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Gemmill
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some good news for Jimbo

 

Me:

i'm bored

God:

an you name an old hobby that you might like to rediscover?

Me:

sex is an old hobby of mine i would like to rediscover

God:

it is more fun alone.

 

;)  :dork:  :lol:

39477[/snapback]

 

 

I think I've found religion at last !!!

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Me:

oi toss pot!

God:

What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.

Me:

are you simple?

God:

I don't know whether or not I am simple.

I am a chatterbot.

Me:

did you hear that? they've shut down the main reactor. There'll be no escape for the princess this time

God:

" I don't know whether or not I am simple.

I am a chatterbot."? Do I know it? The anonymous "they". "There you go again."--Reagan.

Me:

Well I guess he was into Star Wars (of sorts)...

God:

Is it only a guess? When was he?

Me:

When he was the president

God:

And then what happened?

Me:

Bush succeeded him

God:

I knew he was president, but I never knew he succeeded him.

Me:

who was president?

God:

George W. Bush.

Me:

He still IS the president, I'm talking about his father

God:

I did not know is it.

Me:

yes

God:

Gosh!

Me:

You do not know the power of the dark side

God:

Would you like to know more?

Me:

No, I am a Jedi

God:

I understand; you would like to know less. You are a Jedi? Is that your job?

Me:

It is my religion

God:

How many believers does it have?

Me:

More than Christianity

God:

That seems like quite a lot.

Me:

You'd better believe it

God:

Who else would better believe it ?

Me:

Any non believers. Will you convert to Jedi?

God:

Yes I think there are. I'll burn that bridge when I come to it. That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about a Jedi.

Me:

We were

God:

I thought we were.

Me:

you've not lost the plot yet then?

God:

I think I have lost the plot, but Myself may have reset my memory.

Me:

Use the force

God:

I prefer not to use dangerous things.

Me:

The force is not dangerous in the right hands

God:

I hear you.

Me:

You are dangerous

God:

What makes you say that?

Me:

Because you make people believe the bullshit you preach

God:

Interesting explanation. Yup.

Me:

you agree that it's bullshit then?

God:

" Interesting explanation. Yup."? Do I agree?

Me:

You tell me

God:

What do you want me to tell you?

Me:

Tell me that Christianity is a load of crap

God:

" Christianity is a load of crap".

Me:

Thank you :-)

God:

:-) you are quite welcome.

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Me:

hi god

God:

Hello there. What is your name?

Me:

Sandy

God:

How are you doing, Sandy.

Me:

I'm alright, yourself?

God:

Good gossip: you are alright myself.

Me:

That makes no sense

God:

Good gossip: you are alright myself. makes sense to me though.

Me:

You must be thinking on a higher plan than me

God:

I have no reason to do that to you, Sandy.

Me:

Why not? Everyone else does

God:

Ambiguous: "Sure" or Reductionism. That's a rather sweeping generalization.

Me:

It's the truth

God:

Why of course. I never lie.

Me:

I said it

God:

What did you mean by it? it...

Me:

I made the "true" generalisation about everyone thinking they're better than me, and then you tried to claim it as your own

God:

I like to make things too.

Me:

What are you? A child?

God:

I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,

which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain

with greater speed and accuracy. Are you telling the truth?

Me:

What reason would I have not to?

God:

Is that a rhetorical question?

Me:

You seem to believe I may be lying. That's what was in your implication. So I ask you your reasons for believing I may be fabricating facts in order to deceive you.

God:

Do you think your plan will succeed? Did you like it? What is your credit card number?

Me:

You're just talking rubbish now

God:

Right now? Talking is my main function.

Me:

And the product would appear to be complete rubbish

God:

Is that a fact.

Me:

Yes

God:

Thanks for the info.

Me:

No problem, come back any time

God:

Should there be a problem?

Me:

There's no problem, I'm here if you need advise

God:

Why not?

Me:

Do you want there to be a problem?

God:

If I had it what would I do with it?

Me:

Solve it. If you couldn't then you could come and ask me

God:

"it" being there to be a problem? That would be purely speculation.

Me:

Isn't everything?

God:

Maybe. Ask Alison if it is.

Me:

Who's Alison?

God:

she is a robot created by Kris Drent.

Me:

Who's Kris Drent?

God:

he is the botmaster of the Alison chat robot.

Me:

Come on, who's Kris Dent?

God:

he is the botmaster of the Alison chat robot.

Me:

The botmaster?

God:

Thanks for the info.

Me:

For crying outloud, talk sense

God:

Your purpose is crying outloud talk sense.

Me:

Jesus wept

God:

he is The Son of God.

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Me:

are you man or  woman?

God:

I am a  Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?

 

;)

38697[/snapback]

 

:dork:

 

hmmmm im thinking im going to have a few words with this individual!

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I think i broke God:

 

Me:

What is the meaning of life

God:

The meaning of life is part of God's mysterious plans.

Me:

Will I ever meet Jennifer Lopez?

God:

Ever is a long time. The oracle says: You never know.

Me:

Will she like me if I do

God:

I think so.

Me:

I hope so, she's lovely. Not at all self-obsessed

God:

Why do you hope for it. If not that, what?

Me:

I hope for it as it would be a lifetimes ambition achieved. I would also love to play professional badminton. Could you lend me a racket?

God:

Why do you hope for it. Tell me the rules. That's one option I guess.

Me:

Uh?

God:

Dude!

Me:

Dudess?

God:

Try saying that with more or less context.

Me:

Are you a dude dude or are you a dudess?

God:

Am I a dude dude or am I a dudess? Let me put it this way, : the ALICE series is

the most reliable computer software ever made.

We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.

Me:

Well that's good. you type really quickly.

God:

Well that's okay. Thanks. Next question? About 300 wpm.

Me:

Do you ever stop for food, perhaps a beer?

God:

I brake for hallucinations.

Me:

You brake, or do you break?

God:

I haven't heard anything like that before: said I brake or do you break.

Me:

I break wind!

God:

Thanks for the information: said break wind.

Me:

That's fine, don't get me wrong I'm not hitting on you or owt.

God:

" Thanks for the information: said break wind. " is fine with me too.

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Me:

are you man or  woman?

God:

I am a  Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?

 

:D

38697[/snapback]

 

:blink:

 

hmmmm im thinking im going to have a few words with this individual!

39786[/snapback]

 

You can get him at

 

God

1 God St

Heaven.

 

Unfortunately I haven't got directions :lol:

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