sweetleftpeg 0 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Yes it's the obligatory 'Best Man Speech' help post that pops up from time to time. I've got to do one in a couple of weeks, anyone seen anything original lately? I'm not looking forward to it like, all the best man speeches I've seen fall into two categories...either the same jokes that get churned out again and again..or either really really unfunny and cringeworthy. I want to steal ideas..but not so that loads of people will go 'it's been done!' Also, I'll probably shit myself less if I think I've got at least one quality moment in there.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Yes it's the obligatory 'Best Man Speech' help post that pops up from time to time. I've got to do one in a couple of weeks, anyone seen anything original lately? I'm not looking forward to it like, all the best man speeches I've seen fall into two categories...either the same jokes that get churned out again and again..or either really really unfunny and cringeworthy. I want to steal ideas..but not so that loads of people will go 'it's been done!' Also, I'll probably shit myself less if I think I've got at least one quality moment in there.. Get a projector or a big screen set up and just take the piss out old photos. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj 17 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Happy Face didn't you create a thread on this a canny while ago when you were doing one? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Happy Face didn't you create a thread on this a canny while ago when you were doing one? I did. And I was great. ...except for holding my notes in front of my face so no-one could see or hear me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 15561 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Start with "They say the best man's speech is the worst five minutes of the groom's day. The bride's worst five minutes, of course, come later." Sorted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj 17 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Happy Face didn't you create a thread on this a canny while ago when you were doing one? I did. And I was great. ...except for holding my notes in front of my face so no-one could see or hear me. Then bring that thread up from the archives man! Who was it for btw? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Happy Face didn't you create a thread on this a canny while ago when you were doing one? I did. And I was great. ...except for holding my notes in front of my face so no-one could see or hear me. Then bring that thread up from the archives man! Who was it for btw? A lad I know through work...that's what made it difficult, I'd only known him a few years. You're the admin, merge them! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Start with "They say the best man's speech is the worst five minutes of the groom's day. The bride's worst five minutes, of course, come later." Sorted. Ladies and gentlemen, if I could just say a few words.....I'd be a better public speaker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj 17 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Happy Face didn't you create a thread on this a canny while ago when you were doing one? I did. And I was great. ...except for holding my notes in front of my face so no-one could see or hear me. Then bring that thread up from the archives man! Who was it for btw? A lad I know through work...that's what made it difficult, I'd only known him a few years. You're the admin, merge them! I can't find it that's why I asked you to bump it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj 17 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Happy you should also find any old bint to get married to, just so Stu can deliver what would obviously be the greatest speech of all time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Happy Face didn't you create a thread on this a canny while ago when you were doing one? I did. And I was great. ...except for holding my notes in front of my face so no-one could see or hear me. Then bring that thread up from the archives man! Who was it for btw? A lad I know through work...that's what made it difficult, I'd only known him a few years. You're the admin, merge them! I can't find it that's why I asked you to bump it. Has it not been deleted? Wasn't there a clear out of old threads, or was it on N-O? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Happy you should also find any old bint to get married to, just so Stu can deliver what would obviously be the greatest speech of all time. He's done two Best Man speeches already (anyone that's met him asks him to do it basically). The first one was brilliant but I've not been able to source a video. I've got video of the second one and need to hoy it on Youtube, but it's not quite up to the standards of the first one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catmag 337 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Happy Face didn't you create a thread on this a canny while ago when you were doing one? I did. And I was great. ...except for holding my notes in front of my face so no-one could see or hear me. Then bring that thread up from the archives man! Who was it for btw? A lad I know through work...that's what made it difficult, I'd only known him a few years. You're the admin, merge them! I can't find it that's why I asked you to bump it. Has it not been deleted? Wasn't there a clear out of old threads, or was it on N-O? That was N-O. Can you vaguely remember the date of the wedding? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Happy Face didn't you create a thread on this a canny while ago when you were doing one? I did. And I was great. ...except for holding my notes in front of my face so no-one could see or hear me. Then bring that thread up from the archives man! Who was it for btw? A lad I know through work...that's what made it difficult, I'd only known him a few years. You're the admin, merge them! I can't find it that's why I asked you to bump it. Has it not been deleted? Wasn't there a clear out of old threads, or was it on N-O? That was N-O. Can you vaguely remember the date of the wedding? England v Portugal in the World Cup was the wedding day. So the thread must've been started a week or two before mid to late June 2006. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10876 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 make sure you make a toast to "Mr and Mrs xxxxx" always goes down a treat, nice way to start it off. you could always deliver as the two high pitched brothers from Hartlepool off Vic and Bobs show... that'd make me laugh, regardless of the content. in all honesty, if you try too hard to be funny, you'll end up sounding like a cock, if you don't try hard enough you'll sound boring. No pressure though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Try and keep it personal. I took the piss out of him having more shoes than her because his trainer fetish makes 2J look normal. Nowt too offensive about how many women he's reamed all over the bed they're about to share, but a gentle ribbing. I used a couple of internet jokes too like, no harm in that. The old ones are the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 15561 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 make sure you make a toast to "Mr and Mrs xxxxx" always goes down a treat, nice way to start it off. Start with a toast? Controversial! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catmag 337 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 make sure you make a toast to "Mr and Mrs xxxxx" always goes down a treat, nice way to start it off. Start with a toast? Controversial! Indeed. DO NOT start the speech with a toast! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimbo 175 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 I read out the bride and grooms horoscopes for the day and used a bit of poetic comedy license thrown in when I did my best man speech, and did a "on this day in history" bit too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj 17 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Dave will be ok anyway man, at least he'll only be heard and not seen when he delivers it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 7083 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 here you go... Username: bms783 Password: hector http://www.thebestmanspeech.com a gold mine do some searches on stuff he is into...get plenty of funny made up stuff in there. good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geordieboyo 0 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 When reading the cards do a few properly then.... 'And this one is from auntie x .... (cheeky grin and wink at auntie) 'I don't think I can read that out' Next. Its in the delivery, and pick the aunt well - not the loud up for a laugh auntie, and also not the sunday school teacher. Borderline prim and proper is best Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Isegrim 9803 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 I was at an Irish wedding three weeks ago. I don't know if there are the same traditions in England, but there it was a common thing to take bets on how long the speeches last in total. So as best man, I'd just start to keep it as long as possible just to piss off as many people as possible. Maybe start reciting sentencds from Ulyisses or that kind of crap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetleftpeg 0 Posted July 8, 2008 Author Share Posted July 8, 2008 Canny stuff people..cheers trophyshy especially..I will be using your password fortwith! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donaldstott 0 Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 SLP, I got the bride to place her left hand on the table and then asked the groom to place his right hand on hers, set it up early in the speech and kept referencing it throughout (i.e. is it still there). Then the final sentence was... And as my final act as best man it has given me great pleasure in allowing <insert groom> the final five minutes when he'll ever have the upper hand over <insert bride>. Also did a gag about the gift list, "I hope you've all been generous with the gift list ladies and gentleman as the bride was telling me earlier that she can't wait to take the coffee perculator home, well actually she said perky copulator, but I knew what she meant." Neither particularly original but went down a storm. Don Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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