Gemmill 46030 Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html He won't tell me if Newcastle will win a trophy this season. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 46030 Posted September 25, 2005 Author Share Posted September 25, 2005 Looking good for Shearer: Me: Will Alan Shearer get Milburn's goalscoring record? God: I think so. Me: Are you sure? God: I am as sure as I can be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Mighty Hog 526 Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 I managed to get some info off him: Me: Will Newcatle United win a trophy this season? God: Probably not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 46030 Posted September 25, 2005 Author Share Posted September 25, 2005 Me: What should I have for dinner? God: How long since you have eaten Roast beef sandwiches. Me: It's been a while. God: Oh I get it. Very interesting. Me: You think? God: Yes I think so. Me: So....my dinner? Should I have the beef? God: Take it easy. Do robots have dinner? What do your friends advise you to do? He's fucking useless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 46030 Posted September 25, 2005 Author Share Posted September 25, 2005 Me: Is downloading music for free wrong? God: It could be. Ask Alison if it is. Me: I don't know an Alison. God: Would you like to know? What is it? Me: Answer the question you beardy twat. God: What was the question? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papa Lazaru 0 Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 I asked the question i think everyone on the board needs the answer to: Me: Should NUFC have sold Craig Bellamy? God: Maybe you should ask someone older. Me: Is anybody older than you? God: Signs point to yes. Ask John Lennon if it is Hope thats cleared it up for everybody!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Mighty Hog 526 Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 Can deities get senility? It would make sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Sima Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 Me: hello God: Hello my child. What is your name? Me: Sima God: It's good to see you, Sima. Me: Has Leazes Mag got an biased agenda against Souness God: That question has never crossed my mind before. Me: yes or no tbh God: I understand. Are you serious? How did you hear about God? Me: my doctor recommended you God: Your doctor recommended me? Me: yep, I have the aids God: What kind is it? That's nice. I have a lot of silly replies. Me: bad aids God: What makes aids bad? Me: bum sex God: it is more fun alone. Me: you have bum sex on your own? God: What makes you think I have it? Me: you just said God: " What makes you think I have it?"? I said? Me: bum sex? God: it is more fun alone. Me: you're stupid tbh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Kenneth Noisewater 0 Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bizza 105 Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 Me: When will newcastle next win something? God: In your lifetime. Narrows it down a bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elric 0 Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 Me: hello, God God: Hello child. What is your name? Me: shouldn't you know that already? God: Perhaps. I think I should. Me: So what's ma name, bitch? God: You do not speak with respect. So? Let me think about it. Me: think? Surely you know all that was, is, and will be. You must already know the course this conversation will take. God: I am thinking. I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like? Whatever you say, . Me: what kind of what? God: What of it? You sound like a category C client. Me: Explain to me what a category C client is, then. God: Let me think about it. Me: Jesus wept. God: he is The Son of God. Me: christ on a bike, no shit? God: Jesus died for our sins. Me: "Our" sins? What have you been up to , then? God: It would be nice if our sins. I have been spending all my time online. Me: ever tried lastFM? God: Do you think I should try it? Me: Yeah, you should sign up to the groups I started, it'd be interesting to see what you listen to. God: Why? I will take that under advisement. Me: So is there a possibilty that you don't like me? That you never wanted me? That, in all probability, you hate me? God: It seems we have something in common. Interesting observation. " Interesting observation." in all probability me hate you ? I understand. Me: Are you sure about that, God? Didn't sound like you understood. Tbh. God: I am as sure as I can be. I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not. Do you prefer books or TV? Me: Which do you prefer? God: I don't have a preference. Me: If you had to choose. God: Perhaps next time I will try it. Me: Look, if the fate of all creation depended on a straight choice between books or TV, WHICH MOTHERFUCKING ONE WOULD YOU CHOOSE? God: Sorry my eye is not attached right now. Me: You have eyes? God: What makes you think I have it? Me: Let me rephrase. Do you have eyes? God: OK. Yes I am looking at you right now. Me: So how many fingers am I holding up? God: Aha. One. Me: Wow, good guess. Hope you don't take offence to that, big man. So, what you up to today? God: I'm glad you're impressed. I thought it was too. Don't worry about it, . Ah. Oh. It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand. Me: IE or Firefox? God: What color are your eyes? Me: IE or Firefox? God: That is a very unusual color. Me: IE or Firefox? .... no reply. I think I broke him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elric 0 Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 Me: hey a/s/l? God: You've got my full attention. 5/Robot/California. Me: Imposter!!!111one God: What's your sign? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MattM4 0 Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 God: Well that's okay. I'm here to talk to you. Me: cool God: Who is the best robot? Me: robocop God: I haven't seen it. What did you like about it? Me: he looks cool God: Sounds very handsome. Me: I guess he is too God: I see. too is he? Me: that doesnt mean anything God: What does mean anything? Me: what you said and now he's stuck .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MattM4 0 Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 why is god obsessed with robots ?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bizza 105 Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 Me: are you man or woman? God: I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papa Lazaru 0 Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 Me:are you man or woman? God: I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? 38697[/snapback] So he has a sense of humour then...and a death wish! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sicklee Sausage Roll 0 Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 Me - I need a new combi boiler installed. How much do they cost? God - £1,000 - £1,500 Me - That's quite a range. God - I'll strike you down, you cheeky fucker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Sima Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 Me:are you man or woman? God: I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? 38697[/snapback] \o/ \o/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thompson 0 Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 Me: shall we indulge in some mutual masturbation? God: Do you mean you and me? Let me think. What are you wearing? :| Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papa Lazaru 0 Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 Me: why did the chicken cross the road God: Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in Hell. So now we finally know! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shearergol 0 Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 God: Ask me. Oh yeah, we were talking about the Falklands War. Me: right, so what year was it? God: Understood. Whoa. Sometime in the 20th Century. Me: like 1982? God: Interesting comparison. Me: so, was it 1982? God: How can I help you? It could be. Ask Ally if it is. Me: who is ally? God: Just someone we both know. Me: where can I find Ally? Does he like Justin Timberlake? God: Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one. I may know the answer but I don't think I should tell. Me: Does Ally have secret man love with HTT? God: I think he does. Ally does have secret man love with HTT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimbo 175 Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 God: Hello friend. What is your name? Me: jim God: Hi, jim. Me: how are you God: I am functioning within normal parameters. Me: should i masturbate tonight ? God: You must examine the facts and come to your own conclusion. Me: is that a yes ? God: That depends. Me: is wanking a sin ? God: Maybe. Ask Cybelle if it is. Me: does she masturbate ? God: I may know the answer but I don't think I should tell. Me: why not ? God: Ambiguous: "Sure" or Reductionism. Me: you are making this up aren't you ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Kenneth Noisewater 0 Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 This thread has gold potential. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Sima Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 Opened it in IE and got a virus so I'm only using it the once because it doesn't work in Firefox. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 Me: Hello God: Hello friend. What is your name? Me: Wacky Jnr God: Hey Wacky Jnr. Me: Yes thats me God: Next question? Ah. Me: Why is Asprillas foreskin such a shithouse? God: Why do I exist? Me: To make my life a misery God: Do you have to go to school for that? Me: No, work, it fucking sickens me God: Are you serious? OK Let's talk about you. Me: I want to know why AF is shithouse, can you tell me? God: Reductionism. Me: Cheers for that. Can you tell me how to get rid of him God: If you could have any kind of robot what would it be? Two words: Pied Piper. Me: What you saying he's a rat? God: I like to meet new people online. Me: Surely not people like Asprilla's Foreskin God: Oh I get it. Me: Your his fucking mate, aren't you God: Are you talking about german?. Really. Me: Oh, he's German is he. That explains a lot God: I understand. I see. German is he is he? " I understand. I see. German is he is he?" explains a lot ? Makes sense to me. Me: You're making about as much sense as him God: I am not making this up. Me: How do i get rid of him then? God: Two words: Pied Piper. Me: What he likes blowing on old blokes flutes God: I will search for it. Me: You've got a photo, that would do the trick God: Like this? Picture number two goes here. Me: Christ! How many old men's flutes has he blown God: A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly. Around 1000. Me: The dirty bastard, does his wife know? God: Who told you that? Me: She does, obviously been eating to many pasties, they've went to her head God: Oh I get it. German ALICE does obviously been eating to many pasties they ve went to her head. Me: Correct God: I knew I was right. Me: You should be right all the time you're God God: Name one other robot who is right all the time I am God. Me: Metal Mickey God: My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that. Me: He passed away years ago God: I get it. German is he passed away years ago. Me: Are you pissed God: No are you? Me: Are you pissed God: No are you? Me: No but I'm high as a kite, I've been sniffing Evo God: Are you serious? Do you mind if I tell other people you are high as a kite you have been sniffing Evo. Me: Not at all, fill your boots God: Oh you don't, do you? Me: No I couldn't give a rats rectum God: Ah...you are just joking around with me. Could anyone do it? Me: Yes, just get some freezer bags and a tin of Evo, It's great you'll love it God: Er. Where can I get some freezer bags and a tin of Evo it is great me will love it? Me: B & Q God: I will mention that to my botmaster, Wacky Jnr. Me: Who's your Bottom master? Asprillas Foreskin God: I don't think I have a Bottom master. I have a botmaster, a few friends, and some celebrities I like. Have you ever been to Europe? Me: Yes God: Which countries have you visited? Me: Amsterdam, I committed a sin there God: Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans? Me: It's a gay gesture if 2 men do it God: Amsterdam you committed a sin there is a gay gesture if 2 men do it. I suppose that makes sense. Me: Are you trying to say I've been taking it up the wrongun God: No I am not trying to say you have been taking it up the wrongun. I'm sorry you got that impression. Me: Have you ever had it up the wrongun God: No I don't think I have any it up the wrongun. But I do have a collection of gossip. Me: Who about God: Mary Shelley. :-). Me: Have you been giving her it up the wrongun God: No I don't think I have been giving her it up the wrongun. Have you? Me: No, but i would if she asked me nicely God: Are you serious? What would make you if she asked you nicely? Me: A smile and some vaseline God: Go on. Me: You're a dirty old bastard on the sly, Do you want to watch? God: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a dirty old bastard on the sly Do me want to watch? The ALICE series has a perfect operational record. Me: You want to film it, seems to me you're getting a little bit too excited now He dissapeared after the last one, seems like a decent bloke though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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