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Sunday's Made Up News


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Real Madrid hope to sign Arsenal's Cesc Fabregas after conceding defeat in their pursuit of Cristiano Ronaldo. (News of the World)

 

Manchester United have bid £20m for Tottenham striker Dimitar Berbatov but are set to end their interest because the asking price could soar to £38m. (Various)

 

United are willing to pay £25m for Berbatov but a row between Sir Alex Ferguson and Tottenham chairman Daniel Levy could threaten the deal. (Sunday Times)

 

Ferguson is considering signing Barcelona's Samuel Eto'o, Blackburn's Roque Santa Cruz, Valencia's David Villa or Lyon's Karim Benzema instead of Berbatov. (Sunday Times)

 

Or, United are set to finally land Berbatov this week, for a fee of £24m (Sunday Express)

 

Barcelona, AC Milan, Newcastle and Manchester City are all chasing Berbatov too. (Sunday Express)

 

Real Madrid also want David Villa, a move seen in Spain as an admission they cannot sign Ronaldo. (Sunday Times)

 

Liverpool are ready to abandon their chase of Aston Villa midfielder Gareth Barry and will spend their money on Tottenham's Robbie Keane instead. (News of the World)

 

The sale of Keane to Liverpool will allow Tottenham to chase David Villa, who is valued at £25m. (Sunday Telegraph)

 

Chelsea have bid £31.5m for Real Madrid star Robinho and could get their man for £35m this week. (Sunday Telegraph)

 

If Chelsea do land Robinho they will not pursue fellow Brazilian Kaka. (Sunday Telegraph)

 

Kaka is happy at AC Milan and is in no hurry to leave, according to his agent Gaetano Paolillo. (Independent on Sunday)

 

Newcastle have made a shock £4m bid for Arsenal defender Philippe Senderos. (Mail on Sunday)

 

Rangers want Middlesbrough winger Adam Johnson and Sunderland midfielder Dickson Etuhu. (News of the World)

 

Sacked ex-Chelsea boss Avram Grant has not been paid any compensation since he left Stamford Bridge in May. (News of the World)

 

Chelsea midfielder Michael Ballack says he intends to retire in two year's time at the age of 33. (Daily Mirror)

 

Liverpool's owners failed in their latest attempt to show they have the finances to pay for the club's new £400m Stanley Park Stadium. (News of the World)

 

Arsene Wenger could give William Gallas a second chance as Arsenal captain in order to keep him at the club. (Sunday Express)

 

Manchester United boss Sir Alex Ferguson wants his former assistant, new Portugal boss Carlos Queiroz, to be his successor as manager at Old Trafford. (Sunday Express)

 

Tottenham's assistant boss Gus Poyet has again emerged as a leading candidate to replace Queiroz as Ferguson's number two. (Mail on Sunday)

 

Tottenham striker Dimitar Berbatov never goes to nightclubs and says he prefers to stay at home and feed squirrels from his balcony. (News of the World)

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A. Manchester City? Fuck Off

B. Unless Arsenal are planning on playing with one centre back at the start of next season, Senderos isn't happening.

C. Squirrel's? Cock off

D. Gus has already stated he is going no where.

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If Senderos is sold, it could mean the Gunners are suffering from financial problems. (Mail on Sunday)

 

Middlesbrough are keen on Blackburn midfielder David Dunn. (News of the World)

 

Newcastle goalkeeper Shay Given is still in doubt, with Arsenal believed to be interested. (News of the World)

 

Leeds have agreed a £300,000 deal for Wolves striker Jay Bothroyd. (News of the World)

Edited by Offshore Toon
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Guest Stevie

The biggest made up news story is by that fat jock bastard Brian McNally in the Sunday Mirror, saying our season ticket sales have been disasterous when the ticket office reckon less than 2% didn't renew.

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A. Manchester City? Fuck Off

B. Unless Arsenal are planning on playing with one centre back at the start of next season, Senderos isn't happening.

C. Squirrel's? Cock off

D. Gus has already stated he is going no where.

 

A. Berbatov is going.

B. Keane is going.

C. You are a selling club.

D. You are forever in Arsenal's shadow.

E. Sod off.

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Berbatov_375683a.jpg

 

:icon_lol:

 

Newcatle United and Manchester United are battling it out for Dimitar Berbatov, according to the News of the World.

 

The Spurs striker has been heavily linked with a move away from White Hart Lane and new Toon boss Kevin Keegan is said to be a big fan of the Bulgarian.

 

Berbatov grew up as a Newcastle fan and idolised Alan Shearer.

 

Berbatov's mother Margarita revealed: "As a boy Dimitar used to sleep in his Newcastle shirt. It was that special to him.

 

"He told me it was his dream to play for Newcastle one day and wear the same shirt as Alan Shearer, who is my son's hero."

 

Not a chance in hell. Danny B tricked me before and I have to admit I was enthralled by the prospect but I was in dreamland. :icon_lol:

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UNITED TO QUIT ON BERBATOV

 

By DAVID HARRISON

 

MANCHESTER UNITED are set to pull the plug on their bid to sign Tottenham striker Dimitar Berbatov.

 

United have become aware that Spurs are willing to sell the Bulgarian to any club BUT themselves despite the European champions making a £20million bid for the player.

 

And the asking price could soar to £38m after United’s interest provoked a public spat between Spurs chairman Daniel Levy and Sir Alex Ferguson over alleged tapping-up of Berbatov, with Tottenham lodging a formal complaint with the Premier League.

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A. Manchester City? Fuck Off

B. Unless Arsenal are planning on playing with one centre back at the start of next season, Senderos isn't happening.

C. Squirrel's? Cock off

D. Gus has already stated he is going no where.

 

A. Berbatov is going.

B. Keane is going.

C. You are a selling club.

D. You are forever in Arsenal's shadow.

E. Sod off.

 

 

 

:icon_lol: ... feeding fuckin' squirels :icon_lol:

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UNITED TO QUIT ON BERBATOV

 

By DAVID HARRISON

 

MANCHESTER UNITED are set to pull the plug on their bid to sign Tottenham striker Dimitar Berbatov.

 

United have become aware that Spurs are willing to sell the Bulgarian to any club BUT themselves despite the European champions making a £20million bid for the player.

 

And the asking price could soar to £38m after United's interest provoked a public spat between Spurs chairman Daniel Levy and Sir Alex Ferguson over alleged tapping-up of Berbatov, with Tottenham lodging a formal complaint with the Premier League.

 

Funny that Sir Alex doesn't see anything wrong with tapping up other people's players, but was quite upset with the way things have been going on with Ronaldo.

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UNITED TO QUIT ON BERBATOV

 

By DAVID HARRISON

 

MANCHESTER UNITED are set to pull the plug on their bid to sign Tottenham striker Dimitar Berbatov.

 

United have become aware that Spurs are willing to sell the Bulgarian to any club BUT themselves despite the European champions making a £20million bid for the player.

 

And the asking price could soar to £38m after United’s interest provoked a public spat between Spurs chairman Daniel Levy and Sir Alex Ferguson over alleged tapping-up of Berbatov, with Tottenham lodging a formal complaint with the Premier League.

 

:icon_lol: :icon_lol:

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