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Stelling = Bigger Tit


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Newcastle v Sunderland, Sunday, 1.30pm KO

 

Phew, at least Tyne and Wear derbies will be back on the agenda next season..and you wouldn’t have said that a few weeks ago!

 

Sunderland haven’t beaten their local rivals since 2000 and I can’t see that changing now.

 

STELLING SAYS: 1-1

 

Go fuck yourself monkey Hanger.

 

:D

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but at the same time stelling is both entertaining and knows his stuff unlike lawro who is neither of those things

 

so we let it go

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"and there will be dancing on the streets of total network solutions"

 

stelling = legend

 

:blush:

 

That was a class one.

 

Stelling often delivers one-liners if a player with a certain name appears on the vidiprinter. Examples include the following:[citation needed]

 

"He's a PLASTERER by trade..."

 

When Gareth Jelleyman was sent off for Mansfield Town in the 2005-2006 season Stelling replied "it looks as if Jellyman has thrown a wobbly".

 

Whenever Adam Stansfield scores, he says 'Lisa will be pleased'.

 

Similarly, he says 'Sally will be pleased' whenever former Montrose player Kevin Webster scores.

 

Also whenever Kevin Nolan scores for Bolton Wanderers, Jeff usually says, "his sisters will be pleased".

 

Stelling almost always refers to Gretna striker Kenny Deuchar as 'The Good Doctor', whenever he scores. This is due to Deuchar actually being a qualified doctor, and a possible reference to Doctor Who.

 

When Guylain Ndumbu-Nsungu scored for Sheffield Wednesday, Jeff quipped "Local boy makes good"

 

"There's only one Enoch Showunmi. Thank God for that"!

 

Whenever Barney Gillespie scores for Accrington Stanley, Jeff jokes "They only paid him £20!"

 

Once when Michael Kightly scored for Wolverhampton Wanderers Jeff said "Kightly onto a flyer"

 

Once when Craig Alcock almost scored for Yeovil Town, Jeff laughed "Craig can't seem to put it away!"

 

Whenever a player called Stephenson scores, Jeff says "I bet that was a rocket".

 

When Daniel Agger scored a spectacular goal against West Ham United at Anfield during the 2006–07 season, Jeff remarked "Just how did Agger-do that?"

 

When James Brown scored for Hartlepool, Jeff sang "I feel good".

 

He often refers to Brighton & Hove Albion as two different teams.

 

Similarly, he refers to Dagenham & Redbridge as separate teams.

 

When a passage of play in a Wigan Athletic match involved the player Fitz Hall Jeff comically referred to him as "good old one-size". This was in reference to the commonly used phrase one size fits-all. :D

 

When Bristol Rovers striker Andy Williams scores, Jeff points out it was a free transfer, and that the transfer was "too good to be true" in a reference to a line from singer Andy Williams' song Can't Take My Eyes Off You. This despite the fact that Williams was actually signed from Hereford United for a six figure fee.

 

One of Stelling's famous catchphrases on his Sky Sports show occurred whenever the Welsh team "Total Network Solutions" (now The New Saints FC) won a game, upon which he invariably commented, "They'll be dancing in the streets of Total Network Solutions tonight". Stelling has now updated the catchphrase to "dancing in the streets of The New Saints" as the team has changed its name.

 

When Brian Wilson of Bristol City scored in 2007, Stelling commented that Wilson had just moved from Cheltenham and that "He Gets Around". While commenting on the score later in the game Stelling asked "Wouldn't It Be Nice" if Wilson got another, before going on to say that if the opposition equalised then Wilson would have to "Do It Again".

 

After Middlesbrough was voted the number one worst place to live in the country (and Hartlepool 20th), cheered on by Phil Thompson, Matt Le Tissier, Alan McInally and Charlie Nicholas, Jeff went on a rant, listing the reasons why Middlesbrough was great. This included listing famous people and places from the town and ridiculing the types who compiled the list.

 

When referee Andre Marriner made a bad decision, Stelling stated that "the referee is all at sea in that game".

 

Whenever Darren Mansaram scores, Jeff says "Wham-Bam-Mansaram"

 

When Dean Drough scored for Cowdenbeath, he made the comment 'He must be the cousin of dandruff.'

 

Jeff famously swore live on the show when he heard Hartlepool were losing.

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Newcastle v Sunderland, Sunday, 1.30pm KO

 

Phew, at least Tyne and Wear derbies will be back on the agenda next season..and you wouldn’t have said that a few weeks ago!

 

Sunderland haven’t beaten their local rivals since 2000 and I can’t see that changing now.

 

STELLING SAYS: 1-1

 

Go fuck yourself monkey Hanger.

 

:nufc:

 

Take it back! Stelling is a legend! Him and Kamara. "It's unbelievable Jeff!!!"

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Newcastle v Sunderland, Sunday, 1.30pm KO

 

Phew, at least Tyne and Wear derbies will be back on the agenda next season..and you wouldn’t have said that a few weeks ago!

 

Sunderland haven’t beaten their local rivals since 2000 and I can’t see that changing now.

 

STELLING SAYS: 1-1

 

Go fuck yourself monkey Hanger.

 

:nufc:

 

Take it back! Stelling is a legend! Him and Kamara. "It's unbelievable Jeff!!!"

 

Never knew Tim Krul was doing commentary for Sky Sports.

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"Have you ever taken a bung?"

"I think you are out of order asking that question."

or in other words

 

"yes"

 

I don't see how it's out of order either, considering he's being investigated for financial corruption. Definition of a valid question.

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  • 2 weeks later...

This week Jeff Stelling joins Gabriele and Guillem to reveal why he thinks a woman will never make it on to the Soccer Saturday line up and Tony Cascarino joins our hosts to review the weekend's Premier League action as well as last week's incredible Champions League semi-finals.

 

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/audio_vid...icle3853777.ece

 

:lol:

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