with dad living elsewhere and mum at home then fair enough, i think thats the route we are taking, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bawan 0 Posted September 30, 2008 Share Posted September 30, 2008 Sorry to hear about this pal. Hope all works out for the better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paddy 17 Posted October 4, 2008 Author Share Posted October 4, 2008 well guys 100% finished now, still living there at the moment but moving out asap, feeling more positive about things, time to move on, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peasepud 59 Posted October 4, 2008 Share Posted October 4, 2008 well guys 100% finished now, still living there at the moment but moving out asap, feeling more positive about things, time to move on, I know its hard to face mate but unless you were under the belief that all was rosy and well then you'll find that life will be good in the future, just make sure that you look to all the things you wanted to do but couldnt because you were married. I dont mean shagging the blonde from number 5 (although if you get the chance ) I mean plans, aspirations etc. Change job if you want to, follow that career you really wanted. As long as you now have enough money for the maintenance and to keep yourself alive then you can do anything you want. If however, you sit at home and stew on it then it'll eat you up. Good luck marra. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paddy 17 Posted October 4, 2008 Author Share Posted October 4, 2008 well guys 100% finished now, still living there at the moment but moving out asap, feeling more positive about things, time to move on, I know its hard to face mate but unless you were under the belief that all was rosy and well then you'll find that life will be good in the future, just make sure that you look to all the things you wanted to do but couldnt because you were married. I dont mean shagging the blonde from number 5 (although if you get the chance ) I mean plans, aspirations etc. Change job if you want to, follow that career you really wanted. As long as you now have enough money for the maintenance and to keep yourself alive then you can do anything you want. If however, you sit at home and stew on it then it'll eat you up. Good luck marra. cheers mate, the penny dropped on thurday and yesterday, i was at some big awards do for work and sat up chatting till 4.30 with a couple of people who have been through what i'm going through and it was so much clearer after it (and the lass there was fit as.... ) anyway posh apartment here we come......xboz or ps3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
triggy99 0 Posted October 4, 2008 Share Posted October 4, 2008 well guys 100% finished now, still living there at the moment but moving out asap, feeling more positive about things, time to move on, I know its hard to face mate but unless you were under the belief that all was rosy and well then you'll find that life will be good in the future, just make sure that you look to all the things you wanted to do but couldnt because you were married. I dont mean shagging the blonde from number 5 (although if you get the chance ) I mean plans, aspirations etc. Change job if you want to, follow that career you really wanted. As long as you now have enough money for the maintenance and to keep yourself alive then you can do anything you want. If however, you sit at home and stew on it then it'll eat you up. Good luck marra. cheers mate, the penny dropped on thurday and yesterday, i was at some big awards do for work and sat up chatting till 4.30 with a couple of people who have been through what i'm going through and it was so much clearer after it (and the lass there was fit as.... ) anyway posh apartment here we come......xboz or ps3 xbox is the better out of the two Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted October 4, 2008 Share Posted October 4, 2008 Sounds like a really shit scenario to be in mate, time is a healer though, good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 44109 Posted October 4, 2008 Share Posted October 4, 2008 PS3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom 14011 Posted October 4, 2008 Share Posted October 4, 2008 PS3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
triggy99 0 Posted October 4, 2008 Share Posted October 4, 2008 PS3 xbox is better because of live Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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