F365's End of Season Awards

[Happy Face 29]

Absentee(s) Of The Season

Roman Abramovich, who preferred attending business meetings in Russia to watching Chelsea's really quite important games with Liverpool and Manchester United in person. His walk-out at Villa in September was a sign of things to come.

Runner-Up: George Gillett and Tom Hicks, neither of whom showed too much interest in watching Liverpool in person.

 

 

Apology Of The Season

The Daily Star conceding it had made the 'wrong assumption' when it wrote of Sven-Goran Eriksson being 'a hit with the ladies' after being spotted in the company of a young woman with his hand 'straying towards her bottom'. Two weeks later, the newspaper acknowledged that 'in fact the lady was Lina, Mr Eriksson's daughter with whom he was having a normal fatherly embrace'.

 

 

Bargain Of The Season

Blackburn Rovers' Roque Santa Cruz.

Runner-Up: £2m to get rid of Steve McClaren wasn't such a bad deal.

 

 

Cabbage Patch Of The Season:

The pitch at Wigan's JJB Stadium.

 

 

Carlos Queiroz's Quotes Of The Season

"The referee is a disgrace. He deserves somebody to come to the side of the pitch after five minutes, give him a red card and pull him out of the game. That is my opinion of this robber" - After the defeat to Portsmouth in the FA Cup.

Runner-Up: "Something is wrong with football" - After April's match at Chelsea saw United concede their first penalty of the season.

 

 

Clarification Of The Season

John Terry explaining that he and the rest of the Chelski mob only confronted Mike Riley after Ashley Cole's tackle at White Hart Lane to ensure the referee "did not to listen or be intimidated by the Tottenham bench trying to force him into a decision". Very noble of you, JT.

Runner-Up: Alex McLeish's suggestion that Eduardo's foot may have "got caught in the grass" because "he [Martin Taylor] didn't feel he made much contact with him".

 

 

Columnist Of The Season

David James, The Observer.

Runner-Up: Neil Warnock, The Independent.

 

 

Comeback Of The Season

Leeds United clambering into the League One play-offs after beginning the season 15 points behind the rest of the division.

Runner-Up: Bolton retaining their Premiership status for another season with a week to spare after appearing to be down and definitely out following Arsenal's improbable 2-0 down, 3-2 up comeback win at the Reebok in late March.

 

 

Craziest Reaction Of The Season

Javier Mascherano going bonkers after being sent off by Steve Bennett against Manchester United

Runner-Up: Newcastle fans proclaiming the Second Coming after the Messiah Kevin Keegan returned to St James'.

 

 

Crime Against Television Of The Season

Match of the Day broadcasting post-match interviews with Newcastle's ultra-bland assistant manager Nigel Pearson rather than doing the decent thing and snubbing the club in response to Sam Allardyce's boycott.

Runner-Up: Sky broadcasting Manchester United's predictably-routine win over Bolton while Chelsea and Tottenham were involved in an eight-goal thriller at White Hart Lane.

 

 

Déjà vu Of The Season

Chris Hutchings being sacked after 12 matches in charge of a Premier League club following his unexpected summer appointment. His dismissal on November 5 by Wigan occurred the day before the seventh anniversary of his ousting at Bradford.

 

 

Disappearance Of The Season

Elano. Where did he go after November?

Runner-Up: Denilson. Where did he go for two months after sitting on the bench in the San Siro?

 

 

Embarrassment Of The Season

England failing to reach Euro 2008 from a group containing those renowned powerhouses Croatia, Russia and Macedonia.

Runner-Up: Derby County - the trenchant two-word response to claims that the Premier League is the best league in the world.

 

 

Error Of The Season

Arsene Wenger's decision to sell Lassana Diarra for a considerable profit instead of retaining him as cover for Cesc Fabregas and Mathieu Flamini ahead of the abysmal Gilberto Silva.

Runner-Up: All the managers who selected weakened teams in the FA Cup in the expectation of further Big Four dominance.

Second Runner-Up: Rafa Benitez inspiring Didier Drogba's tie-winning contribution in the Liverpool v Chelsea Champions League semi-final by repeatedly disparaging the striker before the game.

 

 

Fall From Grace Of The Season:

Matt Oakley's decline from starting the season as the captain of a Premier League club (for whom he scored within five minutes of the new season) and ending it as a player of a club in the third tier of English football following his January move to Leicester City.

Runner-Up: Sam Allardyce's plummet from highly-respected England candidate to the managerial scrapheap after six tortuous months at Newcastle United.

 

 

Flop Of The Season

Florent Malouda. So bad that Chelsea even played Salomon Kalou in preference to their £13.5m summer recruit.

Runner-Up: Jari Litmanen. Described as "an excellent joker to have in the pack" when he was brought to Fulham by Roy Hodgson. The joke was on Fulham when the Finn failed to start a game and had his stint cut short after being knocked unconscious by a stray clearance in training.

 

 

Friendliest Act Of The Season

Roman Abramovich responding to Jose Mourinho's departure by phoning a friend.

Runner-Up: Alex Ferguson and Arsene Wenger's love-in after Arsenal's defeat at ManYoo in April.

 

 

Game Of The Season:

Tottenham 4 Chelski 4.

Runner-Up:: Manchester United 2 Arsenal 1.

 

 

Goal Of The Season

Cristiano Ronaldo's free-kick versus Portsmouth in January that left David James shaking his head.

Runner-Up:Emmanuel Adebayor's turn and volley at Tottenham in September.

 

 

Header Of The Season

Cristiano Ronaldo's astonishing leap to score Manchester United's opening goal in Rome.

 

 

Healthy Eater Of The Season:

Joey Barton, who was enjoying a McDonalds in the early hours of December 28 before being rudely interrupted and, allegedly, assaulting two members of the public outside the low-fat restaurant in Liverpool's city centre.

Runner-Up: James Harper, who revealed he suffered from diarrhoea during Reading's match with Liverpool in November after under-cooking the sausages during his pre-match, self-cooked fry-up. The lesson of the tale? "I had to go home and cook more sausages just to prove I could do it right."

 

 

Grump Of The Season

Radio Five's Alan Green, seemingly permanently on the brink of spontaneously combusting at the indignity of being paid to watch football for a living.

Runner-Up: Alan Curbishley. Did you hear that there were some injured players at West Ham?

 

 

Image Of The Season:

Eduardo's foot pointing in the opposite direction of his leg.

Runner-Up: Ashley Cole refusing to turn around and face Mike Riley.

 

 

Haircut Of The Season:

David James' afro. It even stopped Michael Owen from scoring a goal.

 

 

Hardest Worker Of The Season

Dirk Kuyt.

Runner-Up: Roman Abramovich - so busy with business in Russia from January until April that he couldn't even find time to once fly back to Chelsea on one of his private jets.

 

 

Headline Of The Season

'The Wally With The Brolly' - The Daily Mail on you-know-who.

 

 

Headline-Making Departure Of The Season

Jose Mourinho's sudden exit from Chelsea. It even took top billing on that night's edition of the Six O'Clock News.

[Andrew 4855]

alan green getting some shit at last, please let the BBC get fucking rid next season

[Guest alex]

alan green getting some shit at last, please let the BBC get fucking rid next season

I used to really like him but he's a bit of a joke now I find. Plus, he's so pro-Liverpool it's embarrassing. Him and Lawrenson shouldn't be allowed to do the commentary on FiveLive for their games.

[Andrew 4855]

alan green getting some shit at last, please let the BBC get fucking rid next season

I used to really like him but he's a bit of a joke now I find. Plus, he's so pro-Liverpool it's embarrassing. Him and Lawrenson shouldn't be allowed to do the commentary on FiveLive for their games.

 

i don't mind lawro so much, he's just clearly an idiot but green is so fucking miserable all the time it's infuriating, he never actually talks about the football either just gets lost rambling about the stadium or some little bits of trivia he knows about players personal lives

[luckyluke 2]

Match of the Day broadcasting post-match interviews with Newcastle's ultra-bland assistant manager Nigel Pearson rather than doing the decent thing and snubbing the club in response to Sam Allardyce's boycott.

 

But it's fine to let Queiroz talk for Man U because Ferguson's in a huff is it?

[Kid Dynamite 7167]

And Joe Jordan for Pompey what a joke!