Scousers and Ducks

[JawD 99]

#1

 

Irishman, Aussie and a Scouser in a bar. The spot Jesus sat on his own. The all send him a drink over and Jesus sups each pint slowly. When he's finished he walks over to the irishman, shakes his hand and thanks him for the guiness. "Blimey" says the irishman, my arthritis has gone! Jesus then thanks the aussie for his fosters. "Crikey" says the Aussie, my bad back is cured!

 

Jesus then approached the scouser "You can Fuck right off! Im on disability benefit you twat!"

 

#2

 

Scouser walks in a job centre and tells the assistant "Im hard working, honest and desperate for a job". The assistant tells him "thats fortunate, we have just had one come in. We need a chauffeur for a millionaire which includes looking after his two nympho twin daughters while he is overseas. Salary is £200k per year.

 

The scouser says "You're bullshitting me!"

 

Assistant replied "Well you fucking started it!".

 

#3

 

Two ducks on their honeymoon in a hotel. About to make love, the Drake realises they dont have any condoms. "I'll call room service" he quacks. He calls reception and asks. "Ok sir, shall I put them on your bill?" he is asked "No you idiot I'll bloody suffocate!".

 

 

[bobbyshinton 59]