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Kate Garraway


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Kate Garraway - News: Clicky

 

I'LL FEED ANYTHING THAT MOVES, SAYS GARRAWAY

 

garcow1.jpg

Would you like us to leave the room?

 

TV presenter Kate Garraway last night pledged to pump milk into anything that can suck it.

 

Garraway, who has made a documentary about adopting a baby cow, said she wished every mammal in the world could enjoy a few minutes at her fulsome, bulging nipples.

 

The GMTV star added: "Cows are my heroes. I want to be milked twice a day.

 

"I want to wander in from the fields, get down on all fours, have those big suction cups attached to my udders and then moo gently while they pump the goodness out of me.

 

"And I want my mummy juice to be sold in big plastic bottles with a lovely illustration of me with a dandelion in my mouth."

 

The TV star said her new Garraway Farms brand would offer full-fat milk, a rich, mature cheddar, a range of organic fruit yoghurts and a gooey, brie-like substance.

 

"In the meantime I'm happy to suckle random children up to the age of 16, or anything else you happen to have handy.

 

"Pigs, donkeys or perhaps a thirsty traffic warden with a calcium deficiency."

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Expedition leader Professor Wayne Hayes said: "I was filling my water bottle when I saw this huge fucking thing and I shouted to my mate Dave, I said, 'Dave, look at the size of that fucker!' and Dave was like, 'Jesus Christ, it's a fucking monster!

 

:icon_lol:

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Expedition leader Professor Wayne Hayes said: "I was filling my water bottle when I saw this huge fucking thing and I shouted to my mate Dave, I said, 'Dave, look at the size of that fucker!' and Dave was like, 'Jesus Christ, it's a fucking monster!

 

:icon_lol:

 

I quite liked

 

"Dave tried to give it a fruit pastille but it wasn't interested."

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